One For the Road @jaden-wolf - Tumblr Blog

Hindsight is always 20/20

I know I never post anymore but I just had to tell y’all

My grandparents anniversary was the other day and when they woke up in the morning my Grampa apparently rolled over, looked at my Gramma and said “I think I’m a saint”

But then when I asked my gramma just after she told me that that I thought it was amazing that two so very different people could be married for so long she answered “it’s because I’m a saint.”

I wonder how our air pollution has been this past year because I feel like we’ve had far more clear days than hazy ones

It’s wonderful

#pollution #air pollution #toronto #climate change

catchymemes

#Tetrischallenge

Swiss police department started a challenge, to show what is in their vehicle. Soon a lot off other public services joined in.

newrider

wamscoastsmoker

IT’S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

notsocialphobixanymorelmao-deac

I T S T H E M I D D L E O F J U N E

wamscoastsmoker

I T I S H A L L O W E E N T I M E T O G E T S P O O K Y

pwhyxco

ok who the fuck got this on my dash it’s still june

wamscoastsmoker

get spooky

tshifty

how does this appear every june

honeybeeavenue

@nooowestayandgetcaught

brittany-murphy

maverlok

So if my students finish a quiz/test early, I ask them to draw me stuff on the back (partly so those who need more time are less self-conscious about still having the test out, partly because fuck yeah, pictures), and it may be the single best decision of my career.

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve told these kids that (a) the Romans believed there were demons in their public toilets and (b) the word for “janitor” comes from “ianitor”, which means “(door) guard”.

So now I’m getting drawings of superhero janitors taking on toilet demons, and it’s so beautiful.

maverlok

Aaaaand today a student showed me a video of himself lighting a fire in his toilet while chanting the conjugation of the word “to be”.

He said he wanted to recreate the ancient toilet demons, and I have concerns.

interrobang-incorporated

K… but why conjugations of to be?

maverlok

My students kept forgetting how to conjugate esse, so I turned it into a rhythmic chant that I had them say over and over. The problem is that when you chant ANYTHING in Latin it sounds like you’re summoning a demon, which they decided was awesome, so uh. Now I’ll just be randomly walking through the hallway and hear voices chanting, “sum es est! sumus estis sunt!”

I’m 99% sure my colleagues think I’ve started a cult.

kianahsaro

Keep doing what you’re doing. I’m sure everyone will turn out all the better for it.

neurodivergent-crow

Demons?? In my toilet?? It’s more likely than you th

katswenski

rotfae

A cunning vampire door-to-door salesperson who stands in people’s doorways and talks until they can find a convenient moment to drop their pen and the person picks it up and the vampire says oh “Thank you” and the person says “you’re welcome” and the vampire smiles a big fangy grin and steps inside And that’s this vampire’s modus operandi for decades And then the language starts to change and suddenly millenials have homes and the vampire thanks them and they say “oh, no problem” and the vampire is like ???????????????? this was not the plan

kermiehere

Millineals Are Killing the Vampire Industry

odin-n-out

honestly the most unbelievable part of this is where millenials can afford to own homes

$cliffracer blog's avatar$

cliffracer

the second most unbelievable part of this is millenials answering their front doors for people they didnt know were coming over

clodiuspulcher

all my teachers in high school: college will be INFINITELY harder than high school, they will show you NO mercy my professor for my senior-level immunology class:

animals-lovers

(Source)

rhv

seduce me with ur history knowledge

simaraknows

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

danray002-deactivated20241205

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

lapisbitch

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

sirl33te

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

verysadskeleton

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

stitch-n-time

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

kanthia

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

spockyykins

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

obaewankenope

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

nat-20s

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

aphony-cree

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

naphula

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

givemeunicorns

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler) nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

queerstorian

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

afewreelthoughts

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

superherofeed

Oh my god, these world class fencers are having a LIGHTSABER DUEL.

piperderg-deactivated20221106

@drakenflagreon

systlin

good shit gOOOD SHIT

matryoshkaroderich-deactivated2

@fox-king-vincent

thebestoftumbling

recalcitrantquibblings

I can’t believe how easily you all abandon the Halloween spirit just because its November now. The way I see it, Halloween isn’t over until you’re forced to take off the skeleton mask because its making your little cousin cry at Thanksgiving dinner.