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@kyvooon
I know the Star Wars extended universe treats âspiceâ like itâs this big scary drug, but I kind of like to imagine that itâs basically just space weed, and the only reason Han got in trouble with the Imperials over Jabbaâs cargo is that he was evading import tariffs.
If weâre just looking at mentions in the original trilogy, is there evidence itâs even a drug and not something you put on bland food to make it taste like something? What if Han was just carrying a cargo of like cilantro, mint, etc, none of which grow on Tattooine and are thus highly expensive and heavily taxed commodities?
I am fully prepared to believe that the infamous Han Solo ended up in a life-or-death vendetta with the most notorious crime lord in the galaxy because somebody didnât want to declare taxes on three thousand kilos of cilantro.
Every who pays a certain amount of attention to Star Wars knows this story already, but I was lucky enough to hear it recounted first-hand last year, so Iâm gonna give it yet another retelling.
So The Husband and I were at Sci-fi Weekender (a British based annual Sci-fi and Fantasy convention) last year, and one of the guests that year was Kevin J Anderson, one of the very notable Star Wars Expanded Universe writers. During one of the events, a quiet little interview in a cafe on the event site, he fielded a question from an audience member about what it was like to write for a franchise like Star Wars which often had lots of cooks working on one broth, and he had the following to say (wording recounted as best as I can from memory):
âSo in one of my stories, Han Solo, he, he travels to this asteroid planet called Kessel, which is where a lot of Spice comes from, these Spice Mines of Kessel, and I got to really describe the effects of this Spice, this terrible drug and the addiction and all this and before publication I get this call, I get this call from the lawyers, and they say âKevin, you say in this story that Spice is a drug, you canât say that, you canât say that Spice is a drugâ, and I say âWhat? What do you mean itâs not a drug, of course itâs a drugâ, and they say âHan Solo used to smuggle Spice, and you cannot, let us be clear, you cannot imply that the Hero of Star Wars used to be a drug dealerâ. And I just stood there, at a loss for words, and I eventually said âSo what is it then?â and they said to me, very sternly, âItâs a food-additiveâ. Now, now obviously this is ridiculous, and I wonât back down, and they wonât back down, and none of us will back down, and the book is very close to getting pulled, which I donât want because I worked hard on it and they donât want because they already paid me the advance, and eventually, with this great air of superiority they say âOK Kevin, weâll take this to the top. WEâLL TAKE THIS TO GEORGEâ. And they go to all this trouble, this was a long while ago when such things were not so easy to arrange, they go to all this trouble to set up a conference call with all of them and me and with George Lucas and they say âGeorge, Kevin is trying to say in his new book that Spice is a drug, itâs a food additive, tell him itâs not a drug, Georgeâ. And thereâs this long silence on the other end of the line and eventually George says âIt is a drug, though. Itâs, itâs a drug, itâs a food-additive? What? Of course it a drug, itâs space heroin, what else would it be? What?â And that was then end of that.â
Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post
And the update
She buttered Jorts
The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:
FINALLY
Iâve been collecting the best Jorts tweets and waiting until the moment he showed up on my dash to post them. So here you are, the curated best of the past, oh, day or so:
Jorts has been getting me through this week.
Laudna: Well ⊠I woke up dead, surrounded by corpses,
CR1 fans: Right, the ziggurat of corpses, weâve all seen it
âŠwhen you havenât even started campaign 1 yet and it comes to snatch your kneecaps with some fucked up shit
âWhen the approach is imminent, the tail goes upâ
(via)
A cat putting its tail straight up like this is a friendly greeting. This is the equivalent of the cat waving excitedly at you as soon as it gets close.
Rating: NOT CUTE
This cat is using their tail to make a gang sign, signaling that they are a member of the Fresno Bulldogs; a drug cartel in central California. This particular cat is responsible for 25 reported murders and trafficking $250,000,000 of illegal drugs
One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well Iâm Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. Iâm Greek.
One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because Iâm not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said âoh no Iâm Brazilian hahahâ and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, âIâm Brazilian tooâ
When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasnât great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasnât great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadnât studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. Iâm sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.
Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China. One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot. The problem was that he didnât speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.
I love the world
While undoubtedly designed as a research and conservation tool, and probably even valuable as a way for the inland ultra-rich to dine on extra-fresh red snapper, I choose to believe this is just one guy who likes to take his fish for walks.
portable supramarine exploration device
Hey, itâs Hershey. We already got our first exciting fan letter! Letâs see what it says
Itâs from Forrest. Hi, Forrest! You suggested that we should delete our account on July 17th, 2021.Â
Well Forrest, I have a suggestion for you. On July 17th, 2021, I suggest you start running.Â
I so wish bobs burgers was real so i could be a passerby....ur friends invite u out to eat and ur like ok and u show up and the owner is standing out front screaming at the italian guy across the street....u bypass him and go inside and ur like isnt this the restaurant that got busted for serving human flesh and ur friends are like ya....u look at the chalkboard and it says the burger of the day is the texas chainsaw massa-curd burger and ur like ok....theres a teenage girl under one of the tables and shes like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..there sre two guys that appear to be a gay couple at the counter and one of them has the worst toupee youve ever seen in your life, the other one is literally always here like every time youve been here hes here.....ur waitress is 9....at no point are u offered a beverage
could you possibly draw a small happy opossum for me? it's been a rough week :v
Space family of this tweet:
drew this earlier today cause i was tired of not drawing something awfulÂ
Happy pride yallđ
reblogging this because i think it is creative and funny, not because i dont get laid. this is a good joke, and i have a lot of sex with women
was that really necessary to add
really
huh? just sharing my love of getting laid. didnât mean to offend you friend. i just have a lot of sex. with women. i get laid a lot and thats why i added this.
Spring Birch
Artist Fong Qi Wei continues to create time slice photos of picturesque locations using a fascinating reinterpretation of landscape photography.
coolâŠ
You guys just have to trust me on this one and click here okay?