drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra

Jess - she/they - icon by ministarfruit

[kristimoon]

fic masterpost

i'm not going to put all my fics on here, just the ones i still update somewhat regularly and/or feel like are good representations of my work as a whole

ace attorney/great ace attorney:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

m-rated, mostly gen but some klapollo, apollo gets trapped in an alternate reality where his dad is still alive but things are terrible for different reasons

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

t-rated, klapollo, an au based on spider-man (2001) written for the klapollo minibang

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

g-rated, gen, herlock sholmes figuring out how to take care of baby iris, contains mild implied spoilers for dgs2

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

g-rated, narumitsu, a fluff fic about phoenix and miles going ice-skating

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

g-rated, gen, trucy defends pearl at school and gets in trouble but miles defends her

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

g-rated, gen, a character study of mia fey that takes place sometime before aa1

the owl house:

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

g-rated, lumity with side established raeda and huntlow, eda and raine tell king a bedtime story loosely based on the musical once upon a mattress

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

g-rated, gen, a character study of hunter taking place prior to his introduction in the show

[eleilinnrallin]

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

[newtsoftheworldunite]

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

[kuragin]

this is the most underrated part of rockin’ and rollin’ yoda

[bunjywunjy]

Luke’s face is what makes this.

[faceless-crowd]

Mafia boss smoking a cigar: Why’d you gotta squeal, Squealin’ Stephen? I trusted you. Now I gotta send my best goons to show you what happens when you cross the Big Boss…

Guy tied up in chair: uh…theres just one guy over there.

Mafia boss: Yeah. That’s Lil’ Tony. He’s got one of dem conditions where he’s got multiple mooks n’ his head. But when Big Tony fronts you’re gonna be in big trouble.

Lil’ Tony: We actually all agree we’re gonna kick your ass.

[flowerbleedme]

it's not frequent enough to be considered a meme or a trend, but I like how every so often this site gets a new "woke mafia boss" variation.

[druckers]

i would fuck him [remembers im talking about a real person] um [remembers its normal to be attracted to people] i would fuck him

[whitebisexual]

Ringo fumbled Shelley Duvall ??????

[whitebisexual]

It's breaking news TO ME.

[redstonedust]

the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

[perfect-jerry-blossom]

i genuinely can't fucking deal with the larger internet anymore holy shit what the fuck are you people TALKING about. i am at my limit with this stupid bullshit. who the fuck cares if a man is hired to draw medical diagrams for young girls jesus christ we're pearl clutching about medical illustrations now? next you're gonna tell me male pediatricians shouldn't advise parents on their kids' vulva issues? male surgeons shouldn't be in the room when performing a procedure where a woman's breasts or vulva might be exposed? male researchers shouldn't conduct gynecological medical research? sure. better for men to live in ignorance and NEVER ally themselves with us to expand access to sexual education and reproductive healthcare i fucking guess. Twenty thousand likes. i hate it here KILL ME

[perfect-jerry-blossom]

THIS is the post that got me my first ever anon hate. i'd like to thank the academy tbh

also not related but can ppl on this post being like "yeah STOP being mean to men!!" pls stop cuz that's not the point of what i was saying 💀 i'm not mad bc someone was mean to a man i'm mad bc feminism is being hijacked by bioessentialist conservative Christian moralist bullshit where the goal seems to be the complete and total segregation of women from men instead of like, the material improvement of women's lives. i don't care if some intsta commenter is mean to men i care that feminism is culturally turning into Nu Conservatism

[ao3commentoftheday]

there are real benefits to complaining about a fandom in a private chat with your bestie

like, one time my bestie complained about a fic where our mutual OTP was getting frisky in a *very* confined space and she'd had to nope out because the logistics of it all were just so nonsensical. "they couldn't fuck in a space that small" kind of thing

I hadn't read the fic, but I did enjoy the premise so I took the same location and wrote a comedic take on the whole thing where said OTP just got annoyed at having to breathe each other's air etc

bestie got her annoyance off her chest. I got the fun of writing a crack fic. readers got to enjoy both stories (or one, or neither) without realizing they were even marginally connected. the other author never knew that they'd annoyed one reader in particular.

everyone wins and there's more fic than there was before. highly recommend complaining in a private chat with your bestie

[benihana-circumcision]

[imsobadatnicknames2]

Extremely weird how many people decided to respond to this post by instead bragging about their Ignoble Despicable Savage view of appalachians

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

I just have a healthy fear for the terrifying cryptids that could only come out of a place so ancient and nothing but mad respect for any humans who manage to live there too.

[jockohomomorphism]

every place is ancient that's how the earth works

[softeningscript]

i hate diet culture so much. i hate how everyone steamrolls over my "i don't like talking about dieting." i hate seeing vibrant, beautiful personalities turn into someone who only talks about their weight loss. i hate when people brag abt how little they've eaten. i hate being expected to fawn over ppl for being on a crash diet. i hate when women go "hahah, i just don't really eat!" i hate when ppl use coffee or cigarettes to suppress their appetite and think that's healthy. i hate when i see the pain in my friend's eyes because someone around them lost weight and they feel Too Fat by comparison. i hate when people assume I'm unhealthy because im fat. i hate that this is something i've had to deal with since i was 7. i hate when fat people, stranded in a culture that villifies every aspect of their being, are asked to clap and cheer for thinness.

[cutecipher]

science has always been political. what gets studied. what doesnt. who gets to do the studying. on and on and on.

[cutecipher]

scientists on this post: yuuuup 👍

people who aren't scientists: um actually ☝️

[spiralingintocontrol]

toddler started playing a game a while ago where he points at dad and says "you're [toddler]. I'm Dada" and then they roleplay being each other. I gotta say. the schadenfreude, the absolute satisfaction, when toddler says "eat your hot dog" and dad says "no! I want a lot!!" (imitating what the toddler does when he refuses to eat unless he is given a GIANT PILE of food, which he will eat approximately 5% of) and toddler says "you can have this" (exactly what we say to him in this situation) and dad says "I WANT A LOT!!" and the toddler tries to think of a way to convince him and says "EAT IT!!" with visible frustration. exquisite. incredible

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[tanknaka]

hey

hey friend

dont kill yourself tonight ok

you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again

youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep

[the-grace-of-fallen-angels]

I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.

It is keeping me alive

[anxietyproblem]

[hopepunk-humanity]

“Humans are inherently selfish--" Then why do so many cultures value hospitality, to the point of dictating it in their religions? Why is it so common for hosts to offer their visitors their best food, and as much of it as they can? At some point, multiple cultures decided that they knew what it felt like to be alone and vulnerable, and promised each other to never let those who stay with them feel that way. That doesn't sound very "inherently selfish" to me.

[wolfsteax]

"humans are the plague"

No. Humans are animals as much as the fish and the bear. We are pack animals who have survived by strong bonds and community.

Do not buy the lie that humans are inherently evil. Societies can trick you into believing this, but it's not the truth of humanity.

Humans crave being together, sharing together, and thriving together.

Capitalism just wants you to believe we're destined for selfishness.

[llamagoddessofficial]

This is Shanidar 1, affectionately nicknamed 'Nandy'. He was a Neanderthal living between 60,000 and 45,000 BCE. He was born with deformities in his ears, a withered arm, and paralysed legs. This would've left him almost entirely deaf, unable to use one arm, and with an almost debilitating limp. Not only that, but during his lifetime his left eyesocket sustained a severe fracture, which most likely would've left him completely blind in one eye.

He lived to between 30 and 45. An incredible age for an ancient hominid. This man couldn't have been a 'sTrOnG pRoViDeR mALe' and yet he lived to the Neanderthal equivalent of mid-80s. Why? Because his family must've taken care of him. His broken eye showed signs of healing, and his withered arm was amputated (perhaps one of the earliest examples of surgery). Despite his existence providing no 'logical benefit' he survived. Because he was loved.

Compassion and love are deeply rooted aspects of human existence. Don't let anyone trick you into thinking otherwise.

[wherehipposdrome]

And to everyone going "Oh, but he probably had other qualities", you're kind of missing the point. Sure, he could have been a storyteller, a philosopher, world's best babysitter, a genius at thinking up dirty jokes - but he could also have been grumpy old uncle Nandy who never really enriched anyone's existence and he still had value as a person.

[aetherograph]

The first sign of civilization is a healed femur. The first sign of humanity is an old scar. The first sign we were people at all is the grave Of a child Laid to rest as though sleeping With flowers all around.