juno's diary

what once was a writing blog has now devolved into something more sinister…

[dntat-makesthings]

If our boy Shane Hollander was diagnosed.

[filthyjanuary]

my final heated rivalry thought of the night is i do genuinely think it exists in this weird space of requiring you to both be a hockey fan and not know anything about hockey. schrodinger's hockey fan. you need to know about hockey because half the stakes aren't really explained to you at all. see: hockey culture/homophobia. see: the montreal-boston rivalry's unique significance. etc. but you also need to not know anything about hockey because if you do then you look at the long game and go: montreal would not do that. ottawa would also not do that. also why are the 1oa and 2oa going to world juniors twice. why is no one throwing hands at ilya for being that close to their injured captain on the ice.

[junokeeps]

this but as for the last one (no one throwing hands at Ilya) I actually think it nicely foreshadows what the metros will eventually do to Shane in TLG. Even after watching their CAPTAIN go down, no one on the team shows any sort of reaction except Hayden. Shane was their captain but they did not feel any sense of brotherhood with or protectiveness over him so was it really that surprising they turned on him?

[shieldofiron]

Sing it with me!!!

[meret118]

the rice purity test by strandnreyes

Summary: When The Rice Purity Test gets brought up in the locker room, Ilya makes it Captain's orders to learn everyone's score. Shane doesn't expect this stupid quiz to lead to learning more about each other’s past.

[blacksheepcolorfulskin]

Ilya and Shane’s son brings a girl home and Ilya makes a big production of pretending to be incensed that that his son is straight. (“I told you we never should’ve let him be around Hayden!”) Shane keeps whacking him in the arm telling him to knock it off but can’t help laughing. Their son is just rolling his eyes and apologizing to his girlfriend who is finding it all hysterical. She then tells them she’s actually bi and Ilya gives her a big dramatic hug. “Finally he brings a nice girl home!”

[aslongasitsblack]

kristen stewart at hooters but its pre-out shane with like volunteer firefighters at the metros stadium

[puppilya]

dating shane hollander headcanons (fem!reader)

- the sex is bad

- he leaves you for ilya rozanov

[aphantasias]

shane's visible lust for ilya in that goofy ass florida shirt just singlehandedly threw me back into my hr hyperfixation. he was starving for that man lmfao

[smokingrozanov]

In my mind there’s a guy who went to high school with Shane who realized he was gay because Hot Jock Shane Hollander once smiled politely at him and picked up the pencil he’d just dropped & handed it back to him. & suddenly all this guy can think about is pretty brow eyes & freckles & that sweet little smile. & yeah he has some jerk off fantasies about blowing Shane in their high school’s locker room while Shane is panting about how they can’t get caught, but to him they’re JUST fantasies, because Hollander is obviously straight.

Cut to 10 years later he’s seeing headlines like “SHANE HOLLANDER GAY” and “SHANE HOLLANDER GETS TRADED TO OTTAWA CENTAURS” and he never really looks into it beyond that, but he does promise himself if he EVER saw Shane Hollander in public he would make a move on him. & really it’s just another fantasy of his, except one day he’s out at the bar & there Shane is with all of his teammates. His smile is still pretty & polite & the freckles look especially dark in this bar’s lighting. So he orders two shots of something & marches over to Shane full prepared to have to reintroduce himself, but then Shane is looking at him & saying his name & laughing going “holy shit, I haven’t seen you since graduation!” & the guy is like. Fucking jackpot. He remembers me! So he sets the shots down & puts on his most charming smile & says something about how he wanted to welcome his favorite classmate back to Ottawa. He pushes the shot towards Shane but suddenly it’s getting snatched by a giant hand. & the guy is about to make a bitchy comment to whoever took it but then he looks & it’s an equally giant, extremely hot dude. Who is downing the shot like it’s nothing. Then he’s pressing himself into Shane’s side & asking who his new friend is. & Shane is blushing so prettily & explaining that they went to school together before he tells the guy that Giant Hot Dude is his HUSBAND Ilya. & right when the guy is about to force some polite conversation & then find a way out of this humiliation ritual Ilya is like “well, Shane is coming to dance with me now. Thank you for the drink.” & Shane looks mortified but when Ilya pulls on his hand he goes. & this poor guy just has to sit at the bar & watch as Ilya grinds against his Gay Revelation

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

Fine. FINE!!! Yes, the rumours are true: I wanna read a hollanov hazing fic where they get psychosexual with it, but they juuust skirt the boundaries of hockey propriety so they get away with it.

[sendinglovefromtheotherside]

Guys I need fic recs of people being shocked about how much of a freak Shane is.

[silverssorrysoul]

ok i got u and @fandomobssessed57

“I may be bad (but I'm perfectly good at it)”

5 times someone's shocked to learn that Shane's a little freaky, +1 time someone isn't.

and “lost in translation” by @gurlsrool

The Centaurs' newest rookie speaks Russian. It's too bad that Shane and Ilya don't know that.

“pretty boring” by goldengalaxies

4 times shane was less boring than people thought. including hickeys, never have i ever, being in the room next door to them at a hotel, and a russian rookie.

“Off the Record” by tintatalk

When drunken game of Never Have I Ever reveals more than Ilya ever expected, the entire league discovers there’s more to golden boy Shane Hollander than anyone realised.

“odd man rush” a two-parter by @boestie

Shane and his sex life from the outside.

“crossfire” by makemegentle

In 2014, Ilya and Marleau went to Paris on a girl to celebrate the Stanley Cup win. Ten years later, on a balmy evening spent in the Hollander-Rozanov Ottawa home, Marleau reminisces and, courtesy of Shane and Ilya, re-enacts.

“Gossip Girl” by @Northisnotup

(at this point i’m gonna rec this fic every day until the day i die)

This is mostly a series of vignettes focusing on Shane's friendships with Rose, Jackie and Hayden, in that order.

[themoonandmyman]

There’s no way on gods green earth that Ilya didn’t jack off for stamina before fucking Shane for the first time. He was in his hotel room bricked up at the mere thought of what was going to happen that night, of course he’s cumming all over himself in the shower and gritting out ‘fuck, hollander’ aloud to himself in the empty room. and then rocking up to Shane’s fuckpad cool as a cucumber. you big faker. if he hadn’t he would have blown his load 20 seconds after sliding in for the first time.

[breakingb4tz]

not everything is about you, hollander.

[hr-rep]

Shane when his parents ask him what Ilya just said to him in Russian

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Shane getting asked what Ilya just said and repeating it also in Russian

[elslittlestories]

😚 Hollanov kisses compilation 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

All the kisses from season 1 in less than 8 minutes. You're welcome 😘

[raincitygirl76]

I found it! The kissing edit that I’d tried to reblog and then lost. Isn’t it great?

[fortysomethingwolfbird]

40

[gurlsrool]

A thought I had while high as hell last night: so as we know, in canon, Ilya is #uncut (of course). So WHAT IF Hollywood blowjob guy was cut and Shane’s kinda like “oh…huh…” and he finds himself missing the foreskin and Ilya’s dick is like haunting the narrative

Being Shane, he becomes something of a dick anthropologist comparing and contrasting. He realizes he LOVES sucking uncut dick more for reasons that must be totally unrelated to Ilya himself. But oh no…Shane’s cut! What if Ilya doesn’t like that? he ends up asking Ilya about his preference/thoughts on the matter and Ilya crashes out so hard that it makes the rose landry era look like a trip to disney world