Pixie/Pix

⚠️TW, this is a vent blog⚠️ I’m Pixie/Pix, she/her.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Intro post, I guess:

Hi, I’m Pixie/Pix, or at least that’s what I’ll be calling myself on here.

My pronouns are she/it

I’m a minor.

About me:

- BPD

- Autism

- chronically ill (no idea what but this shit isn’t normal)

- ARFID (eating disorder)

- manipulator (slowly quitting.)

- lyricist (might share short quotes)

Blanket tws for the blog (I’ll tw individually but I might not get everything):

- toxicity

- mental illness

- self hate

- codependency

- negativity

- possible talk of suicidal and self destructive tendencies (always properly tagged, I am not an active danger to myself)

- violence (romanticized, always hypothetical)

- edgy shit

This is a vent blog and will have an overall negative outlook, however I am very much pro recovery and I am working on my own improvement.

⚠️Please block me rather than reporting, I’m not hurting anyone and this is a helpful outlet for me.⚠️

I want to add that personality disorders do NOT make someone a bad person. I’m a bad person, that’s not my personality disorder’s fault.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

hihi i have a song i wanr to show you i hope thats okay : )

hero by mili

spotify link https://open.spotify.com/album/7Hm0wL5VVcsVhi0aUtae4A

yourube link https://youtu.be/ZuifkacZ0TA

amazon link https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0DJFR2MMM

srry if you use something else 💔 its quite all over the place which i find both relatable and fun to listen to and i like the tonal shifts

tysm🙏

Ooohh, that’s a fun song! Thanks for the recommendation anon :)

[itspixthecrazybitch]

hihi:)

Hiii!

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Please please someone come take care of me the way i take care of everyone I love. Why don’t I deserve it? I don’t wanna hurt anymore. I wanna be held. The only one who’s ever comforted me properly is Death herself. Ever since I was a little kid I comforted myself with the fact that Death was always an option. That She was always there, ready to take me into her arms when it got too much. I yearn for her so deeply. I miss her. I want to hear her voice again. I want to feel her presence. Please come take me, my one true beloved, please.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

I’m gonna throw up my parents got in a fight and I can’t see any way that it’s gonna end and I’ve already been so exhausted and all I wanna do tonight is stay up all night, clean my room so they don’t find me in a disgusting reminder of how useless I was, and kill myself by morning. But me and my girlfriend made plans to meet irl today and she just texted me “I love you” out of the blue and I want that future so bad but it feels so far away and I hurt so bad and I can’t take it.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone I don’t want to be your second choice, I do so much to make you happy and make you feel loved and I never upset you but you choose that fucking asshole why? Just because you know him irl? I don’t want to talk to you

[itspixthecrazybitch]

“Do you wanna call later when I get home?”

Idk maybe I don’t want to be constantly available just sitting here hoping you finally feel like talking to me

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Now, life update aside.

Tell me why MY girlfriend has spent the whole day hanging out with her shitty best friend who’s not even nice to her and has barely texted me when I’m soooooo much better to her.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Little life update: I have a girlfriend now!! I’ve been doing pretty well aside from just being exhausted.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

“I trust you.” I said. “Just this once.” I silently added.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Procrastination is so dumb.

Ahhhhh I have too many things to do so I have to do nothing

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Did anyone else have that thing where they figured out how to mask and immediately convinced themself that they were an evil manipulative genius because they were acting different to make people like them and it worked? And they like. Unlocked the ability to intentionally influence other people’s emotions and opinions of them.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Ugh I keep having to stop myself from telling her I love her because we haven’t said it yet

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Anyways despite the cryptic ex posting I’m falling in looooveeee

[itspixthecrazybitch]

It’s comforting to know, that you can leave, you can move on. And sure, maybe you don’t love me anymore, maybe you never will. But you will never be loved the way I loved you again. And you will spend your whole life craving it.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

Update on what I just posted. I already know how to do a girl voice it seems. It just feels unnatural. So voice training is out lol.

[itspixthecrazybitch]

I’m afab and mostly cis but my voice is really deep for a cis girl. Like, get mistaken for a guy routinely in voice chats deep. It’s always been a pretty big insecurity for me. I’m thinking about starting feminizing voice training but idk if it’s a good idea. I don’t wanna like, appropriate anything 😭