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[justalostsoulman]

This dark feeling is different in the sense that I’m not feeling anything. I’m not numb yet I feel like I’ve given up. And I’ve accepted it.

[justalostsoulman]

I like to sit and wonder what it would be like to have a normal brain and not one that is constantly trying to kill me.

[justalostsoulman]

Got a bit too confident and thought I had a good grasp on my mental illness… until it was time to wean off of the medication that has kept me sane for 10 years to try something else. I did NOT miss these thoughts.

Damn it gets real dark in here.

Especially when it’s at the time where my relationship is falling apart, a called off wedding, and now looking for a new place to live.

Wish me luck ✌🏼 I don’t know if I’ll make it through this

[thearmyofgrunge]

[justalostsoulman]

I have not felt this alone and isolated in years..

[chasingokay]

Damn I feel that.

[justalostsoulman]

Healing sucks.

But I want my life back.

[justalostsoulman]

After almost 7 months of sobriety I decided to go back to therapy.

I’ve officially been diagnosed with PTSD.

Coming to terms with this has not been easy.

Dealing with this sober has not been easy.

So I’m beginning the journey that is healing.

What a weird year it’s been.

[justalostsoulman]

I don’t know where I’m meant to be but I don’t think it’s here.

I want to be back out among the trees.

[justalostsoulman]

Eating disorders and body dysmorphia are so weird. I’m about to go on a weekend trip to the beach and of course I feel gross and bloated and hate the way I look in my bathing suit… but I’ve lost 2 more pounds since last week. I tried on shorts and bathing suits last week and felt amazing.

[justalostsoulman]

For the first time in my life I comfortably ate a bowl of ice cream while wearing a crop top. This is a big deal for me. Iykyk

[justalostsoulman]

108 days free of alcohol after nearly a decade of alcohol abuse 💪🏼

[justalostsoulman]

Lately the stressful days just seem to blend together and the good days seem few and far between.

So on my birthday, after a 10hr shift at work, I sit in bed and eat a mini Bundt cake for dinner.

[justalostsoulman]

Serious changes happening this year ✌🏼

[justalostsoulman]

I quit smoking about two years and since the chilly change in weather all I want is to get bundled up, get a hot drink, and sit outside and smoke a cig 🖤

[thebookquotes]

“Have you ever had to get through a day, smiling at people, talking, as if everything were normal and okay, while all the the time you felt like you were carrying a leaden weight of unhappiness inside you?”

— Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

[justalostsoulman]

I always feel so at home at a metal festival 🖤

Thankful to be able to get out and attend a concert