you want it?we got it? @killermarcus42 - Tumblr Blog

tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020

i love that i have to go to menswear to find a shirt a human being in the world would wear and then when i do it takes me .5 seconds to find it. I love that

tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020

me: i need a plain black t shirt

target women’s section: would you like to have a giant scoop neck that would definitely like completely show at least one of your boobs. would you, an adult woman, like to wear a crop top? would you like to look like a human piñata. BLACK? I think you mean jewel tones babey!

target men’s section: yeah sure. it’s the first thing you see as you walk into the shirt aisle. have a good one

themadcapmathematician

Women’s section: would you like a shirt made out of tissue paper that costs $34.99??

Men’s section: here’s 25 normal tshirts for a quarter

dare-to-dm

Women’s Section: Would you like to play fucking guessing games with our arbitrary sizing systems and style names? Also, we added a bunch of fake pockets for your personal inconvenience!

Men’s Section: Here’s a bunch of pants organized by the exact inch length of your waist and legs. With pockets that can hold more than just a credit card.

sammit-janet

Women’s Section: Oh you want a plain tee-shirt? Here you go, it’s completely see through so you either have to a) wear something else over it or b) let everyone see your bra!

Men’s Section: Here’s an amazingly comfortable shirt that no one can see your undergarments through. Have a nice day!

gutter-adonis

Women’s section: if you’re a nerd? I guess you wanna show titties and have glitter huh???

Men’s section: Here this has the hogwarts crest on it and it’s like five bucks

i-tried-and-i-lost

Women’s section: you want shorts? I guess that means you want something really short huh??? Might even see your butt??

Men’s section: Here’s comfortable shorts that are longer than like 15 cm long, have a good day

domiingoenfuego

i found the post again

small-town-spooks

Women’s section:you want a hoodie? Well here’s one that’s tight fitting and accents the one thing you don’t want to be seen, miss!

Men’s section:hoodie? Oh sure, here’s a loose fitting one that is perfect for hiding lumps of death have a nice day young man

astrophelos

Women’s section: pockets? Yeah sure of course! We’ll give you fifty fake pockets.

Men’s section: you can put your first born in one of ten pockets and still have room for more things

justabsbutler-deactivated202105

Women’s section: RUFFLES AND GLITTER

Men’s section: here’s some quality fabric, come again when your shirt gets a small hole after 32 years

killermarcus42

The quality disparity is so bad when i buy shirt for work, I'm a welder, I get upset when the shirt thins out after 2 years. That shirt, a dickies tee shirt costs 15 dollars. The shirts I buy for myself when I want to look good, some blouses or leggings, I have to be super careful. Plus like hanes boxer briefs are soo much better than cheap hipsters.

grimharlequin

weaver-z

How the media depicts the Apollo 11 mission:

Actual quotes from the Apollo 11 mission:

culterioncollection

i want to meet her

culterioncollection

i need to meet her

pulmonary-poultry

I love how yokai range from “You smiled at me a little bit so now I will kill you with my razor-sharp hair.” to “Hey man, heard you were feeling down on yourself again so I thought I’d drop by and do a funny little dance.”

killermarcus42

Kinda like tumblr

moldyjunk

Don’t just ASSUME things have limbs until you see them. Did we learn nothing from Peridot?

.....what did we learn from Peridot? I honestly forgot what we learned

killermarcus42

She's a cat

guitarbeard

Yeah I'm calling bullshit on that one, from experience the average domestic water heater only takes between an hour and a half to 3 hours at the absolute worst, what the hell are these plumbers doing for the other 4-5 hours?

rainbowgazes-archive

Jumping on goonba lol

guitarbeard

lol

killermarcus42

Charging for travel

durendoll

the year is 202X, shit finally popped off and went loud

you’re moving through the bombed-out wreck of a Sheetz off I-95 with a bunch of other members of the United Committee to Restore Democracy militia members trying to link up w/ an allied armored battalion from the Sandersnista Free States for the next push against Pete Buttigieg’s New American Empire when all of a sudden you feel a sharp prick in your chest, you stop being able to breath and you hit the ground and start to see the blood pool while one of your comrades desperately tries to grab your drag handle and pull you back into cover behind a burned out Tesla Model X

just before you black out you can see, from the roof of a Wawa further down the road, a flash of blue antlers as the Murrx-Lenin-Meowist Furry that just took you out takes cover again

ultrafacts

Source

Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

morwenpost

That sounds about right for Mythbusters.

ultrafacts

mickeydraws

- Blendo was put together before Mythbusters was a thing - Blendo was so strong and dangerous (for throwing debris into the audience) that The Boys were asked to withdraw it in exchange for a co champion title - they re-entered Blendo years later when the protective wall was much higher. It was once again asked to be withdrawn for a co champion title for the same reason. - copy cat Blendos started appearing and would tear each other apart - Blendo is in the robot hall of fame - Blendo is too strong and powerful

oatmealartistry

OOOOH POWERFUL BOT.

locktheraven-deactivated2019121

STOP PRAYING THE ROBOT IS TOO STRONG.

unrenderedfuture

LET HIM SPIN

uncle-beanbag

Spiral Power

killermarcus42

Increase rotations

amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

straighthater

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

timelordpillbug

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

hikingnerd

When Russia sends you nudes

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon

#what the fuck happened here

killermarcus42

amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

straighthater

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

timelordpillbug

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

hikingnerd

When Russia sends you nudes

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon

#what the fuck happened here

plotsjotsandespressoshots-deact

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

suicunesrider

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

drtanner-dickery

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man.

fanboyingoverdemigods

fucking look at this shit though

mauridianhallow

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

mizushimo

amazing

shadowthorne

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

mad-dyspunktional

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

datneeks

One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

muck-raker-deactivated20181222

(link to said post about malfunctioning t-rex)

alessariel

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

brainsforbabyjesus

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

alessariel

This is getting better and better.

red-dirt-roads-deactivated20161

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

teslasturtle-deactivated2023011

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

perspectivemax-deactivated20181

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

myloverhammurabi

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

gorsime

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

myloverhammurabi

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

flamingbluepanda

Old movies had the best special effects

skafuller-deactivated20180122

The thing about this that gets my special effects nerd going is the fact that EVERY single dinosaur was sculpted by artists based on the current existent archeological evidence of the time.

witwitch-deactivated20160508

@jurassicparkandrecreation

senkirowolf

@shepfax

prettyarb

Even better than that, this movie ADVANCED our best understanding of dinosaurs at the time. They were blowing out a budget bigger than anything Hollywood had ever seen, and along with employing almost the last hurrah of incredible physical FX, they had a bank of those newfangled digital SFX computers. Nobody’d ever really created convincing dinosaurs in a movie before. It’d all been stop-motion animation, and even when the models were exquisitely crafted, you could just tell there was something OFF about them. Spielberg wanted THE BEST DINOSAURS EVER, and he figured on using the cutting edge of digital modeling and animation technology to build them for him.

So they got hold of some of the best paleontologists they could find and said, “We want you guys to take this tech that your labs could pretty much never afford and use it to build us the most realistic, accurate dinosaur models the world has ever seen.”

The paleontologists knew an opportunity when it bit them in the ass. They plugged in everything they knew about dinosaurs, all the skeletons and their best guesses about soft tissue and all that. And when they’d created those dinosaur models, they had the computer start moving them as they realistically would with anatomy like that. One guy took a look at those walking t-rexes and velociraptors (really utahraptors, but whatevs, fam), and he said, “Wait a minute, I’ve seen movement like that before.”

He called up film of a chicken walking. Everyone in the room said, “Holy shit.”

Prior to 1989, the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs existed–we knew about archaeopteryx, we knew there was some minor connection there–but the idea that DINOSAURS LIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD AND THEY ARE CALLED BIRDS was not pre-eminent. Jurassic Park changed our scientific understanding of dinosaurs.

bastlynn

That paleontologists’d be Kevin Padian. Who is awesome.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Padian

thistherapylife

This post just gets better and better with time

durendoll

can anyone name a multiplayer game w/ a successful launch not marred by major disasters in the past five years because I’m struggling to come up w/ any

killermarcus42

Titanfall 2 barely makes that

bone-cement-huffer

memeception

hashtagloveloses

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

bl00dlikeice

@caesarianconfection

fidefortitude-deactivated202011

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.

But this… This is something else.

The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.

For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

mommacomms

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

pagesofkenna

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here

ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)

this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)

“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)

‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)

and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)

which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)

(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

animatedamerican

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

captainlordauditor

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

japhers

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics