No, actually, i want cables and not bluetooth, i don't want touchscreens, i want buttons and knobs, i want to be able to take the battery out of my phone, i want to charge my phone and plug in head phones at the same time, i want a cd drive in my laptop and not have to buy an external drive, i want a car without a display, i want to turn on the lights with a switch not with my voice, i want to have a paper cinema ticket not a QR code, i want to listen to illegally burned music on a 00s cd player, i want to watch movies that i actually own, i want to read news once a day on paper, i want to aimlessly flick through magazines and not doomscroll on social media, i want to write emails and not talk to chatbots, i want to own stuff without hundreds of digital subscriptions, i want
Lucretia is the most fun character in the world because she is set up exactly like the guy who has been a villain all along, but instead the big reveal is that she's your best friend. And she loves you and thinks you're hilarious.
“My ship is enemies to lovers” “my ship is strangers to lovers” “my ship is childhood friends to lovers” well MY ship is childhood enemies to teenage enemies to homoerotic knight and liege but still enemies to undead schizuationship to lobotomized coffeeshop au to fascist jesus x the void where harrow resides to R̶̬͂̓̑̕ͅě̷̖̲̓́̚d̴̨̺͚̍̀a̴̢̧̬͊̑c̴͎̜̝̔͛ẗ̵͔̍̂e̸̤͕̘̥̎̍d̵̨͔̘̫͆. So actually.
i thought furiosa was a slight disappointment ( i didnt like them changing / sanitizing her backstory) but why did you hate it (genuinely interested bc everyone else seems to love it and idgi)
fury road is one of my all time favourite movies and furiosa is one of my all time favourite characters so ofc i was SEATED i was so excited for this movie which is definitely a contributing factor to my dislike for it since it takes great joy in spitting in the face of everything i loved about the character. spoilers for both movies below btw this will probably be long
things i liked: the first 40 minutes were genuinely really good. chris hemsworths character was fun to watch. the buzzards had really cool designs. ok now everything i didnt like
just as an opening note, the colour grading was bullshit. the blue sky and red dirt were such an iconic part of fury road but this movie just flattens all its colours into a sea of dull monotonous brown and seeing side-by-side gifsets is genuinely heartbreaking. like look at this
ok now the writing. honestly a huuuge chunk of my issue is that anya taylor joy was a TERRIBLE casting choice for the character. like really bad. it doesnt even make sense as a star-power casting choice since she was still an obscure actress at the time of casting so i am baffled by this decision. her facial features are very distinct which makes the transition from the honestly really well-cast child actress to her sooo jarring. her facial acting felt very flat in a way that didnt suit furiosa. she cannot play butch to save her fucking life. but the worst thing about this casting pick is THE VOICE
furiosa is the voice of fury road. max is an antisocial weirdo who chews on gravel so he says like, 5 things for the whole movie and shes there to pick up the slack. by far she has the most dialogue in that movie. so whyyyyy why why why would you cast someone whos voice is so unusable that she spends most of the movie COMPLETELY SILENT. YOU HAVE TO ADD REASONS TO HER BACKSTORY FOR HER TO NOT SPEAK. WHY
the only way the character can speak is through painfully obvious ADR (i rolled my eyes at every over-the-shoulder dialogue shot it pissed me off so bad) but otherwise she doesnt. say anything. the most talkative character from her debut movie spends her standalone feature not being able to SPEAK
its not just her literal voice that was taken either, praetorian jack as a character made my blood fucking boilllll i understand his purpose is to be a like, proto-max or whatever but he doesnt even fulfill that role well. he looks about 20 years older than her and seems to exist exclusively to undermine her skills and agency and then the romance they started implying made me want to hurt somebody. when a core tenet of her character is the way shes been abused by the men in her life and distrusts them on principle. which is why her friendship with max is so significant, and the story spends a lot of time breaking down their respective barriers to make room for it. jesus christ. especially since they introduce him as a mentor figure????? sooo so gross to me the heteronormativity absolutely reeks here
theres a scene early on where she shaves her head as a way of taking back agency over her body after being sexually abused as a child and i thought oh thats such a good way to establish why she keeps her hair short. and then she poses as a warboy and i assumed she kept it shaved but when she takes off her hat later shes just? grown it back out?? and its long for the rest of the movie. why. what was the point of any of this. suddenly everything is meaningless forever. idk how much of this was directors choice and how much was anya not being able to play butch but why is it SO LONG SHES AN ENGINEER????? SHE USES FLAMETHROWERS. NOT EVEN TIED BACK OR ANYTHING WHYYYY
and then theres the villain i cant be fucked googling his name and i dont careeee. immortan joe was such an important character to her in fury road so giving her a second unrelated Guy is so pointless to me. also as an aside, something i was genuinely interested in knowing was how she ended up being joe's prized driver when shes a relatively healthy attractive woman and he is famously a huge predatory misogynist and this movie just, skips over that part. oh jack got her a job as a driver (????) fuck you for real
anyway her backstory guy is at least an entertaining character, but i feel like her revenge is so cheaply handled and really just feels like its trying to #girlboss it up in a way that isnt satisfying or poignant for the character. it feels like a loss for her and ends the movie on a deeply sour note as much as the writing clearly wants me to think of it as a win lol she grew a tree out of him isnt that so badass #feminism #woman (very ironic for a movie that is so male-centric it ends up sidelining the protagonist in her own life story but Whatever)
ANYWAY i had a lot of issues. theres probably more im forgetting but i just really really did not like the movie. if you did i dont care it was hugely successful so youre clearly not alone but this one wasnt for me. ok bye
The really bewildering thing to me is that I remember when you needed to get up and pull a dictionary off the shelf, or visit a library to look up the facts you needed. Now people have all kinds of information literally at their fingertips and they can’t be bothered to use it.
Also, I love that, in the sign language one, it seems like the last image might've been a gif of "fuck you," screenshot at the perfect time to let you know they were about to sign "fuck you"
Story about a ragtag space crew who crashland on a new planet and have to pull together to survive. After multiple years, they're able to send out a distress signal and activate emergency systems to get themselves back into space, but something goes wrong and the rescue vessel doesn't arrive. They manage to find a way off-planet and into their own vessel which is still in orbit, right as a major disaster wipes out their camp planetside; as they leave orbit systems on their vessel start to fail, and it becomes clear that these were preinstalled failsafes. They're being sabotaged! What big secret have they uncovered, that The Company is so desperate to bury??
There isn't one. The Company gave them up for dead and only became aware of their survival when their distress systems called fro a rescue vessel. Now they're trying to wipe them out at a distance in a plausibly deniable way before they reach civilisation, because if it becomes known that people survived then they'll be owed almost a decade's worth of back pay as per their employment contracts, and that would reduce shareholder profits this quarter, which is of course unacceptable.
Insurance paid out for the spaceship when it was declared lost and the crew assumed dead, under future law if it shows up again it belongs to the insurance company. All that was on a previous balance sheet years ago, it doesn't affect this quarter's profits.
she hopes im cursed forever to sleep on a twin sized mattress in somebodys attic or basement my whole life never graduating up in size to add another and my nightmares will have nightmares every night btw. if you even care.
From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....
"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."
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