This is it.

This blog has no theme. Am I sorry? Nah.

[fantasising-about-escape-blog]

[ratbrick]

OHMYGOD. 

Why would there be a bottle of wine on the stove?!

[iwritewithaposionpen-hasmoved]

WTF Barbie you can’t use a cutting board for a bulletin board

[dirtinthenails]

BARBIE! you should know better than to leave a cheese grater on the edge of the fridge! someone could get hurt!

[swanofmischief]

Um, okay, DOES NO ONE REALIZE THAT BARBIE is cleaning her kitchen floor with a garden hose? Get it together, Barbie.

[radical-sin-deactivated20140212]

OH MY GOD BARBIE! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE THOSE DIRTY DISHES IN YOUR SINK? SERIOUSLY GET IT TOGETHER BARBIE!

[enregize-deactivated20180729]

…Seriously?

People. Wow. Open your EYES.

Is NOBODY going to point out how Barbie is CLEANING HER FLOOR

IN

WHITE

PANTS???

[arsenalqueened-deactivated20150]

CLOSE THE DAMN REFRIGERATOR! YOUR LETTING ALL THGE COLD OUT!

[underneath-corktrees]

Barbie, seriously? The blender on top of the fridge? You could get hurt!!1

[murdock]

Guys for the love of god how can you not notice the freaking rat next to the fridge?! WTF Barbie? Clean your house more often, would ya?

[girlyghosty]

Barbie, who the hell puts a calculator on their fridge. COME ON! GET WITH THE TIMES!

[strawberryoverlord]

I love how everyone pretends not to notice the toaster next to the sink. BARBIE! YOU COULD GET ELECTROCUTED IF THAT FELL IN! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER GURL!

[offvocalremade]

what the hell is wrong with you people???!?!?!

omfg how can you not notice the fact the fridge has three layers of drawers on the bottom? what the fuck?? barbie fridges dont work that way im sorry

[aeolus06]

SERIOUSLY?!! YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK! CAN YOU SEE THAT A SERIOUS CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED HERE?!!

THAT WALLPAPER! IT’S HIDEOUS! Get a freakin’ sense of style, woman!

[politenuclearbomb]

theres a dead body

[a-hello-to-you-too-deactivated2]

OMG why does she not put the bread away. She should put it in the pantry so she could have more room on the counter.

[discount-frank-iero-deactivated]

ITS THE ORIGINAL POST IVE ONLY SEEN SCREENSHOTS

[manhood]

HELP

[vincent-van-gtg]

[fitnessdesire]

Can’t risk it

[laderdesders1]

The duck of creativity. I waited so long for it.

[sweetpea-imagines]

I need creativity rn

[conniebbyscandycane]

Same.

[levi-ish]

I’m a writer, so…

[lateralusvoid]

I’m falling apart and I just want to end it. I’m tired of piecing myself back together. I can’t anymore

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[maxofs2d]

we don’t have anything like this in French and it offers a range of expressibility that I wish we could properly translate back. it is a feature, i concur

[greelin]

no offense but sweet dreams are literally made of this and.. who am i to disagree

[assigned-cryptid-at-birth]

op literally travelled the world and the seven seas but go off I guess

[linz3-deactivated20180909]

Everyone in this post is looking for something

[wellyfullofale]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[thequeenofsunflowers-deactivate]

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

[samstarium]

so this guy at school has a 3d printer and he’s been secretly selling these

kirbies with legs

and i got mine today

here’s the handmade package

i open it and

oh

[khadidon]

Alicia keys be like…

[khadidon]

AT SELF CHECKOUT LIKE…..

Instagram: @Khadi | Twitter: @khadidon

[amethyst-transwoman-deactivated]

In 2018 we refer to donuts as “nut”, examples “hey do you wanna grab a quick nut there’s a new nut shoppe nearby” and “i love a good nut in coffee, i always dunk my nut in the coffee”

[princetpenguin]

i donut think this is a good idea

[amethyst-transwoman-deactivated]

What’s wrong with it

[scarred-and-purrfect]

Idk I could go for some nice nut rn

[hotdemonladyluna]

Please i don’t want to wake up to this

[scarred-and-purrfect]

who doesn’t wanna wake up to some nice, fresh nut in the mornin

[amethyst-transwoman-deactivated]

I sure do want to get my morning started with some fresh nut in my mouth

[haiku-robot]

i sure do want to get my morning started with some fresh nut in my mouth

^Haiku^bot^6. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Meep morp! Zeet!

[kalgalen]

[it-was-ady]

Food $200 Data $30 Rent $250 Things I buy because I’m depressed $3,600 Utility $100

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

[jadesaidshedneverchangeherurl]

buy more things because you’re depressed

[it-was-ady]

Okay

[hyrude]

i was in a thrift shop the other day and they were playing the most unsettling variations of normal christmas music, culminating in this rendition of the 12 days of christmas except it was like 12 guys all singing over each other and going “no!” and interrupting the lyrics with random other phrases until they deadass just started singing 5 golden rings to toto’s africa. can anyone confirm that this is a real song and not that i stroked so hard i astral projected into a universe where everything is somehow worse than it is here

[flaminggoosememe]

https://youtu.be/2Fe11OlMiz8

I remember listening to this in grade school. I am going to go get some Chinese food.

[pizzopaps]

this is what my anxiety attacks sound like

[tchrgleek]

Oh I needed this laugh this evening. Thank you so much.

[honeysucklepink]

In case anyone didn’t want to leave Tumblr and just hit “play”

[won-der-land89]

[allahdiyenbagetx]

[lateralusvoid]

I want to move on from this world. Come back for me..take me with you

[panatmansam]

[recaption]