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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Misplaced Lens Cap
Acquired Stardust
DEAR READER
One Nice Bug Per Day
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YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@kelthas95
you arent a real gamer until you played this
US students will be able to shield themselves during school shootings with the latest in body armour, the Bodyguard Blanket
http://goo.gl/WwvECT
Are fucking kidding me? I have been sitting at home and constantly watching the news after the events of yesterday. For those of you who are wondering, I am a junior at REYNOLDS HIGH SCHOOL! I was there when the shooter kept running in the halls trying to open the doors and get in. I was there in the dark praying and crying while my librarian kept saying ” they’ll have to kill me before they touch my kids” I have known her for three years, her determination to keep us safe broke her heart. Seeing this, that little children need protection in school. Are we sending kids to a battlefield? I have three little brothers ranging from 5-10, and still people have the nerve to speak about the second amendment? Really? I can’t even type anymore. I’m so disgusted and frustrated. When will you realize that it’s important to have gun control? When a shooter is pointing a gun at your child? Is that when you’ll realize that guns aren’t something to be kept around. People say it’s a free country but honesty, this country is more oppressed and diseased than any other country.
Show me ONE instance where gun control and gun free zones prevented school shootings.
Let me tell you guys a story. In 1996, in a little town in Australia called Port Arthur, a gunman killed 35 and injured 23. This place was a tourist attraction, with plenty of visitors and locals going about their business. 35 people died.That’s 35 marriages, anniversaries, birthdays or uni degrees. 35 people left Port Arthur in body bags. At the time, we had a pretty conservative government, and the Prime Minister at the time (in hindsight) was kind of a dick. But within two weeks of the shooting, Howard instituted a massive reform and buyback of all firearms.
But it must be a statistical flaw, you say, there weren’t that many massacres before 1996, right? No, WRONG. In the eighteen years leading up to Port Arthur, there had been 13 mass shootings.
But April, you ask, this couldn’t possibly have worked could it? Wouldn’t it only have reduced the mass shootings? WRONG. Since 1996, there have been ZERO mass shootings. That’s right, ZERO. FUCKING ZILCH. There have been scattered homicides, however:
How many schools have been raided and children murdered? NONE. How many film buffs have been murdered in their seats? NONE. How many innocent lives have been lost to the barrel of a gun? NONE.
On top of this, homicides involving the use of guns, and youth suicide involving the use of guns has declined dramatically, by up to 60%
Australia, however much the environment tries to kill you, is a safe haven, and you can walk the streets with 99% assurance that you won’t fall victim to a drive by shooting.
Your move, America.
in 1987 a lone gunman killed 16 people, wounded 15 and then committed suicide. within six months the uk government passed an amendment to the firearms act effectively outlawing all high calibre, high frequency, high capacity rifles and shotguns.
in 1996 another lone gunman killed 16 children and their teacher, and then committed suicide. again within six months the uk government outlawed all handguns. special dispensation had to be issued in order to hold shooting competition as part of the 2012 olympic games, and british hopefuls had to train overseas.
you can legally own certain types of shotgun, .22 calibre rifles over a certain barrel length, and antiques. that’s it.
in the nigh-on twenty years since the uk has had one mass shooting. one. and we’re down to about 30 gun-related deaths annually.
there is not one example of gun control laws reducing mass shootings and gun-related homicide. there are dozens. it literally works every time. the usa is the anomaly not because it didn’t work but because it hasn’t tried.
The smash hit of the summer.
I’M SCREAMING!!!!!!!
I’m… shook
Well I heard this with my own ears and now you must also.
Couldn’t resist, that hammer was meant to be Mjolnir.
Awesome haha funny too cos I’m reading Norse Mythology by Neil Gaimann currently
Everyone should be reading Neil Gaiman
finally
i’m on to you drake
Your death is a preexisting condition and we cannot afford to cover every resurrection. I already have mine scheduled. Die mad about it.
Republican Jesus™
ok i try to keep religion off of my blog, but this is hilarious
It’s funny because they’re nothing like the religion they hold on to so dearly lol… These memes are dead on
So cute!
Card Captor Sakura + wolf pupy tweets.
D&D adventure premises inspired by stupid bear puns
Premise: a bear is the only witness to a crime; the party must convince the local druid to awaken it so it can testify. Adventure title: Bear Witness
Premise: the party must escort the king’s valuable pet bear through hostile territory. Adventure title: Bear With Me
Premise: the party must retrieve a cache of powerful enchanted weapons from the lair of an enormous owlbear that’s somehow figured out how to use them. Adventure title: Bear Arms
Premise: a psychic werebear is telepathically possessing townsfolk and forcing them to commit crimes. Adventure title: Bear in Mind
Premise: a charlatan at the summer fair is attempting to sell trained bears as domestic helpers; events proceed as expected. Adventure title: Bear Market
Premise: the party must investigate the reported appearance of a great golden bear that the local temple believes to be an omen from their god. Adventure title: Cross to Bear
Okay, so my group is preparing for an epic level campaign, and the DM has requested that we each write at least one sentence of backstory for every level our characters have gained. One of my friends is playing an awakened bear druid, and he wrote a goddamned saga about his character, and the title of every chapter is a bear pun. It’s fucking great.
These jokes were
BEAR-able.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!
Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?
Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.
Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.
Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.
With the monster slain, they continued forth on their magical duckventures.
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@piperi
Compleat Elspeth.
@elspethsunschampion
It’s perfect. I hate it.
like whats the average lifespan of an asgardian? like yeah thor is 1500 but what if thats just like 23 in human terms
googled “asgardian lifespan” found this,
so if thor is currently 1500 years old (said in infinity war)
5100/1500 = 3.4
so thors current age times 3.4 would be the average lifespan of an asgardian
to change that to human terms the average lifespan of a human is about 80 so
80/3.4
lsdmkfgjdfjsd oh my God…
thor really out here having the worst time of his life and hes like 23
Jace what have they done to you my son?
Now this is quality posting!!!
“Jace, eat a Snickers” is my new favorite response whenever he starts acting like a moody teenager in the stories again.
Somehow this just makes everything better.
Starlord: Is Footloose still the greatest movie ever?
Spiderman: It never was.
Starlord: