irony

meh I miss tumblr

[leshermes]

June 1st is TOMORROW. It means that GAY PEOPLE will exist, but only for ONE MONTH. Do not forget to buy your tickets to see them NOW, or else you will have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR to be able to meet them AGAIN.

[geminipdf]

me when a fictional woman decides not to get an abortion

[laptopped]

Original text posts are a lost art

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[laptopped]

Who's all the rage on this site nowadays?

[argumate]

don’t like it when I’m about to board a plane to America and discover it just came from there not one hour ago and is getting sent straight back, like please put this girl in the stables and give her some oats, rub her coat till it shines, she’s earned a rest

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Also there's the fact that having just escaped America, she has to return to America.

[pisshandkerchief]

"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)

"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game

[laptopped]

you’re a cutie pie and i want to try a piece

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet. 

he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years. 

Icon. 

[lesmiserableslove]

don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him

[histry-buff-deactivated20170618]

Hey quick question what the fuck

[urulokid]

the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is

[butchious]

victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years

[lollytea]

My cow had a baby IF YOU CARE!!!!

[lollytea]

Lets glare at the intruder with Mama

[aggot]

the guy who wrote greek mythology

[segamascott]

[bat-bestie]

how am i supposed to function under these conditions [sleepy]

[transtarks]

“you have to stop buying every mug you think is cute” what’s that? i can’t hear you over the sound of all my mugs clinking together in the cabinet as i try to find space for this new mug i bought

[mrsterlingeverything]

Ariana is japanese again

[mrsterlingeverything]

No one even gaf

[aflo]

We don't have time for this

[whitepeopletwitter]

[twofacedbitchesneverlie]