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@just-another-alter-blog
Hi, I'm Erwin (he/him). I'm an alter in the @chemicalcarousel system 👋💖
Me in bullet points 🌼💕
Name: Erwin Pronouns: he/him Gender: man Age: late 30s (age slides to a child sometimes) Orientation: aroace-spec bi System role: ex co-host, trauma holder, depression holder
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#it's erwin - my posts @chemicalcarousel - system blog @unstablemotions - mental health blog
More about me under the cut:
i have a suggestion
The original flag, by Gilbert Baker, June 25, 1978. www.instagram.com/eddysonline
Good things about not being dormant: strawberry milkshake 🍓🥛💕
Bad things about not being dormant: flashback flashback flashback flashback
Not me typing out a question and having to continuously delete how I'm constantly apologising for asking a simple question 😭
Ok so I know my role is technically a "self hate holder", but that does NOT feel good to see spelled out on our system tracking app ok that's deleted now thank you very much!!!
this is just a thought, not a careful conclusion i have come to after looking thoroughly at the evidence: when theres studies on the effects of cbt and have people self report their opinion on the effectiveness and such, i have to wonder. because if i am correct in that cbt is essentially just thought reform to make people more positive, wouldn't they then go on to give a positive opinion on cbt ???????????????????? like come on now. if you are successfully taught to make yourself more positive by cbt, then it is likely that you will report positive effects from cbt 😐. thats what the cbt taught you to do.
That’s makes sense, cause this made me think of self-identified “ex-gays” who say that the conversion therapy that they went through was good and think positively of it.
And most (decent) people would understand this to be brainwashing. So if we can understand that, why can’t people understand that cbt can do it too?
CBT is perscribed for so many fucking things how do you even measure a sucess state. Its perscribed for making people feel better about physical pain, for depression, for anxiety, for personality disorders, for trauma, for ongoing traumatic situations that havent ended, the list is literally endless. How can you quantify "it helped people"? and yet "studies have proven its effective in all cases."
So yeah, i think theres some merit to that, because if the question you're asking is "does this make you feel better" and the therapy is "forces you to reframe your situation so you focus on positive things and describe them in positive ways" then of course it "makes you feel better." Cbt is a pancea because it takes people who are feeling bad and makes them more able to express that they feel better and less able to express that they feel other ways.
For instance one of my biggest beefs with cbt is that it's perscribed for people with chronic physical pain of all kinds. The thinking behind this is that people in pain "focus on their pain too much" and if they "Thought more positively" they would have less pain.
CBT tells you "instead of thinking 'I am in pain and thats bad' (the truth) instead think 'today i can manage my pain' (possibly a lie, and not the problem)" or something to that effect. This hasn't changed anything, this is taking your reality, and shifting it so that you "focus on something different" so you will not have negative feelings anymore. It tells you "it is bad to think about how upset your pain makes you, it is bad to acknowledge your pain or think about how this is unfair or hold anyone else responsible, like someone who is denying you pain treatment. Instead, focus on some other aspect of your life."
We can not measure someone's pain in any study really, we can only ask them if they are in more or less pain after they've gone through some kind of treatment. After a treatment like this, where someone is told over and over that it is a negative thing to think about being in pain, of course they will probably rate their pain as lower than it actually is. Their pain experienced has likely not actually decreased in any way, they've just been told its not a very nice thing to talk about.
And thats how you get studies that show "cbt improves pain outlook" because people with chronic pain are rating their pain as less bad, or they are more positive about it. Because instead of thinking "this sucks, i hate my pain" they are thinking "what a beautiful sunrise, i can get through the day :)" because thats what society wants of them and makes them easier to manage. Which, personally, I think is fucking evil.
i agree. thats what i was thinking too. also like, cbt in psychiatric settings for explicit psychiatric purposes is bad enough but yeah it is really disturbing to see it being used on disabled ppl. which just adds another reason of dozens that makes me think its just. its really just thought reform. the premises of it are sketchy if not outright false (thoughts causing feelings? as opposed to feelings causing thoughts because the thoughts are attempts to describe the feelings? duh?), and it is not addressing any root causes of any problems because its entire argument is that basically.... you dont have problems. problems arent actually real, your problem is that you think you have problems. so we need to make you believe you just dont have problems. and then people become messed up and horrified like me. like that thing i talked about a while back about the """"side effects"""" of cbt being basically signs of being psychologically tortured in my opinion!
its another iteration of "it's all in your mind". which explains why for someone like me who had extremely real and Bad problems, it didnt work and also hurt me more :^) so yeah you made a good example of what i was saying. how can you measure the success of a program thats intended and expressed purpose is to make people more likely to claim success? and also its thought reform. not any actual real help. which is why i hate it so much.
No it really is funny to me when people get so outraged when you suggest it's brainwashing and gaslighting. Cbt is telling you to think new thoughts because your old thoughts are bad and negative, even if your old thoughts are explictly the truth. That is brainwashing and gaslighting. That is purposefully fucking with someone's sense of reality. It assumes that 1) your sense of reality is wrong, 2) that your reality must be tampered with for your benefit and 3) the new version of your reality is good and correct.
If you think "i don't like my living situation, the people in my life are mean" cbt is incapable of affirming that belief as true in anyway, even if it is. Instead, cbt needs to find a reason your thoughts are flawed and need to be changed in some way to improve your situation. The situation can never be outside of your control, and your reaction can never be reasonable to the situation. The only thing cbt is capable of doing is telling you to think something different, because thats what its designed to do.
And when confronted about this, people will lie to you and tell you it does something different, or try to give it a new spin. "No no, cbt is not trying to tell you its YOUR fault you're in a bad situation, its just telling you to focus on what you CAN control!" But the only thing cbt can change is your reality, by framing it more positively.
I was reading a study on the way people use cbt to gaslight help chronic pain patients, and their testimonials are exactly what you describe—people who are talking like they've been brainwashed. Mind over matter, "you just THINK you have problems" but you see, pain is all in your mind and this is giving patients back their autonomy so they can live "normal" lives.
Patient 19 “I was only thinking about getting someone to do something or having something like the hospital or medicine have some effect to get the pain intensity down to zero, but then I was taught CBT, and this showed me how to control the pain mentally, so...I had to do it... yeah. “
Patient 8 “It became easier now that I understand the nature of pain. I always knew that chronic pain was painful, but I was told that this is what causes it and that it would be better to avoid it this way, so even if I could not avoid it 100%, it has become easier. I guess you would say I now know how to deal with it (the pain).”
Patient 15 “I have come to think that I can live a normal life even if I am in some pain... In terms of taking the pain away, I think that having some pain is ok...I can live with that.....”
Patient 3 “It’s troublesome to be alive; they say there’s no way to fix the pain, and it won’t go away.”
Integrated findings show that patients summarized their impressions of therapy as positive, regardless of whether their pain improved or worsened (Fig. 3). There were many patients who claim that CBT is not effective yet maintain high expectations for success in the future and claim CBT to be satisfactory; this disparity is ambiguous and requires further investigation in the future.
This study has a tiny sample size and isnt generally very good for a lot of reasons, but the testimonials and the way cbt is described as "useful" and "sucessful" really stuck out to me. The patients have not been given any real treatment for their pain, they have been put in a brainwashing regiment that tells them they can have autonomy if they only think of the pain in a different way where they take back control and focus on the positive. They all have positive feelings about their pain after cbt even if they don't think it works aka it does shit for them, which is something you'd think would raise ethical concern, but doesn't.
Cbt is the psych darling rght now for everything. Why address an actual problem that might cause or aggravate a mental health issue or disability, like an abusive situation or poverty, or give someone actual treatment at all when you can just convince them they just need to think better thoughts. In fact, its a much better solution because it makes them easier to deal with, more pliable and agreeable and less angry or willing to stand up for themselves. If all of their problems are their own thinking, it can never be someone's else's doing.
I believe in you <3
It's DID Awareness Day (March 5)!
Nowadays, a lot of people have heard about Dissociative Identity Disorder, but even though that's the case, most people still don't seem to actually understand what this condition is other than "it's when you got multiple personalities". DID is so much more complex than "having multiple people in one body", and I'd love if more folks knew about this!
There's already too many people trying to educate on what DID is without having the credentials to do so, so I will instead refer to other educators for anyone interested in learning more about DID. For this, I highly recommend checking out did-research.org or The CTAD Clinic on youtube! Both of these resources are made by specialists in complex trauma and dissociation and are communicated in a way that is fairly easy to understand
Oh, and to all the people out there with DID, I wish you a great day! <3
what the fuck did i do SO wrong that i have to feel like this for the rest of my life
basically i have to stay silly bc the other option is death
caption by @/ashleytheebarroness on tiktok: People reach for the Gestapo comparison because it sounds extreme and foreign. It lets white Americans pretend this kind of policing came from somewhere else. But ICE looks closer to slave patrols because that's our history. Local enforcement. Racialized suspicion. Vague authority. Taking people first, justifying it later. Gestapo is a warning. Slave patrols are a mirror.
professionally diagnosed with people treated me like absolute shit so now I'm mentally fucked for life disorder
The discussions around the murder of Renee Good are such a clear case study for the need for intersectional frameworks. There are lots of claims that she is the “first US citizen killed by ICE” which not only is not true, she is not even the first of 2026. There is both a massive erasure of the victims before her, and an erasure of Renee’s own identity and connections that made her a more acceptable target for both murder and smearing.
Everyone MUST contend with:
1. US citizens are falsely labeled as non-citizens or had their citizenship “stripped” and are deported and then sometimes killed elsewhere
Nearing 100 days in office, the Trump administration continues to push further on its immigration crackdown by deporting families and target
Denaturalization is a tactic heavily used during the McCarthy era and one that was expanded during the Obama administration and grew further
It's illegal for immigration officials to detain U.S. citizens. But an NPR analysis of public records found that in an eight-year period, so
The government does not track how often immigration agents grab citizens. So ProPublica did. Our tally — almost certainly incomplete — inclu
2. US citizens, Lawful Permanent Residents (LPRs), are “deported” to places they have never lived and are at the mercy of new countries, sometimes those that will kill them or imprison them again
3. Lawful Permanent Residents are killed in custody
The Canadian who died while in custody of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement had several health concerns in the weeks leading up to hi
4. US citizens are disappeared from their homes and record of them is lost
5. Native Americans born and raised on these lands with US documents are placed into legal limbo and killed and imprisoned and sometimes deported to places they have never visited let alone lived in
A Native American woman from Arizona was nearly deported by federal immigration officials after a clerical error at the Polk County Jail. Th
6. US citizens killed on US soil or abroad taking peaceful action against an armed oppressor if not attacked going about their days, are routinely distanced from their citizenship, when it serves the narrative
Palestine: (Saif Musallet, 20; Tawfic Abdel Jabbar, 17, Mohammad Alkhdour, 17; Aysenur Eygi, 26; Amer Rabee, 14)
7. Renee was a queer woman with a masc wife and her identity is being used as justification for her murder and proof of her “corruption” when it isnt completely omitted outright
8. Renee’s wife’s identity and attitude is also being used to justify Renee’s murder
9. Renee was politically vocal and is being held up as proof of “left-wing extremism”
Say_Qis discussing queer identity at play in the killing
Good was survived by her wife and children.
10. Renee is being labeled a domestic terrorist using language, ordinances, and memos that have been coming out for a long while
Yesterqueers dive into The Palmer Raids
Biden’s strategy fails to address the wrongs, let alone reverse them.
The Right Is Lying About Left-Wing Violence
Global Anti-Anarchism: The Origins of ideological Deportation and the Suppression of Expression
Documenting Red Scare Deportees
Renee is the latest in a long line of murders and violence that will continue on, and it is crucial to understand that no this is not new, yes it is just as important to care about nonwhite citizens and non-citizens of all races, yes your legal status and loyalty will be called into question once you are dead and it helps no one to make excuses for why the murder is legal, yes “it could happen to (you)” but understand why it hasn’t—what makes you different—and as the differences get smaller and smaller, recognize when is the time to do something about it
(limited by tumblr for how many links i can include)
