Please Do Not Perceive Me

🍋i am just a slice of pie🍋

[eightfifteen]

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

[plutojester]

[doingthewritethings]

my friend briar and i lovingly call this one ‘therapy speak joker’ and it almost caused her to drop biological samples one time

[dizzyghoast]

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

[teaboot]

Would you be comfortable with me sharing the story of how I got these scars

[fair-itself]

That would have been an incredible episode of Batman: The Animated Series, though. Joker gets out of Arkham, having convinced the psychs he's rehabilitated by speaking in fluent Therapy. Bats spends the entire episode losing his mind, because he KNOWS it's an act because NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT and Joker reacts with total calm and understanding when he finds Batman in his pantry at 2AM. "You're violating a boundary right now, but I realize this behavior is caused by a history of trauma. Can we talk about how your inability to trust negatively affects those around you?" Meanwhile steam is just coming out of Batman's ears

[seriousfic]

Are you in the right headspace to receive information on you potentially being overserious?

[lavenderprose]

The thing about Shane is that the WOULD NOT kill himself. Ilya always kinda has it in the back of his mind. He's been passively suicidal since he was a preteen and, forgive me for saying so, pretty actively suicidal at several points as well. Ilya Rozanov does not expect or really even WANT to make it to thirty. Ilya lives his life under the assumption that he will someday wrap his car around a tree or catch a skate wrong and bleed out on national television or maybe, honestly, just go missing. Take himself out somewhere like a sick dog and nobody will care enough to find him (they will) or at the very least the tragedy of his early demise will be overshadowed by the relief felt when everyone realizes that They Don't Have To Deal With Him Anymore (He is wrong)

So that's the tragedy of Ilya Rozanov. The tragedy of Shane Hollander is that he will give completely up and then just keep going. Failure is not an option and he needs to keep performing at the highest level possible for as long as possible but everything else will be gone. Any sort of light or warmth extinguished. Deprivation will become its own reward. He will become so scared of his own wants that he starts actively avoiding things that bring him even some modicum of pleasure--and yes, this would be self harm. He starts to associate the pain of longing with success. Family is his only reprieve, and even then he rations it out. He holds all of his ache and his longing and his need in a fist in his chest and sometimes when his mom hugs him too tight or his dad rubs his shoulders it starts to dislodge and that's dangerous. He can't let himself have that.

Shane would not be Scott Hunter, hooking up with men in Europe on the down-low every summer just to fill that gaping maw of absent affection and connection in some small way. He would not be Ilya Rozanov, making bad decision after bad decision and waiting for one of them to catch up with him in a way that finally shoves him off the coil, one way or another. He would ignore and deprive the soft animal of his body until it became something dark and cold and barren and he would feel accomplished when it finally stopped whimpering and just laid down to die. And then he would keep going.

[rgwriter]

So many questions

Here we are in July, and I am still thinking about everything that feels unfinished in this show and the questions left unanswered. I know I'm missing a lot, but these are the ones that haunt me.

In just the season 5 story line, they didn't answer these questions or close up these story lines:

-The burnout.

-Who unplugged the tower.

-Why high school Joyce was in one of Henry's memories when she never mentioned knowing him and they never put Henry in any of the school moments to confirm he went there. (if you didn't watch the play or search online, it wouldn't make any sense based on Henry's age in the season 4 flashback)

-Dustin and the bullies story. He got beat up and clearly wasn't popular. Then his epilogue had him giving a Breakfast Club speech about nerds and jocks and freaks all coming together that got applause and he got an invite from a girl who turned him down in 2.

(That was one busy time jump btw. Military left, Hopper got his job back, Max healed and caught up on a year and a half of missed schoolwork to graduate, Jonathon got his dream school at NYU-no longer worried about his family, Vickie disappeared, Steve somehow got a coaching job instead of working for his father, and Dustin who was having his girlfriend fudge some of his grades in 4 and was a grieving troublemaker for almost two years after in 5 was suddenly the valedictorian)

-Dr. Kay's real purpose. In 4, Sullivan just wanted to kill El. In 5, Kali said something about her blood and pregnant women. Dr. Kay mentioned the Russians to Akers. No one actually explained wtf was going on and why they needed El. Was it to kill her? To use her blood? And why, like Kali said, was her blood different and the only one like Henry's? How would that be possible?

-The real reason Will was still connected and those 12 kids were chosen, and why it mattered (being weak is really not an answer, or even the truth)

-Why Vecna so dramatically changed his MO between 4 and 5 and decided to make friends with his victims. Was it just the book? Was he drawing power from his victim's imaginations as well as their fears? Maybe, but it was never made remotely clear.

-Why 12 kids question was asked but never answered. Someone once said that 12 kids + 4 deaths in 4 =16 anchors which =16 points/vertices of a tesseract, tesseract is in Wrinkle in Time, and that would explain the Vecna plan/connection. But did anyone get that from the show? No they did not. Not even during the "let's explain what Vecna's doing with the wormhole" conversation at the radio station.

-Why Will had hope at the start of the season and what he saw from Vecna-that we NEVER saw- that killed his hope and brought Tammy into the mix.

-Why Will mentioned milkshakes at Melvald's and getting lost in the woods.

-Why everyone was okay with Joyce's crazy plan for Will and had no questions. Aka why the people in the show who understood D&D never mentioned siphoning Vecna's powers would not only make Will an instant spy again but could actually allow him to take over Will's body and, since Will "took" his left hand in the battle, maybe use Will to co-create an attunement curse or something aka Camazotz....Is that why no one filled Dustin in onscreen about Will's new abilities? I mean, even siphoning was way too dangerous for Will to be doing voluntarily.

-Why no one used music to try and wake Will up.

-Why Mike was suddenly calling Mrs. Byers Joyce and not touching Will.

-Why no one noticed the dial and tower changing colors.

-Why no one appeared to sleep or really eat anything substantial for 3 days, and why some of them occasionally looked like death warmed over but then were fine in the next shot. Will, Robin, and Mike in particular.

-If the gate had never opened until El did it in 79 and didn't stay open until she opened one again in 83, which the show if not the play implied, why was there a room full of journals about exotic matter and wormholes that we're supposed to believe Brenner made in the UD lab for Dustin to conveniently find? *Note: Even if we assumed it had something to do with the little observation tower Owens had going in the UD in 2-the show tells us that UD is frozen in 1983...so it still doesn't make sense.

-If we believe in that stupid meat wormhole, which sure is theoretically possible, then How did Kali, El and everybody in the UD survive the sudden hole into the vacuum of space Steve's car created? I mean seriously? Even with the exotic matter present, the instant decompression and destruction that would happen would be as cataclysmic as Mike's record bomb right? Right? I think I'm right.

-Why we never got Mike's emotional POV. That last talk with Will and Hopper doesn't count. His worst dialogue ever. Both of them felt so off and fake it was jarring.

-Why Will didn't get an epilogue and was erased from a credit pic and called an illusionist.

Bonus question: Where did Argyle, Suzie, the deputies and Owens disappear to? They were never mentioned once.

Overall series questions that still aren't answered:

Who opened Will's door that night? We saw El do that to locks like that at least twice, but demos can't and Vecna couldn't get out of the UD at that point so...

Why did El recognize him from his picture or know his player piece was the wizard and how was she able to guide the party directly to his house? Seriously, how did she know he was hiding there?

Why are there so many time travel references and odd anachronisms throughout the series? Why clocks chiming and ticking? Why Back the Future and Terminator references? Why keep playing that Moby song from 95?

In the Nina, how was El given memories that appeared to occur when Brenner's cameras were off? And why did the drawing of her and Papa on her wall change from what Hopper had seen in 1? Was any of that real?

Why did people stop thinking about hazmat suits after season 2? Things we also stopped thinking about: rotting farms/food, hivemind soil, inhaling spores, Will's brain scan and the effect of bites from UD creatures etc.

Why did the lab stop thinking or caring about Will after season 2? Why did the MF/Vecna stop caring about Will after season 2...until season 5?

Why did Bob, Hopper, Joyce and Karen appear to have no memory of Henry or Brenner if TFS is canon?

What is up with that stink everyone has been smelling through the entire series?

What's up with birthdaygate and paintinggate? They never explained the continuous changing and forgetting of Will's birthday and age-that they are still highlighting to this day with that new book that came out. And they never addressed the painting's Cyrano trope, which they are still highlighting with that book that came out with the WRONG VERSION of the painting in it.

Why did they give bffs Mike and Will every romantic trope out there, tender music, soft lighting, lots of heart to hearts, if it was only supposed to be a one sided gay realization/coming of age story without reciprocation?

Why did Hopper go through all of this--his mourning a lost daughter, thinking he was the curse and a black hole, ready to kill himself with a bomb in 5 right before losing another daughter to a wormhole/bomb situation as he watched-to then just be fine in the epilogue, talking to Mike about acceptance, proposing to Joyce and planning his future like everything was great? Again-that time jump did A LOT of work.

I could keep going. I've never had so many questions about a show that is supposed to be over.

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

THERE. SHOULDN'T. BE. THIS. MANY. UNANSWERED. QUESTIONS!

May I add, in regards to El's plan to kill herself, that it was the same thing she earlier gave Hopper grief about? Not even so much that she felt she was doing what she had to do, but that she hid it from everyone. That should've been the means to get her to understand what she was doing was hurting her loved ones, just as Hopper's plan did with her. Instead, they made it seem like she made a hard choice that her loved ones would have to learn to understand, which she explicitly asks Mike to help them do, but then that doesn't even happen thanks to the whole "I believe" crap.

And I utterly despise their attempts to answer some of the questions, if one can even call them answers. Like with why there were 12 kids. They said there was no special reason.

So, you just randomly chose 12 because it seemed like a good number, resulting in having to add 11 new characters (and recast Holly for an expanded role) to an already bloated cast after saying you didn't want to add more?

And I'm still pissed about them having Will suddenly thinking he had a shot with Mike after season 4 supposedly showing him accepting that Mike loved El, not him.

[themoonandmyman]

baby Ilya’s tiny angry Russian ranting when Irina won’t let him stay on the ice and his cheeks are all bright pink and his little nose is wet and he’s plopping down onto the ice and crossing his arms and yelling NYET NYET NYET.

Across the ocean at the exact same time, the exact same thing is happening to a very exhausted Yuna Hollander.

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[centrally-unplanned]

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

[theabigailthorn]

love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears

[animentality]

[beautifulterriblequeen]

A sign to tap

[grissomesque]

"If you're still having fun in your 30s you're functionally brain damaged" sure is a take.

[noxs-mun]

Just because you want to be a soulless soot bag of a human doesn't mean you can just tell others they have to be that too Gregory!

Stars forbid someone does not want to be a dull husk of a human.

[the-haiku-bot]

Stars forbid someone

does not want to be a dull

husk of a human.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[wowwforever]

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

[boogerwookiesugarcookie]

he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women

[explorerrowan]

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

[orcboxer]

[justwin44]

Lewis' radio during vsc pit stop posted by finsimracing on TikTok

[escuerzoresucitado]

[diphowell]

it’s crazy that phil has been taking diabolically sweet photos of dan for almost 17 years now. he loves taking photos of his baby.

[hyonibee]

[dzyman]

Dan's version for the....two.....people that asked ^_^!!!!!

[mohamano]

tiny warmup.... rip minecraft pjs you will be missed

[wejustvibing]

LEWIS HAMILTON x ANOTHER MAN CHINA

[📸Campbell Addy]

[lyraisnotonfire]

this fanfic shit is easy

[gaynehollander]

At some point after the cottage but before the public outing TMZ does an article on “Ilya Rozanov’s most high-profile hookups” which is essentially just a list of Instagram models with paparazzi shots and blurry cellphone pics of Ilya at the club. Shane scrolls through it, absolutely seething, because he is Ilya’s most high-profile hookup - maybe not by their metric, which seems to be Instagram followers, but Shane hasn’t heard about a single one of these women, apart from Svetlana whom he wouldn’t have recognised if not for Ilya talking about her. The guys are talking about it in the locker room, as if Ilya’s a legend for getting with all of these supposedly very desirable women (although that is decidedly not the way the guys phrase it) and Shane is absolutely furious because he can’t tell anyone that none of these women got to keep him. He is the only one who’s gotten to call Ilya his. He is the only person Ilya’s been in love with.

Anyway, after the next Boston/Montreal game Ilya shows up to practice genuinely looking like he’s been mauled. His entire body is covered in hickeys and bruises that look suspiciously like bite marks - his neck is basically covered in purpling marks with a fair few centred on his chest but a couple of the bruises trail further down, one on his pubic bone, a couple on his thighs, and the darkest one on his hip, a large circle of clear teeth marks - not only that but his back has been practically scratched to ribbons. Ilya is basically a walking sign spelling out “TAKEN - BACK OFF” and when the gossip of Ilya Rozanov apparently having been locked down by a wild animal reaches the Montreal locker room Shane can’t help the proud little smile that blooms on his face because, yes, that’s his man.