caesar dying under a statue of pompey so that the last thing he sees is his old political rival with his dick out
nobody telling cicero anything even though they knew he hated caesar because cicero is incapable of shutting the fuck up
them calling out to cicero to save the republic as they stabbed caesar was the first cicero heard of the plot
cicero crying in a letter afterwards about how it hurt his feelings that he wasnt invited to the stabbing (”how i wish you had invited me to that glorious banquet on the ides of march!”)
liberatores massively underestimating how much the middle/lower classes loved caesar and having to barricade themselves on the capitoline and then flee italy altogether because they were going to get ripped apart
them trying to defend their assassination by claiming that caesar was a tyrant and his authority should not have been recognized and therefore it was a just action. only for them to flee to the provinces that were awarded to them by caesar, meaning that they actually did recognize his authority
mark antony thinking that he was going to be named caesar’s heir only to find out during the public reading of his will that caesar had actually named his great-nephew his heir.
octavian wasn’t even in rome at the time. mark antony really rolled up to the reading in the forum thinking he was gonna have it made only to be publicly embarrassed
antony claiming that the only reason octavian was named heir was because he bribed caesar with sexual favors
mark antony accusing anyone of sexual impropriety
the triumvirs being two middle aged generals and one teenage boy who knew he held all the cards. all three of these people hated each other.
cicero somehow thinking that he could win octavian to his side (despite cicero being a very vocal opponent of his late adoptive father) and that if octavian held high political office cicero could manipulate him to secure his own political power
these favors amounting to absolutely nothing when octavian was like yeah we’re gonna put him on the kill list
the irony of marcus tullius “yeah lets execute the catilinarian conspirators without trial despite them being roman citizens. this will absolutely not come back to bite me in the ass” cicero getting executed without trial
lepidus not realizing he was the lepidus of the story and trying to rally his legions to get rid of octavian only for all of them to go “nah, fuck that.” and defect to octavian
i need to emphasize how funny this was. lepidus was a general with years of military experience and all of his men just fucking up and left him for the kid who hides in his tent during battles
octavian didn’t even kill lepidus for this he just told him to fuck off and he did.
octavian’s habit of mysteriously falling ill before several battles and staying in his tent while his friend agrippa did all the work
dededos
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
gummygunk
vaporwave
annaxmalina
