years of academy training wasted

kyre, 31, denver used to be dickkickingrampage & queenofthemoonpeople professional amateur

[birdsareblooming]

pandora’s box but it’s a gamecube

[birdsareblooming]

girl no

[sonicbible]

She opens up the disc drive and all the horrors of the world are released but there is also a copy of Sonic Adventure 2 Battle

[feastofsnakes]

they added another luftballon while you were sleeping

[greeniery]

mommy needs her head smashed in with a brick

[dilfhamlet]

[dilfhamlet]

the literal only funny tags on this entire post

[dampfnudeldove]

shot in the HEAD. and you're to blame. You are not good. At dart game

[artemissoftstepper]

need a bad sleep reset

this is a very delicate operation which involves not falling asleep until the late enough tomorrow that i can get a normal nights sleep

[voxelfoxkae]

[cowboy]

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures

[chilewithcarnage]

[no-more-dead-dogs]

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[byjove]

‘Nuclear Family Month’ is so funny as a concept. I have never seen a nuclear family worth celebrating.

[dragonessmiralis]

The Addams

[nichijou-translated]

[maplebunie]

[thegenderdruid]

walking down the street and saw someone walking the other direction with a pig in a harness and leash and I stupidly asked, "is that a pig?" and he replied, "I sure hope it is, it was a pig when I left the house"

[orcboxer]

kinda bullshit the English language doesn't have a discrete word for an unlit campfire. you light a campfire, but what is it before you light it? also a campfire, I guess. I need to invent a word that can be intuitively understood as "the arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire"

[dorian-they]

well "an arrangement of wood that is intended to become a campfire" sounds like it's just a bundle of sticks and I think there is a collective word for that maybe

[orcboxer]

[creekfiend]

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

Hello.

[creekfiend]

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME

[tuftedpygmysquirrel]

I can go upside down.

[creekfiend]

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU

[the-muppet-joker]

Heh. I'm in the Bug Leagues, Kid. No, not the Big Leagues. The Bug Leagues. I'm kind of a Bug Deal, you could say. I'm covered in bugs. I'm covered in bugs

[slunch]

[feldfrog]

Imagine being one of the parents for the kids in the Magic School Bus class. Getting those field trip permission slips home every single night.

Like what, another one? Doesn’t she teach? This just says Inside a Dog