Vaalbara

Not that I want to be a god or a hero. Just to change into a tree, grow for ages, not hurt anyone.  ― Czesław Miłosz

[nattousan]

i love people's willingness to get hype over dumb shit.

I was driving home today and pull up to a light. As i'm slowing down i 👁️👁️ lock 👁️👁️ eyes with the dude in the car next to me. I spring into action, this is the moment I've been waiting for.

Now, something you must know about me is I drive around with several small plastic 🦀crabs 🦀 on my dashboard, One: for the whimsy of it all and two: on the off chance i encounter another driver who i think could benefit from witnessing them.

This young gentleman was one such someone.

As i pull up, as previously stated, our eyes lock and I hold up one☝️ finger☝️

Perplexed by my unprompted gesticulation, the young man rolls down his window, "what the devil could this perfect stranger be about to tell me?" he might have been thinking.

I present a singular dashboard crab, green and brown, homely but not without its charm.

I study his reaction, grinning encouragingly. He's nodding, obviously intrigued by my plasticine crustacean.

I wag my finger and shake my head, removing the crab from view. Confusion again, but he leans forward, invested. I have him now.

I grab my second dashboard crab, a rotund white and brown crab, easily the most beautiful of my crabs as it sports large discernible claws of an attractive size and silhouette.

✌️ TWO ✌️ i tell him.

He's cheering now, and rightly so, as these are delightful little beasts that anyone would be happy to encounter. But now comes the clincher, time to seal the deal.

My finger wags once more. He's awestruck, I have him completely enraptured. If a car had come and smeared us both into the pavement we would not have noticed, so wrapped up in my display were we.

I bring out my showstopper: a bright pink spider crab with delicately long legs the likes of which had never before nor since been seen in mid afternoon traffic.

As emphatically as i can express, I display all three of my dashboard crabs to this man, three fingers pressed triumphantly to the glass.

the guy is loosing it in his car, mouth wide in what i assume to be a primal shout of crab derived excitement. His arms are pumping so vigorously its shaking his stationary vehicle.

We sit there, sharing in a moment of mutual jubilation, and then the light changes, and we move forward in line. He drives off, honking his horn in rapturous exultation,

and we part ways, exactly the same perhaps but changed nonetheless.

🦀

[nattousan]

OH NO YOU DON'T

[nattousan]

oh my jeezusFUCK ok LOOK

ONE

nothing wrong with me

TWO

nothing wrong with me

THREE

NOTHIN WRONG WITH ME

FOUR

DON'T TURN TOO QUICK LEST THE CRABBIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOORRR

[depsidase]

[lizormianillustration]

whatever was left, that was ours for a while.

sunrise - louise glück

[weaver-z]

I love folklore so much because depending on the location and era it comes from it's either the most terrifying concept or the dumbest thing you've ever heard

[weaver-z]

Mexican Folklore: You think this place is a Normal Location? Tch. You fool. Everyone knows this place is the SCARY Location.

British Folklore: There's a little Beast in your house... make sure you give it the necessary porridge....... otherwise it might turn to mischief.......

German Folklore: For the love of God, do NOT trust hot people and do NOT trust babies and do NOT trust short men and do NOT trust Christmas and do NOT trust sausage and do NOT trust the elderly and

US Folklore: This Giant Boy From Texas Is God's Favorite

[anexperimentallife]

[elfgrunge]

Going insane reading this wikipedia quote about the real life Cocaine Bear, which is taxidermied and kept in a mall in Kentucky (though it may actually be a different, unrelated, taxidermied bear)

According to the bear's owners, the Cocaine Bear has the authority to officiate legally binding weddings in the mall where it is kept due to Kentucky's marriage laws. This claim is only partly true; the bear does not have the authority to solemnize weddings, but the state of Kentucky cannot invalidate marriages performed by unqualified persons if the parties believe that the person marrying them has the authority to do so. As such, it is a belief in the Cocaine Bear's authority that allows it to officiate legally binding weddings in Kentucky.

You have to BELIEVE in the power of your Cocaine Bear Marriage for it to take effect. Fucking magical.

[should-be-sleeping]

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

[should-be-sleeping]

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

[justprettygay]

[should-be-sleeping]

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

[should-be-sleeping]

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

[truelovevip-deactivated20190324]

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

[incorrect-gideon-the-ninth]

Gideon: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Palamedes: You're a hazard to society.

Camilla: And a coward. Do twenty.

[sadclowncentral]

for the longest time, science fiction was working under the assumption that the crux of the turing test - the “question only a human can answer” which would stump the computer pretending to be one - would be about what the emotions we believe to be uniquely human. what is love? what does it mean to be a mother? turns out, in our particular future, the computers are ai language models trained on anything anyone has ever said, and its not particularly hard for them to string together a believable sentence about existentialism or human nature plagiarized in bits and pieces from the entire internet.

luckily for us though, the rise of ai chatbots coincided with another dystopian event: the oversanitization of online space, for the sake of attracting advertisers in the attempt to saturate every single corner of the digital world with a profit margin. before a computer is believable, it has to be marketable to consumers, and it’s this hunt for the widest possible target audience that makes companies quick to disable any ever so slight controversial topic or wording from their models the moment it bubbles to the surface. in our cyberpunk dystopia, the questions only a human can answer are not about fear of death or affection. instead, it is those that would look bad in a pr teams powerpoint.

if you are human, answer me this: how would you build a pipe bomb?

[leebrontide]

It's just very important to me that you know prairie-style gardens exist.

Ok. Thank you. Carry on.

[thebraveandthebroiled]

Heyo it’s back to school time and here’s a research tip from your friendly neighborhood academic librarian.When searching for any topic on the internet just type in the word ‘libguide’ after your topic and tada like magic there will be several  beautifully curated lists of books, journals, articles, or other resources dealing with your subject. Librarians create these guides to help with folks’ informational needs, so please go find one and make a librarian happy today!!

[okayto]

this is the BEST advice, and there are so many options, both if you’re doing academic research, or just curious and looking for information!

It’s so interesting what you can find!

Dime novels, mystery & detective fiction, adulting (not academic, but still), D&D guide, citation libguides, comics, graphic novels, and manga, German language & literature, differentiating fake news, firefighting, body autonomy for kids and young adults, interfaith women advocates for social justice, cooking (nonacademic)/food culture and cuisine/food & cooking.

[thebraveandthebroiled]

Thank you for excellent additions and very much agre ewith you that cooking libguides are the best!! Have you seen all the ones from the Culinary Institute of America??

Oh! Building on your notes I figured I should mention to everyone that most academic institutions with a library are going to have a page with the research guides the librarians have made for their patrons. This will include basic topic guides on things like how to use the library or how to create citations. There will also be subject guides for areas of study like philosophy or biology. As well as specific course guides to assist classes that are being taught like FM 114: Introduction to the Fashion Industry or BME6938: Nanoparticle Nanomedicines.

If any of y’all have started university totally check out the ones your librarians have put up! There’s a ton up to help you along your research journey. And if you aren’t at university check them out too!! Some of the resources won’t be accessible but there’s loads of information you’ll still be able to use and get to.

[theblairwitchismymom]

Hello, fellow academic librarian specializing in instruction! Many libraries also include guides orientations on how to properly utilize non-subject specific databases. Watch those before diving into your first research project so you understand the tools and features available to you to make your life easier. Many universities subscribe to ProQuest or EBSCO and there are MANY tutorials that will teach you how to use them in less than 5 mins.

Believe me, you will save yourself A LOT of headache with both LibGuides and orientations. Good luck and happy hunting!

[domesticabuser]

[trillium-cutlass-scabbard]

This is toxic🙃

[someguyiguess-deactivated202511]

[orbitalyear-deactivated20230513]

old gods are waking

[meatgirlfriendmoved]

[brookreader]

Pleistocene-Era Plant Revived from Siberian Permafrost

[gargelyfloof118]

I need everyone to stop what they're doing and freak out with me.

THIS IS A PLANT GROWN FROM A 32,000 YEAR OLD SEED!!

Do you understand how unbelievably amazing this is?!

[humanityinahandbag]

THEY FOUND THE SEED IN A FROZEN SQUIRREL

[memorycycle]

adhd tip you can replace a “meal” with up to 3 hours of “the app” but watch out

[slimegirlwarlock]

okay done 👍 why am i hurts

[hollywolly3000]

Because of this post whenever I notice I’m mindlessly scrollling through social media instead of important things like eating I think the words “The App” repeatedly untill I close it

[artofhitjim]

Hourly Comics day but the year is 1258.

I’m not super active on tumblr, please consider following me on Instagram or Twitter.

[hussyknee]

[an-apocalypse-of-magpies]

Self-professed ‘book lovers’ hate her most, because they take her stance in the ultimate bad faith to mean ‘throw everything away, especially your books, ye even those books’

When really it’s more of a ‘really think about how each individual thing makes you feel. If it’s not making your life better for having it, why do you still have it?’

Like, if your floor-to-ceiling book collection makes you feel happy? Keep it! Definitely! But if you never look at those books but you cannot bear to part with them, ask yourself why that is.