[commiefaggoth]

so embarrassing to watch yourself become obsessed with a character that feels tailor made for you specifically to become obsessed with. feels like i fell into a trap made just for me. like damn they got me. those are all the things i like and go crazy for

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

aftercare for posting on ao3

[beloved-child-of-the-house]

your fic was good you did grammar good you’re the kind of freak people like everything’s cool dude :^)

[noonesgaylikegatson]

no one:

someone who got a C+ in their sophomore history class: They never taught us any of this in school.

[polari]

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

[marisatomay]

anakin didn’t do anything wrong that’s just what being 23 is like

[megamindsupremacy]

first rule of storing tupperware is have fun and be yourself. second suggestion is slam the cabinet door quickly and don’t worry ‘bout it.

[cohendyke]

the line “your worst sin is that you’ve betrayed and destroyed yourself for nothing” is so raw you’d think it’s from a destiel fanfic or even hetalia but it’s actually from dostoyevskys crime and punishment

[bunjywunjy]

occasionally I am struck dumb by the sublime beauty of the world in the small moments, you know?

egg

[wraether]

i drew it

[monstrousregiment2-deactivated2]

hey I hope you dont mind I also painted your egg

[kiunlo]

i also painted the egg hope that's ok

[yellow-cat]

i heard we were painting egg?

[rhube]

I love how this shows how real artists drawing a thing aren't just representing the thing, but showing you what THEY found beautiful in it.

[geodethecrow]

hope I'm not too late to paint egg! watercolors :)

[pipsqueaks-human-errors]

i too have drawn the egg

[sketchyelvenasss]

[kamil-a]

heres my egg

[queen-susans-revenge]

Love every single one of these eggs. No yeah of course it's still okay to write your vampire story or whatever, even if a thousand people have done it before you. Your art will still be uniquely yours and people will find something fresh in your perspective. Paint your egg.

[sentientsky]

riding her dick cowgirl style while shaking my head to show i disagree with the settler-colonial and falsely idealized nature of frontier era north america

[faggot-rat]

Aborted Descartes voice: I would've thought...if I was.

[writing-prompt-s]

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

[gwenthebard]

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

[chicago-geniza]

@exteenpopstar

[theothin]

#love the implication that house is force sensitive and decided to become a dark side user for medical malpractice reasons (via @gravity-loves-me)

[that-gay-jedi]

I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

[prokopetz]

"How can you write pornographic fanfic if you're asexual?", we ask, as though your average allosexual fanfic author does have first-hand experience with getting railed by a werewolf with a two-foot cock.

[dialogic]

setting a fic in the omegaverse and then writing it about two betas having completely normal sex and not interacting with any other characters

[hypotenussy]

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

[lizziemack]

[doggosource]

[dusttt]

To the bold ff.net user in 2013 who tried to write Moby-Dick from the whale’s perspective, please get back here you were cooking