come closer... @kingapathyiii - Tumblr Blog

trupowieszcz-moved-deactivated2

r/scrungycats is fucking amazing

fruityfinch

This one is my favourite. It’s subtle. It’s contemplative. This cat has so much to consider

makingtrouble

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

makingtrouble

Actually I've decided this is a poem

makingtrouble

This is getting notes so let me just say

Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝

spicymemedad

I deman you to do it ?

chrisweedpiano

assaultmystic

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

evilneo

all4vans

valentinetheeviljester

Maybe lean out

valentinetheeviljester

dogpuppy

nineteenyearoldmeblog

im fucking crying

parakeet

little known fact about me i was actually isekai'd into this world from the video game world. i used to be a peggle orb

somethinginthebasement

peggle 1 or peggle 2?

parakeet

peggle 1... peggle 2... who's to say... it was just 'life' back there... to me... to my fellow orbs.......

boltlightning

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

trekkiesagainstchastity

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

boltlightning

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

darkcomedies

evoking bertholt brecht’s “the way people cast a play!” quote as a spell against prescriptive, stereotypical, fatalistic typecasting

darkcomedies

idk what to tell you except go look at the fishwives

sushishorts

HUDSON WILLIAMS FOR BALENCIAGA HEART AND BODY CAMPAIGN

#i need him to play jonathan harker in my homosexual retelling of dracula

caffeinatedopossum

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

godlessondheimite

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

nobodys-odyssey

Taylor Swift does this

godlessondheimite

no she doesn’t

nobodys-odyssey

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

dancinbutterfly

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic