Open Up Late Bloomer @jennydiane - Tumblr Blog

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

iapislazuli

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

iapislazuli

Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything

afeelgoodblog

Good for him

isuggestfuckingme

Intense flex I wish I had his sauce

cannibalchicken

hi-raethia

underrated form of humor: just making shit up in past tense

professionalchaoticdumbass

amkotheterrible-deactivated2023

This dude asleep in a pants

modernbaseball

Naming the female razor brand Venus is so personally offensive to me....you think Venus the goddess of love and sex and beauty was shaving her PUSSY? Go kill yourself

lakevida

cool pic from my brother

afterword

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

wahoo-shem

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

depsidase

as-seenon-tv

I’ve never met Chris Pratt but I trust him

heritageposts

date of origin: 8th of august, 2014.

theinternetismywilltolive

Glow up

bidoof

Change.org - Petition To Hire 1,000,000 People To Put Their Fingers In The Shoot Hole Of Peoples’ Guns So They Can’t Shoot Them

mycatisnamedfrank

It’s still gonna shoot… And they’re gonna lose a finger

bidoof

No. The finger blocks the bullet. We can do this

domozillla-deactivated20181216

This is a gun we’re talking about. The projectile is fired using an explosion, not by compressed air of a toy gun or the elastic forces of a sling shot. People would be lucky if they only lost their finger.

bidoof

The finger blocks it

dildomuncher3000

The finger won’t block it - the shaft is only there for keeping the bullet straight, all the propulsion happens behind the bullet. The bullet would rip through the finger, not that many would actually fit without the victim being a child, and beyond.

bidoof

The bullet would go forward a little and then hit the finger and stop it’s not that hard to understand

fifty-percent-possessed-deactiv

People are going to lose their hands. Go watch Mythbusters. They did an episode on this, the hand fucking exploded.

hungwy

No, the bullet would start to go but stop at the finger. Thats basic physics. Also hands dont explode normally they did something wrong.

blipblerp

Why the dingleknockers would you even consider sticking your finger in the barrel of a loaded gun?? the amount of force propelling the bullet at that close of range would shatter the finger at the very least; this is a petition for 1,000,000 people to loose the use of their hands. If a bullet explodes the back of a persons skull when they shoot it in their mouth it sure as hell will explode a finger.

gorps

No the finger would stop it

joryboi

I’m loving the idiocy of this post.

Ppl with brains: ummm finger go boom…

Others: no bullet stop. U no kno fisics >:V

foulserpent

no the finger would stop it

indianworiorprincess-blog

You guy who think the bullet would stop at the finger have never shot a gun and can volunteer to it their fingers in the barrel of my 9 mil and I’ll I’ll the trigger and see if it will stop the bullet. Dumdasses

foulserpent

the finger would stop it

heritageposts

date of origin: 28th of december, 2015.

lobotomycas

the other day one of my coworkers halfway referenced the spiders georg post but stopped before he actually reached the spiders georg part. like. I can't be sure that that's what he was doing but one coworker said "yknow. people swallow several spiders every year" and my other coworker said "well that's just- it's not true. it's a- no, you'd wake up" and just. there was a look in his eyes. I just know

lobotomycas

waging psychological warfare against one of my team leads starting tomorrow

homosozialismus

why the fuck does kimberly get less coffee

get rid of jeffrey and keep his mug

satanicdemona-deactivated201509

This is the perfect visual metaphor for heterosexuality.

0ptimistic-s0ci0path

dont gays have a power bottom thing? not everything is an attack against women. its supposed to be the moon and the sun. a super old ancient metaphor for men and women since forever. is it an equal metaphor? no i suppose not, since without the sun the moon doesnt shine. its old fashioned which doesnt agree with modern notions of equality necessarily but its a sweet old fashioned thought. the sun shines for the moon and makes its beauty known to the whole world. the sun doesnt hide the moon or demand anything from the moon, it just glorifies everything about it.which is how a man should be in a relationship: a sun to brighten the moon.