Incorrect Machineries of Empire Quotes

(Incorrect And Possibly Heretical)

[super-ion]

Hey man, I saw your living weapon staring at its reflection. You might wanna get that looked at

[nonbinary-bosmer]

Yeah, your emotionless tool of destruction is beginning to develop a sense of self. Probably nothing to worry ‘bout though

[acidgraffiti]

sweet will it fuck me?

[neuxue]

'aftermath of torture'? coward. show me the math of torture. the calculus of evil and the terrible geometry of pain.

[jonnywaistcoat]

Are you a soldier, poet, or king?

King beats soldier, who must bow to their orders.

Soldier beats poet, who has no defense against their violence.

Poet beats king, whose pride cannot stand the biting their satire.

Having locked all three in perfectly-balanced conflict, I leave them to their eternal cycle and walk away unscathed because I'm a games designer.

[cafffine]

bro just add some green onion to that rice dish you’ll be ok. bro? you don’t have any green onion? oh don’t worry bro I saved the butts of my green onions and left them in a cup of water in my sunny kitchen window for a week, and now they are tall and luscious again because growth is inevitable. Here, you can have them bro. I love you.

[funnytwittertweets]

[10001gecs]

hey um im rly sorry but i saved ur boyfriend in the wrong format and now his save file is corrupted. so he’s evil and weird now. sorry

[incorrecthexarchatequotes]

If he's your girl how come he's my gun?

[owenology]

fuck algebra i don’t need it just give me a dead body and i’ll figure it out from there

[owenology]

i feel i should clarify i am a mortuary science major

[astraldemise]

oh i am going to make this everyones problem

[entities-of-posts]

The Corruption

[boyjinx-deactivated20260111]

Bethesda

[tanadrin]

all calendrical systems are fucked up because they’re trying to do too many things at once, the prototypical example being keep track of important agricultural scheduling matters and also divide time into equal segments, which is a problem when your principle timekeeping methods like the sun, moon, stars, seasons, and so forth don’t quite line up (and may indeed vary slightly wrt one another)

Some ancient societies solved this by resetting their calendar based on an empirical observation, which works well enough when your principle concern is local agricultural matters. Others let their calendar drift with respect to the year, but periodically reset it. Yet others added consistent leap days or intercalary days. Modern timekeeping methodology has things like “Unix time,” which is a fixed number of elapsed seconds since a particular moment, and “UTC,” which has leap seconds and other nonsense so it consistently tracks astronomical data, for day-to-day scheduling purposes. Some countries simply split their civil and traditional/religious calendars (or whatever), which is honestly a pretty good idea even if it introduces another layer of complexity into your society.

Me, I think we’re not thinking big enough. I think if astronomical phenomenon do not adequately serve our calendar-making purposes, we should make them. To that end, I propose we blow up the moon, and use it as reaction mass to halt the rotation of the Earth. Sure, billions will die. Possibly the whole species. But our children–direct or via whatever offshoot of life manages to survive in deep ocean hydrothermal vents–will inherent a more orderly, well-managed world. And in the end, isn’t that what matters?

[sufficientlylargen]

The real problem with a lot of natural phenomena is that they *change*. A few hundred million years ago days were around 21 hours long. Then the climate changed and the atmospheric tides stopped cancelling out the lunar tides and we’ve been spinning more slowly on average ever since. But also the 2005 earthquake in Indonesia reshaped the earth slightly, and and made days shorter by a couple microseconds. And filling the Three-Gorge reservoir in China shifted enough mass to make the day a few nanoseconds longer. And also every 27 years or so the days get a few milliseconds longer for about five years, then go back, and nobody knows why. 2020 we spun faster than in 2019, and 2021 we’re faster still.

The point is that reality is imperfect, and decaying around us always, even if only at timescales we can barely comprehend. Things like standardized units of time are just our feeble attempts to impose organization on the swirling chaos that surrounds and controls us; we create mental models and call them “seconds” and “hours” and “days” and “years”, while dedicated scientists work tirelessly to keep them in sync with the utter impermanence of the universe.

tl;dr: We should destroy the universe, after which standards can safely and accurately be imposed at all scales.

[incel-wheatley]

i could fix him but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier

[tanadrin]

all calendrical systems are fucked up because they’re trying to do too many things at once, the prototypical example being keep track of important agricultural scheduling matters and also divide time into equal segments, which is a problem when your principle timekeeping methods like the sun, moon, stars, seasons, and so forth don’t quite line up (and may indeed vary slightly wrt one another)

Some ancient societies solved this by resetting their calendar based on an empirical observation, which works well enough when your principle concern is local agricultural matters. Others let their calendar drift with respect to the year, but periodically reset it. Yet others added consistent leap days or intercalary days. Modern timekeeping methodology has things like “Unix time,” which is a fixed number of elapsed seconds since a particular moment, and “UTC,” which has leap seconds and other nonsense so it consistently tracks astronomical data, for day-to-day scheduling purposes. Some countries simply split their civil and traditional/religious calendars (or whatever), which is honestly a pretty good idea even if it introduces another layer of complexity into your society.

Me, I think we’re not thinking big enough. I think if astronomical phenomenon do not adequately serve our calendar-making purposes, we should make them. To that end, I propose we blow up the moon, and use it as reaction mass to halt the rotation of the Earth. Sure, billions will die. Possibly the whole species. But our children–direct or via whatever offshoot of life manages to survive in deep ocean hydrothermal vents–will inherent a more orderly, well-managed world. And in the end, isn’t that what matters?

[sufficientlylargen]

The real problem with a lot of natural phenomena is that they *change*. A few hundred million years ago days were around 21 hours long. Then the climate changed and the atmospheric tides stopped cancelling out the lunar tides and we’ve been spinning more slowly on average ever since. But also the 2005 earthquake in Indonesia reshaped the earth slightly, and and made days shorter by a couple microseconds. And filling the Three-Gorge reservoir in China shifted enough mass to make the day a few nanoseconds longer. And also every 27 years or so the days get a few milliseconds longer for about five years, then go back, and nobody knows why. 2020 we spun faster than in 2019, and 2021 we’re faster still.

The point is that reality is imperfect, and decaying around us always, even if only at timescales we can barely comprehend. Things like standardized units of time are just our feeble attempts to impose organization on the swirling chaos that surrounds and controls us; we create mental models and call them “seconds” and “hours” and “days” and “years”, while dedicated scientists work tirelessly to keep them in sync with the utter impermanence of the universe.

tl;dr: We should destroy the universe, after which standards can safely and accurately be imposed at all scales.

[unclefather]

[theglasscat]

this image is probably the most accurate visual representation of the United States education system

[bolcseszgoblin]

Oh boy.

Do I have a story for you…

So this is the iconic and beloved clock of Moszkva square in Budapest, Hungary. Or more precisely it was.

It was a very popular meeting point for generations.

„2pm on Moszkva, under the clock?” „sure” It was in the middle of the square, so you could see each other pretty easily from anywhere.

When they „renovated” (rebuilt) and renamed the square that is now called Széll Kálmán tér (only by youngsters and tourists who don’t know any better - it will remain for a lot of us „the Moszkva”) the old clock was removed.

So. Removing the clock was very controversial, but it had to go, because someone dreamed about a new shiny one. Here it is. New, and weird and DIGITAL.

The problem is, it stopped working. For days. (you see, fixing it was time-consuming…) And they came and fix it. But it broke down in a couple of days again and again, so the lovely people around helped to fix it. Some of the best solutions:

Graffity: ?Is this a clock? No" and Where is the old clock? Furthermore, on the clock it states that it shows the right time.

An artistic rendition:

But my favorite one is where people got enough of the breaking down abomination, and the heartless people taking down the actually working clocks (it is a very busy square with a lot of public transport connections), and things escalated quickly:

I think this is the most of them we had taped on at once.

The papers state: In memoriam of the unknown time. Rest in Peace

So… I guess, Hungarians do.

[egyszavak]

content

[wumblr]

all of the numbers that are divisible by 17 sound so absurd. 51? 68? 85? ridiculous. 102? absolutely not. and don't even get me started on 119

[wumblr]

34 and 136 i can believe, but i feel like i shouldn’t. it’s 102 in a trench coat

[red-swimmerz-deactivated2021082]

did we just run out of posts to make

[wumblr]

no, i haven't made a post about every number yet

[swinginsportscutebasketball]

I'm sorry to let you know that 100,000,001 (one hundred million and one) is divisible by 17 and because of that, so is every 16-digit number that is four digits repeated four times e.g. 1234123412341234

[robotgirlfoxears-deactivated202]

Fuckin number theory at it again. Do you have the proof for the 16 digit number of 4 digits repeated 4 times? I wanna see God tonight.

[wumblr]

i don't have the proof, but the tough part generalizes to every number that is four digits repeated twice, like 12341234, being divisible by 10,001 (which is not divisible by 17). or at least, all of the ones i checked. QED

[incorrecthexarchatequotes]

jedao 2: do nipples grow back?

cheris: ...my condolences.

[shuosjoke]

i’d forgotten about the sunless sea foe literally named ‘tyrant moth’

Keep reading

[gryffon]

watch out bitches i have a twenty six foot wingspan