OH NO

Things have not gone according to plan. Mid 20s. I've seen two centuries and I intend to see a third.

[ooppo]

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

[ooppo]

not that i care

[ooppo]

[parawyrm]

More from that one post

[parawyrm]

[parawyrm]

[parawyrm]

[parawyrm]

[lunnefisk]

harry dubois would end death note in one episode. he'd be unkillable bc he has no fucking idea what his name is and then he'd go drink driving and accidentally run light over and the killings would mysteriously stop

[sylvansylvain]

Harry: Kim, what's following that kid?

Kim: ...

Harry: What?

Kim: What are you talking about?

Inland Empire [80%]

Looks like you're the only one who can see it.

Harry: The... bone monster?

Kim: The bone monster.

Harry: Yes. The bone monster.

[rockergiirl]

THE BONE MONSTER - As you approach it grins, watching you watching it.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Good morning officers."

YOU - Continue looking at the bone monster.

THE BONE MONSTER - It tilts its head to the side quizzically at you.

YOU - Tilt your head in response.

THE BONE MONSTER - It begins leering over you, grinning even harder.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - The kid turns towards you.

PERCEPTION [LEGENDARY: SUCCESS] - For a moment he looked at the bone monster, and then to you.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Is there a problem, officers?"

KIM - "You will have to forgive my partner, he has quite an active imagination."

THE BONE MONSTER - "You hear that? I'm just a part of your imagination."

INLAND EMPIRE - I don't think he's a part of your imagination.

[meow-moment]

This man... He can see Ryuk? But how? The only explanation is that he touched my Death Note, but I've had it with me all day! Did he sneak into my room last night while I was asleep? But, all my security measures were intact... And he seems confused, is he putting on an act? Let me see if I can...

"Pardon me officer, I don't think I caught your name?"

"Uh, well that's the thing, I, uh, don't actually remember it at the moment."

Damn him! He knows I need a name to kill, and now he's taunting me! He can see Ryuk, too, so one wrong move could end me! I might have to make the eye deal at this point...

---------------------------------

LOGIC [Medium, failure]: This bone monster is obviously Kira. You are fucked.

Try to make Kim see the bone monster. [Suggestion, Legendary]

Attempt to arrest the bone monster.

Put yourself between the bone monster and Light.

Ask Light for some money.

Try to play it off as a joke and leave quickly. [Composure, Formidable]

[transcyberism]

> Attempt to arrest the bone monster

PERCEPTION [EASY: FAILURE] - You can't tell what gender it is.

YOU - "Excuse me, sir-- or, uh, madam?-- Bone... person..."

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs, a deep, gutteral sound, like air escaping from the lungs of a corpse. As its jaw moves, you can see rows upon rows of sharp teeth inside its gaping maw.

COMPOSURE [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - You stand your ground and manage not to freak out.

YOU - "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the police station. You... uh, match the description of a suspect... I think."

THE BONE MONSTER - It lets out a loud, phlegmatic belly laugh. "What are you going to do, arrest me?"

AUTHORITY - Damn right you are. Cuff him.

YOU - "Yes, as a matter of fact, I will. You are under arrest on suspicion of being Kira. Put your hands forward, wrists together."

KIM - "How exactly are you going to handcuff a hallucination, Detective?"

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs again, like this is the funniest thing in the world, before obediently sticking out its arms.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - His eyes go wide and his face goes pale as you place the cuffs on the monster's wrists, before his gaze darts to Kim.

KIM - He is staring at the cuffs. He looks bewildered. "Are those handcuffs... floating?"

-----------------------------------

Shit! Ryuk, why did you have to comply?! Is this a game to you? No matter... They still don't realize that I'm Kira, not Ryuk. All I have to do is stay calm and act surprised. I'm sure Ryuk can just escape later, once he gets bored. And this other cop obviously can't see him, so it seems it's only the first one who has touched a Death Note... I just need to make it seem that he's the only one who can see Shinigami. Then I'll seem innocent, and he'll be the suspicious one!

"How did you do that? Is it some kind of magic trick?"

--------------------------------------

SHIVERS [Heroic, Success]: As intimidating as it looks, the bone monster isn't the real threat.

Deduce who the real Kira is [Logic, Godly]

Ask Light what he knows about the bone monster.

Tell Kim I-told-you-so.

Convince Light you are a sorcerer [Drama, Impossible]

Ask Light if he has any cigarettes.

[behindnightmaresanddreams]

I don't know shit about Harry's universe but I wanna see where this is gonna go. I vote cigarettes next.

[optimisticlucio]

[ospreyonthemoon]

Someone wrote a fic where he hit light with his car. It is a brilliant piece of coding and fiction.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I'd HIGHLY reccomend it- there's only one chapter, really (the second one exists purely as a workaround to make something that would otherwise be a popup into a link because its way too long to be a popup) and its 32,000ish words.

Its fun you should check it out

[sigmaleph]

game with the conceit that you are a swarm of medical nanobots injected the patient as an experimental last-ditch effort to save their life. you can expand your swarm and create all sorts of specialised bots, but all the resources to do so are ultimately from the patient's body, so if you drain them too much they die. you are fighting against tumour cells, though, who have no such concern, so maybe sometimes taking too many resources for yourself is better than giving it to the cancer?

envisioning the gameplay as divided in stages, the first one being just 'get rid of all the cancer cells before the patient dies', where you have to balance aggressive expansion to improve your capabilties with not throwing the patient's vitals too out of whack, researching better 'weapons' that kill cancer cells faster or with fewer deleterious health effects, etc,

then a 'solidifying' phase where the cancer is gone, but the patient might be in poor health and you start building systems to catch opportunistic infections, automated systems that respond when something about the patient is off (fever, low blood pressure, broken arm, whatever), and some rudimentary communications capability. not enough of whatever mineral in your resources? you could communicate with the little wearable medical device the patient has on their wrist to tell them to change their diet! or, y'know, you could give them a craving for a specific kind of food. either works

and then in the third stage, you really go deep into host manipulation and host cooperation mechanics. you can make your host superhuman, get messages from them about what changes they want to their body and implement them, and in return they do things for you. change their diet, buy a better communications interface, tell all their friends that medical nanonbots are great. or you can effectively turn them into a zombie, just a vessel for the bots. or split the difference, and make the patient want specific things that the swarm can easily provide to build 'trust'.

yes this does mean you can induce your host to want to be a girl and then be really happy with you for speedrunning their medical transition

[malignedmare]

trans women seeing themselves in someone and being honest about it and encouraging someone to transition is not “transvestigating” i will kill you so hard

[malignedmare]

“transvestigating” is a transmisogynistic harassment ritual that cis people carry out to further the stereotypes of predatory trans women. i will kill you

[is-it-transmisogyny]

It is transmisogyny to see transfems see themselves in another person and try to help that person because the potential alternative is suicide and instead say that those transfems are perpetuating violence.

[joshlovesyou]

[salmonballer]

a masterlock? bro you are practically free-use

[pupperish]

whats happening on beatles stan twitter

[hardwrench]

my friend mir made me read this thread at the john lennon memorial

[kimpining]

this bit. immense. more vast than the sea.

[tax--payer]

[tax--payer]

i fucking love you

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[villainessbian]

*screams of a witch burning at the stake*

THOU ART CURRENTLY LISTENING TO

*Gregorian chanting*

13.21

*leper bell ringing*

HIGH MEDIAEVAL FM

*recording of John Lackland sobbing as he signs the Magna Carta*

WHENCE COMETH NAUGHT BUT LITURGIES

LITURGIES

AND MORE LITURGIES

*Templar knights praying out loud*

THIS ISN’T THY GRANDMOTHERES STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

[prokopetz]

Even folks on the pro-porn side of the aisle often talk like it's the presence of narrative that makes porn an art form, as though the erotic needs to be explicitly justified in order to elevate it from the mere mechanical production of arousal, and it always makes me feel like maybe we're not quite as "pro" as we think we are.

[prokopetz]

I once saw a video of a woman staring expressionlessly into the camera while jerking off a strap-on the size of her own forearm and wearing panda themed one-piece pajamas complete with little bear ears on the hood, and I feel like it would have been lessened as art if it had attempted to explain itself.

[walmart-the-official]

Hey, don’t cry. Free online database of Japanese folk lore

[bleu-guacamole]

Might I add, free database of mostly European folklore and myths

[bogleech]

A Book of Creatures by @a-book-of-creatures doesn't update these days but is another thing along these lines, really huge, fully illustrated all by the author and cites all sources

[katinguele]

Reblog this

[seat-safety-switch]

5-RebeccaSue Metahearst, my editor at Better Homes & Gardens, was now shrieking at me so loud her biomemetic antigold earrings were becoming incandescent. It reminded me of when I was a child, when the space shuttle exploded with Big Bird on board.

"You can't put the words FUTON FETISH in 150 point type on the front of the magazine," she explained patiently but at a volume exceeding maximum safe worksite levels. I slapped my watch to keep it from automatically filing a lost-time complaint with the union metamind.

"We already took the photos," I gamely explain. "It's like a high concept art piece. Hugh wanted more of that."

5-RebeccaSue's jewelry pulsed with nightmare light as she removed the photo proofs from the envelope. In each picture, a scantily clad model was performing a pantomime of a crude act with furniture.

"It's gender balanced," I babbled.

[kaczynskis-deactivated20210616]

[callmebliss-got-swamped]

I clicked fearing it would be Out Of Touch but, instead, it is perfectly splendid

[leftboogerarbiter]

ID: video of a lone frog on the edge of a patio facing a grass lawn in the dark of night while it rains heavily. Halo 3 ODST's track 'Deference for Darkness' plays over the video, giving a deep melancholic feel, as the frog jumps into the grass.

[infertilityidol]

woahhhh a floor beef clover it must be my yucky day

[prokopetz]

I had an appointment with my doctor today, and for the full twenty-odd minutes I was sitting in the waiting room they had a song on loop whose chorus was just someone repeatedly chanting the phrase "run from the sunlight, Dracula". I think this experience has altered my brain chemistry.