Kinfolk Pick Me Up

A recovery and trauma informed blog to help kinfolks and introjects! Inbox Open 0 Pending Reqs Carrd WIP.

[kinfolk-pick-me-up]

We are Open!

After about 3 years (!!) of indefinite hiatus we are happy to announce the return of Kinfolk Pick Me Up! We are a recovery focused/trauma informed kin help blog that is system friendly! The current active mods are Mod Twilight and Mod Ozy. Mod Twilight is 25, transgender, and neurodivergent (including being a traumagenic system). Mod Ozy is 27, agender, and neurodivergent. Read more about the mods here! Before You Submit is the page to visit for our request types and what we’re comfortable with! TL;DR for that page is:

In general we do not want to interact with bigots/nazis or “MAP”/pedophiles.

We have no desire to get involved with discourse! This includes syscourse, acecourse, and trans discourse. Please ask off Anon if you must ask about a sensitive topic or ask off Anon to speak with a mod.

Additionally, we do accept requests from endogenic/non-traumagenic identified systems (though we prefer those who also have PTSD/trauma symptoms, and yes they do exist!).

In addition to recognizing all system types, we recognize all genders including any non-binary identities (like neogenders). Thusly we also respect and recognize neopronouns.

While we are comfortable with factives we are not taking requests from factkin at this time.

If you need to ask about a sensitive subject, do so off Anon or ask to speak with a mod off Anon.

We have no blacklisted characters or sources at this time, but the mods can and will reject any requests that make us feel uncomfortable/are triggering. We will explain why except in cases it’s a troll.

We are happy to accept requests for positivity, motivational self-care, advice, poetic/written aesthetics, and kin assessments! If you’re familiar with our old lineup, you can request other things, but understand there’s a high likelihood it will get rejected. We might consider opening a sibling blog specifically for systems if things start going very well!

Here is our tag list! TL;DR for that page is:

We generally tag all sources and characters, as well as the type of post/request, and if it is system or kin related.

A character may be removed from the source tag upon request, the only character at this time who will not be tagged with source is Purple Guy/William Afton from FNAF (it was requested in the past).

Finally we have a WIP Resource page for resources around kin and other neurodiversities. It can be found here.

Mobile users should be able to open links in their mobile browser, if the browser doesn’t automatically open try long pressing on a link and seeing if there’s a “open in browser” or “copy link” option.

Thanks for reading! We hope to see you in our request box!

[eldritchbauble]

You are NOT selfish or self-absorbed for drawing a line and refusing to do all of the emotional labor for someone who abuses you. They had their chances. You have already given them enough. Now it's time to give back to yourself.

[galileosballs]

Also, please do not listen to how people talk about cover letters on this site. Cover letters are important, and in many industries you can be damn sure they'll be read. And no, they're not 'fanfic about working in your office', or just re-stating the resume contents in a fancier guise. If you treat them like that, then of course they're not doing much for you. That makes you sound like a syncophantic windbag, and it's not doing anything else to help.

I was trained in the dark arts of the cover letter by my mother, who is a hiring manager. And her training has paid off: I've been consistently told my cover letters are excellent. Let me pass on the wisdom.

The job of a cover letter is to give a prospective employer strictly more information than is on the resume. This is where you take the resume contents and put them into context. You look at the job requirements (you are looking at the job requirements before applying, right?) and look at your resume and ask the question (in your head) "why would a person think this candidate would be good for this job?" and your cover letter is the answer to that question. If you don't answer that question, the hiring manager is going to have to do it themselves, and you have way more information to work with than they do.

This is especially important if you're moving from one industry to another, because then the relevant connections aren't obvious. It's also very important if you're overqualified, because then you can use the letter to say "I know it looks like this job would be too entry-level for me, but I'm interested to pursue it for reasons x, y, and z". You can also use this space to explain away something that might otherwise be disqualifying, like job-hopping or a long break in employment. The tone to strike here is always matter-of-fact and constrained to topic - don't go into detail about health stuff or personal tragedy, just tell them what they need to hear: that this period of your resume was affected by [bad thing] but that it's now in the past and you're looking forward to the next chapter. Remember, one of the things they're trying to learn is whether you'd be content in this role, or whether you'd be miserable and leave after 2 months, which would force them to do all the work of hiring again. You're trying to establish that you will fit right in and not cause problems. Knowing what drew you to this job in particular (and don't just say 'money', that's true for everyone) helps with that.

And the other mistake? Everyone writes cover letters that are too long. One page is fine. Two is the absolute maximum, and that's if you have a lot of specific things to say. It's a waste of your time and theirs to pad it out with fluff. Of my two most recent successful cover letters (i.e. jobs for which I was interviewed) one was 390 words and the other was 550. That's the length of this post. How long did it take me to write this post? About 15 minutes to write, 5 to proof and edit. That's how long you should be spending on a cover letter, maximum.

[buam]

Cover letters are the first thing I look at. Poorly written cover letters are an instant rejection - how can I trust someone to communicate well or take the job seriously if they can’t write a couple paragraphs about their background and why they want the job? Strong cover letters, on the other hand, can earn someone with a so-so resume an interview.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Off topic for this blog but an important skill I think we teach people so little about!

Cover letters are your elevator pitch. Why you, over anyone else with the same qualifications? What things can you advertise yourself with that can’t go on a resume? It’s literally self-advertising. Tell an employer a persuasive narrative about yourself that will make them want to interview you.

For a quick example: this blog led to me getting my first fact-checking gig, which has become my Real JobTM.

My resume shows the blog, that first client (which I still work for, eight years in!), and subsequent professional advancement. It’s not a bad resume these days.

Every cover letter I send tells the story of how I tried to do education on the internet and got so frustrated by incorrect/contradictory/unsourced information that I taught myself how to fact-check to find some dang correct facts. That I’ve dug so deep looking for accurate answers that my work has been published in peer-reviewed journals, cited in law articles and other academic literature, and influenced the trajectory of legislation. And that I still love it! A decade later, it is a joy every single day to dig my teeth into the newest topic and make sure everything is right. This, I say, is what I will do for them.

That’s the story my resume could never convey.

You don’t want to make things up or exaggerate, but everyone has some sort of narrative to build around their history. Even if it’s not conventionally “impressive” it will still give potential employers a sense of who you are, where you’re coming from, and if you’d be a good fit.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

#ugh... i can't self-advertise to save my life... tags from @rubytactician

I have a trick for this! It's called ask someone else.

No, really. Someone in your friends / family / favorite colleagues from that last job is going to be your biggest supporter, so make use of that!

Ask them how they'd pitch you to someone else. Insert theoretical scenario of them somehow socially encountering someone hiring for the perfect job for you - what would they say to make that person interested? What about your work history do they think would be compelling? What skills do they think you should promote?

It is really hard to figure out how to market yourself. Especially these days when there's a more performative aspect to job applications than just having the right skills. Make use of the people who love you want to see you do well.

I think this sort of thing used to be easier when written letters of recommendation were more common, honestly, because those were literally someone else advertising you to someone else.

Another thing you can do - which will feel so awkward but is worth it - is to ask friends, colleagues from previous jobs (maybe not your current one), or past/current clients to give you a blurb! If you have a professional website, those are a great thing to use to flesh them out to prove you are a real person with real skills. If not, you can keep them to look at when you need inspiration or can't remember to save your life what you're good at and why someone should hire you.

My best suggestion if you're like uh, no, I cannot write something cogent is... don't. Barf everything vaguely relevant onto a sheet of paper. Do a free-writing exercise with no constraints. Write down all the silly, ridiculous, egotistic shit you'd like to tell an employer about why they should hire you. Get it all out on paper without censoring yourself so you can get any of it on paper - and this this important, do not send it. Read it back, and draw from it to make your actual cover letter. If you're struggling, show it to someone else and ask them what they think is important/interesting/marketable.

Drafting things like cover letters and even your resume with the support of your community will seriously make them so much better. You get eyes on for spellchecking and grammar, but also to help make sure it flows and that you're not using jargon or technical language a hiring manager might not understand. It can be hard to ask and I totally get that. It's something where I think it's worthwhile to sit with the discomfort. Applying for jobs successfully really isn't a skill that's taught these days! So we succeed best when we support each other.

I practice what I preach here. This is hard for me too - I am successful because I lean on community. I don't remember the last time I wrote a cover letter without having someone else preview it, even though I have a solid template I've worked from for years. I literally just asked @kaijutegu to help me cobble together a bio for a client that wanted to include me on their website (aaaaaaaa). I read and give feedback on cover letters for my friends as well, because it's got to be a two way street.

I won't say that writing cover letters isn't hard, because it is, but it is a skill that can be learned. And you don't have to do it alone.

[free-my-mindd]

[kingbedlam]

[fitnessadvicethatfitsinyourlife]

Drinking soda is better than drinking nothing all day. Eating ice cream for dinner is better than eating nothing for dinner. Eating salsa is better than having no produce in your diet at all.

Water is way more hydrating than soda, but soda is more hydrating than nothing. A balanced meal is way more nutritious than ice cream, but ice cream is more nutritious than nothing.

Something is better than nothing. Some hydration is better than no hydration. Some nutrients are better than no nutrients. Some produce is better than no produce.

Don't let societally imposed food guilt trick you into believing that nothing is a better choice. Nourishing your body, however you can, is always the better choice. Fed is best. Always.

[anarchistmemedistro]

food has no moral value. being fed does.

[kosmogrl]

[meangirlnurse]

there’s a post on tumblr about like. if you could do something to bring people a little relief, why wouldn’t you do it? which has unironically informed my practice as a nursing student and patient care tech

[meangirlnurse]

i’m glad no one made any unpleasant comments on this post that might distract from the message because that would really suck

[catcrumb]

[corrya]

I think about this like once a day

[vaspider]

I have heard a variant on it that I really like: "You cannot hate yourself into someone you can love."

[mads-schubert]

Week 1 - 10 in my weekly poster series for 2026

[spicycheeser]

"A marriage ending isn't a failure at all. I spent eleven years with her. We were so in love that we couldn't image life apart from each other. We got our own place, adopted a dog, and supported each other through school. I thought if tow people loved each other enough the rest would fall into place, except... love isn't everything.

And I didn't want to believe that, but we were sitting in counseling one day, talking about our future and I realized we were describing two completely different lives. Where we'd live, what kind of life we wanted, what made us happy. And it hit me that- I love this woman and this woman loved me. And after eleven years of loss, grief, career changes, we were so deeply in love... but we weren't aligned. And I kept thinking 'We just need to try harder. We can find some compromise to make this work,' because that's what you're supposed to do when you love someone, right?

But the reality was, we had just become different people. Her trade school took her in one direction, my graduate degree in another and trying to force us back into who we were five years ago wasn't coming from a place of love. It was coming from a place of fear. Fear that, if this ended, it meant we wasted eleven years. But sitting there across from her, I realized: That's not how love works.

Those eleven years happened. They were real. The dog, our home, showing up for each other through grad school and trade school. I wouldn't change a single thing because loving someone doesn't mean you're meant to stay with them forever. And letting go doesn't erase what you had. We measure marriage by whether it lasts forever or not, but what if we measured it by whether it mattered?

What if we measured it by the love we gave, the life we built, and the people we became? Because love's job isn't to last forever, it's to help you become fully completely yourself, and sometimes the most loving thing you can do is give each other permission to be yourselves, separately. But the dog doesn't know were' divorced. He just gets two Christmases now."

Pulled this from this guy Preston Rakovsky's Instagram (@prestonrack) because it is a beautiful perspective on love, marriage, and relationships in general.

[lgbtranswoman]

Ice cold takes from a Transgender Woman:

Men are not inherently Evil

Everyone has the capacity for evil

Transgender Men are men

Transgender Women are women

Excluding Cisgender Men from your spaces requires Transgender Men to out themselves if they want to engage (Same for Women)

Anyone can be Non-Binary, there is no "look" or requirement

Non-binary masculine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces, many are just treated as men and predators

Non-binary feminine presenting people should be welcome in queer spaces without being seen as "Woman-Lite"

Edited the wording on the first point because too many terfs keep thinking I'm their friend.

[i-am-a-fish]

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

[i-am-a-fish]

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us

[meanbuddhist]

ooooo i have to find grace for myself in the way that i find grace for others i have to find grace for myself in the way that i find grace for others i have to find grace for myself in the way that i find grace for others

[quietwingsinthesky]

all the “peer pressure is bad” education we give kids is practically useless because all it cares about is telling them that Drugs Are Evil rather than the much more useful lesson of ‘the person who responds to you saying you don’t drink by telling you they’ll find a way to get you to is also going to be shitty about all your other boundaries’.

[quietwingsinthesky]

god forbid you teach kids that their consent should be respected rather than about the inherent immorality of all the sinful actions of their peers

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Hi. I’m a therapist for kids/teens. I hate the therapy field but I’m kinda stuck with it for now so I just work hard to do no harm. I’m seeing a lot of posts about self harm scars and wanted to share. One of my therapy kids accidentally saw my self-harm scars and it seemed to change her life for the better. Up to that point she barely shared cus she was afraid I would lock her up like most therapists would. But once she saw my scars she was like wait…you hurt too? It opened up a whole beautiful dialogue about self harm and coping and growth and patterns and change and hope. She wanted to stop self-harming but was stuck in a cycle of shame. After that day she stopped and hasn’t self-harmed since Sept. Sometimes people need to see our scars to feel okay with their own. She said “Seeing your scars helped me feel like I can keep growing up too, like this isn’t the end of it.” Anyway, I don’t hide my scars anymore and no one else should feel pressured to either :)

Genuinely like how are we expecting people to feel normal about having self harmed if we expect everyone to cover it up forever? How is anyone ever supposed to feel okay about their scars if they never see anyone else with similar bodies out in the open living their lives? You're doing something important by not hiding yours, especially in your field.

[saviorified]

sometimes people on here talk about "accountability" in a way that shows they think that the person they've decided is in the wrong can't actually do anything to redeem themselves other than like. suicide.

[ace-aussie-asshole]

Things Accountability IS:

Apologising for the harm that you've caused.

Trying to change your behaviour.

Accepting that not everyone will forgive you and they don't have to.

Things Accountability ISN'T:

Wallowing in your guilt until you think of yourself as nothing but bad.

Accepting an overly distressing punishment for your actions.

Twisting yourself into knots to make sure everyone knows how disgusted you are by yourself.

Other people can't move on if you never do.