in theory, a human being

Lila // they/them // just your friendly neighborhood autistic chemistry phd student

[what-even-is-thiss]

If nobody ever explained this to you, if someone you see a lot does something you like and you never ever tell them that, they might think you don’t like them or don’t like the things they do for you.

[what-even-is-thiss]

If you like your sister’s cooking and have never ever told her that, she may very well think that you hate her cooking. If you like it when your friend drives you places and you never ever thank them, they might think you’re not grateful even if you are. If you like it when your partner does this or that thing for you they won’t know that unless you tell them.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Tell people in your life hey thanks for driving me, that was a great dinner, I like your singing, thanks for helping me with that. They don’t automatically know that you appreciate what they do.

[yourheartinyourmouth]

learning this genuinely changed so much about my life and my interactions with other people.

[totearup]

After the wedding (and all of Ilya’s citizenship paperwork is secure so that a name change won't fuck everything up) their legal names are Hollander-Rozanov but they keep them the same for hockey to avoid confusion.

However, Ilya starts this bit where whenever someone at practice or at an event calls for Hollander he acts like he thought they were calling for him, usually saying something like "you said Hollander! I am a Hollander!" And it's so stupid but Shane is charmed and amused every time, and he starts doing the same thing when people say Rozanov.

Eventually the team just starts using their numbers to refer to them, and Ilya follows one time when Wiebe calls for "24" because "I am a 24 by marriage!" And the whole team groans at them and someone throws a ball of tape at Ilya's head.

[atombombtom]

[atombombtom]

[catharticscream]

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

[lavenderprose]

I know we joke about it all the time but hotel room walls are...GENUINELY very thin. The bit in the HR novel where Shane and Ilya fuck in the shower so that the water drowns out the sounds actually rang as extremely accurate to me. Like, the lack of boundaries that must exist not just for the Centaurs but for ANYBODY who spends a significant amount of time sharing hotel room walls with their teammates is just unbelievable.

Like, on any given roadie the people sharing walls with the Hollanovs can expect to overhear:

- One side of phone calls between Shane and his mother where every third word is FUCK and Shane's voice gets higher the more he works himself up about whatever league drama is pissing him off that week

- Ilya yelling in Russian (Non sex reasons) (He and Svetlana are talking about Matheson in Colorado. Again.)

- Ilya gets hay fever real bad in Seattle and spends an entire night sneezing at EAR SPLITTING volume, each sneeze followed by a, "AHH!" from Shane as he is startled awake. Again.

- The Christmas wish lists of every Pike child and how they're going to be divvy'd up for the year. This conversation takes place in September.

- "I'm telling you, the penalty kill could be a work of fucking art if Haas--oh fuck, right there, don't stop--"

- As stated before, an objectively obnoxious amount of showering is happening. At one point LaPointe turns to Bood and says something to the effect of, "Crazy that Hollander takes TWO showers after every game, I guess he really is superstitious," and Bood just. Chooses not to engage.

- A thunderous and almighty BANG. This is the sound of Ilya's suitcase hitting the floor after it inevitably slides off the bed.

- "Shaaaaane, look at the livestream from the dog hotel--look at how cute! She is so sleepy, she's holding her banana like a baaaaby--"

- Vin Diesel's voice, unimaginably loud, at one AM

- Russian Yelling (Non sex reasons) (Sasha did something stupid)

- "Unh unh unh UNH UNH UNH--" (Squeak. Squeak.)

- Celtics game. Twenty minutes beforehand: "Fuck, Shane, how do I get ESPN on the stupid--Roku stick thing--"

- "Okay, look, your dad played the word veer--is not real word, right? Like, deer with a V? It's real? Shane, we can't let your dad win--no, it's not cheating, he gets Yuna's help--"

- Stuff about Rose Landry's upcoming film that they should probably all sign NDAs for even thinking about.

- Russian Yelling (Sex reasons. Probably. It sounds...ardent.)

- One time, for an entire night, silence. The day immediately preceeding this night and the morning immediately after are best left unspoken about.

- The sound of Shane's fuckass electric toothbrush for WAY too long. Seriously man it cannot be healthy to brush your teeth for that lo--oh. Got it. Okay. Where are my earbuds.

- "I mean, it's not like I'm sixteen anymore, right? It's just that sometimes I think she looks at me and sees a fucking kid still, and I get it, I get it--and fuck, babe, I know it's not fair to feel this way, she's the only mom I'll ever have, and you don't even--ugh--"

- "I'm so terribly sorry the hotel misplaced your bags, Mister Rozanov. If there's any way that we can...make it up to you..." [Giggle. Kissing sound. Kissing sound. Moan.]

- Banging on the wall and, "KEEP IT DOWN, ROOK," the one. Singular. Time. That Holmberg manages to pull on their West Coast roadie. Which may or may not be the beginning of his villain origin story.

[animentality]

[achievement-hunter]

[textandimageenjoyer]

[porcelain-rob0t]

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

[derryderrydown]

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

[politenotice]

[interestingmistakes]

[nongunktional]

ive never wanted to send a death threat over a game before

[nongunktional]

tautological wordle answer

[nongunktional]

[minovskyy]

posts that make you open wordle

[minovskyy]

[chryza]

Oh boy better go try today’s wordle

[chryza]

WHAT THE FUCK

[chryza]

[the-silly-creature]

immediately went to go play wordle after i saw this post

my thoughts:

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[fiollaigean]

how to cover letter:

polite greeting (it's me, boy)

introduction (i'm the ps5)

establish credentials (speaking to you inside your brain)

establish purpose (leave the girl, we don't need her)

describe what you can bring to the organization (cowboy times in space)

[awakenedpotential]

also, if you put the two scenes where shane and ilya watch each other’s interviews together, it’s kind of diabolical. ilya’s upset at shane basically because he’s not acknowledging ilya in interviews and is moving on from whatever they had while shane’s literally keeping up with him and saying things like i’m happy with what i got. shane’s watching ilya on his small phone because it’s his little secret how reluctantly charmed he is by this asshole while ilya’s blown up shane’s face on the tv so that he can detect the minutest cracks in his armor, anything at all when the interviewer says ilya’s name. the difference between ilya’s interview persona and the ilya in the hotel room vs the negligible difference between the shane interview persona and the shane at his place. a dark hotel room vs a home bathed in light. ilya wants to make shane want more for himself, be a bit more greedy. he also just wants another go at trying to subdue shane once and for all by [insert previous sentence here]. he knows that if shane wants, if shane allows himself to be distracted, then he wouldn’t be able to keep that mask of detachment and calm on for much longer. he knows what wanting more than your share does to a person (looks at alexei). he knows what not letting yourself want does to a person (looks at himself).

[damnnmilkovich]

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[caststrat]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[freebagels]

[ironical-sonder]

obligatory fucked up message:

genuinely? I love my friends so much. I love and respect them to a degree that is both profound and completely natural.

like. I fucking love them. I love them so much

[mewvore]

[mewvore]

[steddie-island]

This is about the sexiness of The Golden Girls but I really feel the need to remind the world of how fucking progressive this show was.

In the episode 72 hours, we find out Rose may have contracted AIDs during an emergency gallbladder surgery.

Rose: Why me, Blanche? I'm tired of pretending I feel okay so you won't say, 'Take it easy', and I'm tired of you saying 'Take it easy' because you're afraid I'm going to fall apart. Dammit, why is this happening to me? I mean, this isn't supposed to happen to people like me. You must've gone to bed with hundreds of men. All I had was one innocent operation. Blanche: Hey, wait a minute! Are you saying this should be me and not you? Rose: No! No, I'm just saying that I am a good person. Hell, I'm a goody-two-shoes! Blanche: AIDS is not a bad person's disease, Rose, it is not God punishin' people for their sins!

In Isn't it romantic? we find out Dorothy's childhood best friend is a lesbian who recently lost her partner. She confesses she has feelings for Rose. Rose turns her down but makes it clear that she still wants to be friends even though she doesn't return those feelings.

Sophia: Jean is a nice person. She happens to like girls instead of guys. Some people like cats instead of dogs.

Jean: Rose, about last night. I should never have said anything. Rose: You only said what you were feeling. Jean: It's just that this last year has been so difficult for me. Pat was the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with. And when she died, I just felt so terribly alone. Empty. I thought I could never care for anyone again. Until I met you. I just got very confused. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. Rose: Well, I have to admit that I don't understand these kinds of feelings. But if I did understand, if I were, you know, like you, I'd be very flattered and proud that you thought of me that way.

Ebbtide's Revenge gives us Phil's funeral, and Sophia addressing him wearing women's clothes.

Rose: So what if he was different? It's okay that you loved him. Sophia: I did love him. He was my son, my little boy. But every time I saw him I wondered what I did, what I said, when was the day I did whatever I did to make him the way he was. Angela Petrillo: What he was Sophia, was a good man.

Sister of the Bride, where Blanche's brother Clayton brings his boyfriend to town, because they're planning on getting married.

Blanche: Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know? Sophia: Why did you marry George? Blanche: We loved each other. We wanted to make a lifetime commitment. Wanted everybody to know. Sophia: That's what Doug and Clayton want, too. Everyone wants someone to grow old with. And shouldn't everyone have that chance?

There are so many episodes I could sit here and quote but this show is still so important. It isn't perfect, there are jokes that definitely don't land that I will not sit here and defend, but in the context of when it was created? This show is a fucking masterpiece and deserves respect for that.

[aqueerkettleofish]

And this was during the Reagan/Bush years.

[optimysticals]

I think that this show hit as hard as it did because it was during Reagan/Bush

[daniel-oneiroi]

Season 3, "Dorothy's New Friend."

Her cool, cultured, interesting friend starts to show who she really is when she wants to take Dorothy out to a nice place... but no Jews allowed. This was not uncommon IRL. Perfectly acceptable, even.

I never in my life want to hear about Boomers not being "progressive" ever again.

[bambicoded]

[penandinkprincess]

no but if i think about las vegas too long, i will send ilya to prison in my mind (i love him so much, but you MUST do time for las vegas, king.)

like the way shane was so down to try this out despite it still being a little uncomfy and new because their last sexual experience was SO good. and it IS good! like! it feels good and hot and fun.

because shane thinks they're PLAYING.

like ilya in the bathroom before was softer (still distant, still not the version of himself he was in shane's bed six months ago, but *close*) and nudged him in close and rubbed his fingers along shane's neck and kissed him and teased with him. so like. okay. the want is still there. the Us is still there. he didn't get what he wanted and then no longer had any interest.

which means shane goes into sex being like, "okay. we're trying out a new thing. we checked off vanilla regular sex last time. we're playing a new thing here, and i'm playing, too." (tiny shane smirk when he takes the power back enough to get ilya to give up his power game and fuck him, you will always be famous to me.) and it's good! he's horny as fuck, and ilya being bossy and a little mean is FUN.

BECAUSE he is operating under the idea of Other Ilya being under there, too.

like, okay, no missionary this time. straight to fucking him from behind. but that's okay! ilya did that last time, too, and then he curled up behind shane and snuggled him and kissed him after. he's not kissing shane's shoulders and checking in with him this time, but they're playing! and shane has more experience this time (one (1) time, but hey! counts!), so yeah. of course ilya would be more chill about not asking if he's okay every ten seconds.

but then?? it's over?? and ilya just?? immediately pulls out?? what?? that's not how this goes???

and then ilya sits NEXT to him on the bed?? but doesn't kiss him??? doesn't even??? look at him????

but they're not supposed to be playing anymore??? what happened here???

like that had to be SO fucking confusing. no wonder shane left feeling like shit. he thought ilya was playing, but when shane played back?? he apparently didn't understand the rules???? what did he do wrong?? that's not how they're supposed to do this?? were they not playing?? is this just how they're supposed to do this from now on??? but why???

[penandinkprincess]

like imagine getting this look

and then he fucks you but won't even touch you after

I would have caught a charge