Call me Adam because I ruin everything

[that-one-idiot-11]

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

[briannyssey]

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

[zenaidasden]

Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor

[pancakeke]

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

[pancakeke]

[pancakeke]

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

[mangonetics]

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

[pancakeke]

OKAY FINE JESUS

[pancakeke]

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong

[nociceptrix]

Shall I compare thee to some shit that's gay?

[cleo-fox]

Writing tips:

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context

“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets

[maple-seed]

Both options convey that he's horny

[cleo-fox]

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

[notlikingbestgirl]

Out of Touch

[hustlerose]

Out of Touch Thursday

[arbyscurlyfries666-deactivated2]

OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY

[snuv]

but im out of my head when you’re not around…

[rockmilkshake]

happy birthday.

[saltwatersweets]

this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this

[zoesupreme]

[legoisland]

I hate you.

[legoisland]

every time this goes around I age 10 years

[playthings2007]

20 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Swinging in the backyard pull up in your fast car whistling my name. 21 Open up a beer and you say get over here and play a video game. 22 I'm in his favorite sundress watchin me get undressed take that body downtown. 23 I say you the bestest lean in for a big kiss put his favorite perfume on. 24 Go play your video game"

[reddherring777]

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

[metal-autistic-coven]

Hang on let me translate something real quick

[metal-autistic-coven]

Yeah this is funny

[reddherring777]

[postcard-from-the-past]

Crab Restaurant in Dagupan City, Philippines

Filipino vintage postcard

[mynonsenseistingling]

It is abandoned and currently looks like this.

[durnesque-esque]

The sleeping beast hungers...

[absolutelyzoned]

guy who really likes bagels: hmmm... i bagely remember that...

[nnathxns-corner]

has this been made before

[undefeated-dejarik-champion]

My brothers @wrecking-ball-99 and @exceptionally-minded!

[medievalsquire]

apparently i was supposed to be networking at the kings feasts instead of. idk. eating the best and most food i've had in my life

[jennydreadful]

Sous La Glace, Georges Leonnec for La Vie Parisienne, 1926

The caption is a little fuzzy, but I think the meaning is “Has the Parisienne become economic? You see a lot less panties this year!” :D

[loth-caatgirl]

youre becoming part of this post @18-1-9

[jurassisoutofthisworld]

I could end it all and no one would even notice that I was gone. People do not want me around

[c3po]

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

[effemimaniac]

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact