PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

JVL
d e v o n

Love Begins
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KIROKAZE

Discoholic đȘ©
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation

Janaina Medeiros
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
taylor price
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đȘŒ
noise dept.
I'd rather be in outer space đž
Show & Tell
trying on a metaphor
Cosimo Galluzzi
hello vonnie
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@kelseypv
Deer running from a flying squirrel as caught on a trail camera
everything about this picture is goddamn intense as fuckÂ
itâs so weird how there are some things that men find like. gender affirming to be publicly humiliated about their ignorance and incompetence of. weaponized incompetence is one thing but guys showing up at the dog groomer and making a scene about how dumb and useless they are and how they donât know how their dogs should be groomed is like. your wife isnât even here to witness this and take over for you. youâre just reveling in your willful ineptitude in front of a disapproving audience. how is this not embarrassing for you.
he CAN'T know what kind of haircut his wife wants the dog to get or else people might think he is GAY
big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings
they couldnt take the heat
That moment when youâre reading a fic and your OTP finally hooks up
That gif is literally perfect
#I reblogged this in 2013
this tag dealt me psychic damage thanks
#iâm putting it in the queue to give you psychic damage again later#your post is old enough to be in middle school
@kirihana CURSE YOU
Everyone keep sending your attacks. She can't protect him forever
this bitch is literally crazy⊠she used to be a fitness influencer and scammed hundreds of women with alleged personalized fitness and diet coaching and she got sued by the state of texas and i believe settled for like 250,000 dollars. she then pivoted hard to conservative evangelical christian influencing. her husband is actually her second husband and he was fired from the kansas city police department for excessive use of force and when their family dog got hit by a car he whipped out his gun and shot it instead of taking it to a vet. they also forcibly exploited an unhoused man and sent him to a christian rehab⊠AND she holds religious retreats for roughly 700 dollars where her husband shows up despite the fact the events are described as being âwomen only spacesâ and they baptize people in a horse troughâŠ
Also for anyone that didnât grow up in a fundamentalist Christian space, âhusband is under spiritual attackâ is usually code for having an affair/watching porn/is gay
loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done
I actually learned a fun therapy trick for this!
The statute of limitations on arson is 6 years.
So whenever I remember an embarrassing or shameful thing Iâve done, I ask myself if it was worse than arson. If it wasnât, and it was 6 or more years ago, I forgive myself.
Also just the comedic shock of going âwell, that was a stupid and mean thing I said, but 6 years is the statute of limitations on arsonâ helps.
i agree with british people when they say fooking ell
not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like âi saw her at the devils sacrament!!!â girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament đ
happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born
tired: mermaids are all women
wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty
inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because theyâre an entirely different species with their own unique culture
marine scientist: whatâs your gender?
merperson: whatâs a gender
marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?
merperson: iâm merfolk
marine scientist: no, like, whatâs in your pants?
merperson: i donât⊠wear any? i donât have legs?
Itâs a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.
Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that
Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)
Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha donât worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because thatâs culturally polite for merfolk*
Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK
OH MY GOD
So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.
Thatâs it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and letâs see what they report.
I feel sorry for the old man, but it was stealing. There is no apparently about it. Water is not free, itâs not a right to have it, and people pay must pay for it. If a government gives a thing to you like utilities, its still not free because they take it from somewhere else, like in taxes. Â
my friend visiting my house: hey iâm thirsty can i get a glass of water
me:
Nestle isnât gonna fuck you
Also water IS a human right, itâs classified as one by the UN the only country that really disagrees with this is the United States
I know this post is a few years old, but I stumbled on it and I just want to also point out⊠Even aside from water being free or not, even aside from water being a human right,
the old man wasnât stealing.
He was using a neighborâs water, that the neighbor pays for, with the neighborâs permission. Nothing was stolen. The old man just wasnât the one paying. If someone comes to my house and I let them charge their phone while theyâre there, are they STEALING electricity because Iâm the one who pays the electric bill? If I take someone out to dinner, are they STEALING their meal if I pay for both of us? Get fucked.
I hope that person has become a better kinder person since 2021, but I"m not holding my breath.
If it makes you feel any better, he hated it too.
This is the funniest and saddest sentence I've read all week
all of the numbers that are divisible by 17 sound so absurd. 51? 68? 85? ridiculous. 102? absolutely not. and don't even get me started on 119
34 and 136 i can believe, but i feel like i shouldnât. itâs 102 in a trench coat
did we just run out of posts to make
no, i haven't made a post about every number yet
I'm sorry to let you know that 100,000,001 (one hundred million and one) is divisible by 17 and because of that, so is every 16-digit number that is four digits repeated four times e.g. 1234123412341234
Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there
Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now
So there's two species of sea lion in North America: the California sea lion, ranging along California (including Baja) but not ranging into the north coast or into oregon
And the Stellar's sea lion, which are WAY bigger and live in Washington, British Columbia, and Alaska
A male Stellars sea lion showed up in SF like a month ago and just kinda. Didn't know what to do, and joined a colony of California sea lions, and is just kinda chilling there now.
Weird vagrant species happen from time to time, but this is just a particularly funny instance of a highly social species getting very lost, and just trying to blend in with its closest nearby relatives
This is one of my girls named Silje. She is 1 years old and almost impossible to maintain still ;-) Nevertheless a few treats and sheâll stay still :-)
I love her very much and especially her one white toe <3 <3 :-D (Anonymous Submission)