La Vache Intrépide

[la-vache-intrepide]

You can honour your mother by taking care of her as she ages instead of creating more people that absolutely did not need to come into existence and wasting your life and money on them.

[cherrylimeadee]

I don’t care about being called a misogynist by bisexual women or straight women. Y’all sleep with men who call you “his bitch”, “his hoe” or worse. You lay up and laugh with men who women hoes and sluts, when your man started talking shit about that one girl, you thought it was funny. Y’all want men who are rude to every woman but you, because YOU are also a misogynist who wants to sit pretty on his pedestal. Idc if you think I’m a misogynist because I don’t want someone like you, you’re a shill for men, you disgust me.

[thornybushybrambles-deactivated]

Smth that I think even radfems ignore about women identifying with male characters and preferring male narratives is in stories with all men/mostly men, there's very rarely any sexual violence shown on screen. Take a classic movie like The Shawshank Redemption for instance, where the male protagonist is a victim of assault (rare as is). When Andy's experience of sexual violence is mentioned or implied, it's portrayed as horrific. It fades to black. It's shadows. There's no gratuitous scenes of groping, no voyeuristic shots of his face looking pouty and hands running along his hips. When was the last time you saw a story where the female protagonist was given that kind of dignity?

[lavenderfeminist]

I can tell it freaks people out when I refer to prostitution and prostituted women as just that rather than "sex work" and "sex workers", but better that than using the language of pimps

[glendathegoodone]

[enchantingcheesecakepersona]

[riverlarking]

what is this 21st century need for media to be relatable. honestly is it some new kind of mental illness, because i’ve never once stopped reading a book and thought “umm what about me i feel excluded 🥺👉👈” deeply narcissistic way to engage with art

[sickofeverythingmale2]

People literally kill themselves and hurt themselves and make stupid decisions everyday, but don't you dare imply that women perhaps sometimes place themselves in situations where they're likely to be raped!! Woman hater!

[lesb0]

Many scholars have investigated how too much of current pop culture was initially an invention of completely unknown tumblrinas. So many backronyms and "extended" proverbs. Therapy speech. Girls diagnosing themselves with a hundred things, especially the Alexandrias Genesis hoax. The DID kids. "Belly fat is actually your uterus," that banana extinction myth, the fake relatable content humor stories.

Half of the gender identity and sexuality terms/concepts people 1000% seriously use today are directly from things made up by random bored 16 year olds on their popular blogs. Many new American trans/nonbinary concepts, the polyamory manifesto, pronouns culture, mogai and all its subsequent versions, "the a is actually for asexual", pansexual in general, the concept that bisexuals are lesbians in the "lesbian master doc", the stolen "lesbian flag", all the other ugly flags, sjws as a whole. The concept of "queer bait" and secret episodes. Glazing white males via shipping their characters, and subsequently supporting the entire ecosystem of the MCU. The institution of problematic, callouts, and receipts. All from tumblr posts.

And you would expect that amidst so many huge scams, millions of fake stories where everyone clapped, and other hoaxes, people would be more suspicious. But no, literally all the most popular posts and bickering are still being spread over to tiktok, but word of mouth so it's even harder to trace back. Well I was there when the original texts were written, I have read the primary sources, and they were all dumb as hell. We all were part of a new era of silly kids being really annoying online, but nobody thought that it would have such lasting POWER over so many lives as a consequence. Why would millions of grown, rational people seriously debate and live by something a lonely teenager named wholock-in-the-tardis typed up in bed 15 years ago? Well, because they.... have absolutely no idea who wrote it.

For all they know, "the blood of coven is thicker than water of womb" could be Shakespeare. It's like if Roblox were to become a major significant influence on the way people lived, how they spoke, what they responded to, their beliefs, and how they thought about things in the 2030s, which is perhaps the funniest thing about American pop culture ever.

Oppa homeless style!

[sickofeverythingmale2]

The answer is these people are not grown or rational. They’re stupid sheep who believe in this stuff because everyone else does. The status quo does not need to be questioned or proven. Even if everyone somehow believed all this stuff was made up by a random 16 year old, they would just say that it was a good thing for people to finally have the labels they’ve been missing. After all, so many of these people are adults as well who were on tumblr, yet they still support it. People will believe and justify what they want.

[bogleech]

We should fix this and start saying "stupible"

[pangur-and-grim]

this is going to be a generalized take, so please forgive me, but women are an underrated enforcer of femininity.

I’ve noticed this with hairdressers. multiple times I’ve gone to lady hairdressers and said “cut it all off,” and they’ve gone “hmm alright,” and basically just trimmed the split ends. meanwhile I can go to a dude and say “hey, can you make my hair slightly shorter?” and he’ll go “on it boss,” and shave me bald.

twice now, I’ve also had lady tattoo artists add pink to femme up a tattoo, despite that not being on the initial design.

god, also thinking about this brought back a memory. my mom once threw a fit because my shoes were “too masculine” (they were black women’s flats), saying that I’d upset my dad and ruin the formal event we were going to. I wore the shoes, my dad didn’t give a shit.

I dunno. it just feels like the misogyny is coming from inside the house sometimes.

[rebellum]

Women are absolutely half of the enforcers of femininity

[catprofilepicture-deactivated20]

No dating, no sex, no marriage, no kids: South Korea's growing feminist movement | The Japan Times

Bonnie Lee doesn't care about finding a boyfriend or a fairy-tale wedding, and will decide her own happily-ever-after: "I'm a straight woman who is no long

“I’m a straight woman who is no longer interested in having relationships with men.”

[…]

A growing number of South Korean women are banding together to reject rigid patriarchal norms and vowing never to wed, have children or even date and have sex.

[…]

Now she has gone even further, embracing the nation’s radical feminist movement called 4B, from the “four nos”: no dating, no sex, no marriage and no child-rearing.

[…]

Lee said: “I realized this society is a system that I cannot accept as a woman, and from then any encounter with men — be it marriage or dating — became meaningless to me.”

[…]

Yoon is convinced most South Korean men in their 20s and 30s have watched spy-cam videos or revenge porn — footage released by male exes — one reason she no longer wants to engage with any of them.

[…]

She insisted, “My dream is to build housing only for women who plan to never marry.”

[deputy-shayy]

The irony when Western liberals accuse radical feminists of being “white feminists” when feminists of color outside the West are practicing radical feminism.

[biarritzzz]

These SK feminists that you worship and put on a pedestal are so few and far between but you always make it sound like they’re a huge force in SK.

They claim to be 4000 in a country of 52 millions. They also appear to be quite young. Let’s see what happens when the rush of activism vanishes and they feel lonely.

Values and beliefs in a cause are one thing. Reality and human nature another. These women are heterosexuals and will eventually meet a man who hopefully isn’t too awful and their noble ideals will go out the window. Sorry to be blunt but it’s a tale as old as time.

Not getting married doesn’t mean anything: plenty of unmarried women are still in long-term relationships with men.

In any case, even if these women actually stay single, they will NEVER convince a significant percentage of women in South Korea or worldwide.

If it was possible for women to change and go against their own heterosexual nature, it would have happened by now.

Most women want to be mothers. The ones who can’t for whatever reason (infertility, impossibility to find a man, etc) are miserable about it. Most women are heterosexuals. No matter what they claim, they all want a romantic relationship with a man.

[uvb76fan]

It is objectively, medically different to have sex with someone who also has sex with men than it is to have sex with someone who only has sex with women. Doctors do not ask you questions about who you sleep with for no reason. You are, based on objective medical research that will not go away no matter how mad you get at it, at higher risk of contracting an STD if you have sex with a man or a woman who has sex with men. If that hurts your feelings to hear, the best course of action for you is to stop pushing lesbians' boundaries until they are forced to say things to you that hurt your feelings.

[thoughtkick]

“Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness.”

— Mandy Hale

[la-vache-intrepide]

If you dress like a sex doll in public, then why shouldn't the rest of us treat you like one. You are what you do.

[dailymanners]

If someone opens up to you and shares a story or vents about a time they were mistreated or disrespected, now is the time to listen and show compassion. It's not the time to one-up or flex about how you think you would have handled the situation. It's also not the time to lecture them on how you think they should have responded, or to shame them if you don't think their reaction was adequate or assertive enough.

For example, your friend opens up to you about the time he tried to have a nice dinner out with his partner, but restaurant staff were being racist/xenophobic and refusing to seat them, so he and his partner just left and found somewhere else to eat. Now is not the time to flex "Well if that were ME I wouldn't have just taken it and left, I would have totally put the staff in their place and not tolerated that!"

Or, for example your co-workers tells you about how she went to the grocery store last night and right as she was about to check out someone aggressively cut her in line, now is not the time to shame her / put her down with a response like "What, and you just took that? Oh come on you can't be such a pushover!"

First of all, you don't actually know how you would have responded in these situations. You don't know if you would have actually frozen or fawned in these situations. Many people do, even if they don't think they would. And that's okay. People don't just decide to freeze or fawn, it's an automatic reaction. Stopping behaviors like freezing or fawning can take years of therapy, not just a belittling lecture from a friend or co-worker.

Or even if someone didn't freeze or fawn, they just made the conscious choice to avoid a confrontation. That's also okay, and not your place to shame them. People can have all sorts of reasons for wanting to avoid a confrontation, such as not feeling it's safe, or feeling like it will just make the situation worse.

Second of all, responses like this can come across as belittling and generally insensitive. Even if you don't mean it that way, it can come across as though you're trying to insinuate that you think the other person is lesser than you for not reacting how you think you would have reacted. When someone has already dealt with being mistreated the last thing they need to is be lectured or put down, it's rubbing salt in the wound to respond insensitively when someone opens up to you about dealing with mistreatment.

Instead, show compassion. Tell them they didn't deserve to be treated that way, and what the other person did was wrong. If they're being mistreated by a boss or co-worker, kindly remind them that they have the right to report the behavior. Or if they're being mistreated by a classmate or teacher, kindly remind them that they can speak to someone at the school about it.

You can kindly remind them that in the future they're allowed to stand up for themselves in these situations, if they choose to, but don't lecture them or shame them for not responding how you think they should have.

[dailymanners]

#i feel like these ppl view being aggressive/violent/confrontational as morally righteous by default

I think you're probably onto something there.

This is just me spitballing based on some of my observations, but I feel like a lot of people conflate bravery/heroism with being aggressive/violent/confrontational and aren't able to distinguish between the two.

I also think misogyny could play a part in this, but I fully acknowledge that could be a reach. Being aggressive/violent/confrontational are traits generally stereotypically associated with men, while being passive and non-confrontational are generally stereotypically associated with women. And people often do hate traits and behaviors stereotypically associated with women while idolizing traits and behaviors stereotypically associated with men.

Of course there are moments where it is brave and admirable to take a stand, such as if you see someone else being harassed and/or bullied and you decide to intervene. But you don't have to be aggressive or violent about it especially if it's risking your safety, for example pretending that you're friends with someone you see being harassed instead of yelling at or punching the person bothering them (which could be putting your and/or the person you're trying to help's safety at risk)

[dailymanners]

I also think this is pretty likely for a lot of people.

Although honestly even with this reasoning I still find it annoying and inconsiderate when people do this because it still feels like they're prioritizing their own comfort and ego over the feelings of the injured party right in front of them.

[dalniente]

I have learned to ask "advice or sympathy?" before responding to people who seem like they may just be venting, or (hopefully) to catch myself and ask before I get too far into a response. If someone is simply hoping to feel heard and validated, offering solutions comes across as patronizing and self-centered.

Sometimes it is obvious that someone is simply venting, in which case comfort & demonstrations of sympathy are of course the equally-obvious response. But other times it is less clear. Thankfully, asking has generally been well-received, in my experience.

[dailymanners]

I've gotten a few replies like this about this being a matter of advice vs sympathy, but to be honest I don't agree that this is a matter of advice vs sympathy.

If a friend or co-worker vents about say, someone cutting them in line at the store, and you actually wanted to help them by giving them advice, a genuinely helpful way to do that would be "You know you're allowed to speak up when someone cuts you in line, right? You don't have to tolerate that." That's the type of response I'd expect from someone genuinely trying to be helpful by actually giving advice.

Giving a response like the examples I talked about above, like "oh come one, don't be such a pushover! I would never tolerate that! I don't take shit from anyone!" doesn't seem like advice to me. I don't see how talking to people that way helps anyone. That just doesn't seem like the words of someone who's trying to be helpful in anyway. That seems more like the words of someone who's getting defensive because they want to convince themselves, and whoever else is around, that bad things won't happen to them because they're too "tough" or would do the "right" thing or whatever, that bad things only happen to "weak" people like the person venting to them.

[dailymanners]

Another tip, if someone vents to you about being mistreated, if your first instinct is to defend the person who mistreated them, reconsider if that's appropriate or necessary.

Riding off of the examples above, if your co-worker tells you she went to the grocery store last night and some guy aggressively cut her in line right before she was about to check out, if you want to answer "well have you considered what kind of night that guy was having, or maybe he was just in a hurry, hmm?" re-consider if that's appropriate or necessary, or if the guy having a bad night or being in a hurry actually justifies him cutting others in line without even asking or apologizing.

Again, re-consider if a reply like this is actually helpful, necessary, or appropriate. Maybe you think it'll make the other person feel better, but more often than not trying to justify them being mistreated will make them feel worse, especially when there's not actually any good justification or excuse for the treatment they received.

[haveuevermetme]

sometimes politicians in order to prove a point do experiments like work as a waiter for a day, use a wheelchair to navigate around the city or survive a month on minimal salary. i think every politician who believes sex work is work, who is actively pro sex work and pro porn, who protects pimps and doesn't give a damn about trafficking should do an experiment and become a sex worker at the brothel for a day. they should show people how it's totally normal to be raped multiple times a day, get ptsd, get infections, get cut of more than 40% of their paycheck, not being able to say no to people they don't like and don't want to have sex with, not being able to say no to humiliating sexual practices they don't want to do, not being able to get back to a normal job if anyone finds out about the past, and so much more. let them show how nice sex work is, let men lead the way they so desperately want.

they don't want to be a sex worker? but why not? after all it's no different than working in mcdonalds.

[pisceanpharies]