KamikazePenguin

|literal child at heart| |they/them, she/her| |aro ace agender| |secretly a dragon| |GNU Terry Pratchett|

[kingcatnine]

i know it's not fair to compare the writing of recent debut tumblr authors to Terry Pratchett no matter how much they want to be him but reading a discworld really is making me despair at ppl not understanding what makes a metaphor good. Pratchett just hit me with "the silence of the room crowded in like a fist slowly being clenched" and you want to try my patience with sharpened bananas. go home.

[ratantics]

Count Binface oozes more confidence and charisma in this 52 second clip than Farage ever has in his entire life and I'm actually going to be genuinely upset if he doesn't win.

[theravenflies]

Fun fact- when I was a baby, my parents pretty quickly started suspecting I had autism. Like, before I even hit the year mark. They got me assessed four different times. the first one was when I was a baby, and they're pretty sure the only reason their concerns were brushed off is because I was a girl, and most people thought girls couldn't be autistic. Two times were when I was a toddler, after I was talking and walking, because they noticed I was happier to sort my toys than actually play with them. Both times, that doctor (different doctor from the first) firmly decided I couldn't possibly be autistic because- get this- I started talking early. And the fourth one was when I was getting ready to start preschool, because they were really like "Okay, there's no way she isn't, the doctors must have been wrong." And again, they were told I wasn't autistic because if I was, they would know already. Since I wasn't already diagnosed, I clearly wasn't autistic. It must just be from my brain injury

I am level two autistic. I am visibly autistic and always have been. And I still got misdiagnosed as not autistic four times for complete nonsense reasons.

So no, I don't think not being professionally diagnosed means one isn't autistic.

[loreleywrites]

im always saying this

[ggcrono]

[fleshengine]

[theragamuffininitiative]

Alright I want to know something here:

the 🙃 emoji means (approximately)

silly!*

ugh!*

secret third thing you will explain in tags*

Voting ended onJul 10

*if comfortable doing so, you may include your age range/generation in the tags for helpful demographic data

kindly reblog for bigger sample size, thanks!

[purronronner]

[uss-edsall]

Does anyone have this picture

But it’s a parody of Master and Commander’s opening title

I swear I have seen this before and I cannot for the life of me find it

[kesslersymbolic]

This image?

[uss-edsall]

YES

[eddardsharpe]

[bacony-cakes]

PNG'D! (i didn't know the font so this is taken directly from the image)

+ bonus italian navy vessel

[catgirl-kaiju]

[json-derulo]

it pains me to say it but the more people talk shit about the women who wear those shorts/leggings with the weird butt seam that looks like it gives you a terminal wedgie, the more compelled I feel to take the women’s side

[json-derulo]

ohhhhhh my godddddddd you saw someone wearing really tight revealing pants in public? should we throw a party? should we invite goody proctor

[json-derulo]

and while we’re at it, I’m done worrying about cameltoe. I don’t have time to be pulling and tugging at my clothes all day. if you can see the outline of my pussy you should say thank you and go about your business

[json-derulo]

SAME WITH NIPPLES!!!!

[json-derulo]

[headspace-hotel]

i don't understand having opinions on other peoples clothes and bodies... Other humans are not created to look pleasant to you...

[lemonemenom]

No one owes artists anything.

But existence is lonely and sometime you throw hours and hours of effort into a void, on the slim chance it will say something back.

[strathshepard]

Sky Ladder by Cai Guo-Qiang. The Sky Ladder was unveiled in 2016 over Quanzhou, China. It burned for 2 minutes and 30 seconds. It was the artist’s fourth and final attempt, as previous attempts had met only varying degrees of success. The artist says he had dreamt of a fire ladder 21 years prior and was very excited to see it come to life.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"but they support [dictator] and [violent action]!" okay is it possible that a combination of propaganda, election rigging, and authoritarian crackdowns on dissent could lead a population to look like it supports something most people would find distasteful under more reasonable circumstances

[literallyaurl]

The hopes of a nation rest on his shoulders

[neverniko101]

who up perceiving and reacting to stimulus

[mockva]

This guy's illusions are great

[alexaloraetheris]

[rhube]

Is Tumblr aware of Count Binface, current hope for our nation?

Let me explain:

Grotesque fascist grifter, Nigel Farage, is the leader of Reform, the racist far right party he created because UKIP got what it wanted (Brexit) and it sucked.

Having tried and failed to be an MP many times (but somehow getting more screentime than any Liberal Democrat or Green politician), he finally succeeded in the last election because people were so overwhelmingly pissed off with the Conservatives, and many right-wing people saw Reform as the new Conservative Party; partly because it's full of rejects from the Conservative Party.

Speculation: he doesn't really want to be an MP, he wants to be a fascist grifter. He's annoyed by suggestions he do things like Be In His Constituency and Serve His Constituents.

He's recently been caught having accepted a VERY large amount of money from some unsavory people that he insists was a totally legitimate 'donation' and not breaking any rules.

Only it did break the rules and it's very clear that it did and things are in motion to hold him to account.

To avoid this, he has resigned as an MP, saying this is a protest at his treatment by the 'establisment' (he is a rich fascist grifter, but he likes to cosplay as a Man of the People). This has triggered a by-election, in which he is standing, with the hope that the people of his constituency will either elect him in a resounding win, indicating they don't care that he's corrupt (having not heard everything the investigation is uncovering), or someone from Labour or the Conservatives will win and he can swan off to America, free to grift again because of what the 'establishment' did to him.

Only, all the major political parties have agreed not to stand, stating openly that this is an obvious stunt and they won't legitimise it. So if he doesn't win, he can't say it was because he was too much of a rebel and the Establishment went against him, he'll just be a loser, which doesn't play too well with the right-wingers he wants to grift. And if he does get back in the investigation will go forward without any kind of 'mandate' from his constituency buoying him up.

But. There is another option.

COUNT BINFACE IS RUNNING.

Count Binface is part of the grand British tradition of joke candidates who stand as a protest option. They usually don't get enough votes to get their deposit back (which is supposed to deter unserious people) but they don't care, because DEMOCRACY.

Of course, Count Binface has never won, but it is hilarious to see a completely serious pathetic fascist concede defeat while standing next to a man with a bin on his head to whom they are democratically equal.

But if nobody else is standing. And if enough people in Clacton-on-Sea are finally cheesed off enough with Farage not doing anything for them, there is just a chance that one of the funniest things to ever happen in politics will happen.

Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that the Grotesque Fascist not only loses, but loses to Count Binface.

[ayeforscotland]

And now we can go to the completely normal British nationalists in Northern Ireland.

Lmao.

[ayeforscotland]

A man has been arrested after a replica mosque was placed on top of the pallet tower. This pantomime every single year is used for nothing but hate.

[tarragonthedragon]

idk i just feel like "it is more acceptable and in fact encouraged to mock anything enjoyed primarily by women" and "being enjoyed primarily by women does not make thing feminist and righteous" are thoughts that can and should coexist

[tarragonthedragon]

oh and also "even if the thing is bad your criticism of it can come from a place of patronising misogyny"

[box-dwelling]

BUDDY I AM GONNA NEED YOU TO LOCK THE FUCK IN