8 + 1/2 + 3/4 + 3/4 a mess

the hogwarts school of dumb bitchcraft and misery

[huffylemon]

[the-one-eyed-seer]

[alexaloraetheris]

Wildlife biologists are there to keep the balance in check. And sometimes that means they need to tip the scales with violence.

[frankendykes-monster]

[eden-has-rotted]

me: chat what do we think

the angel and devil on my shoulders: can you not call us that please

[assiraphales]

brendan fraser broke down in tears bc a film he’s involved in (the whale) got a six minute standing ovation, and I just can’t stop thinking about 1. how happy I am for him bc he’s one of my forever faves and 2. how badly he’s been treated. this is an incredible moment for him, but it’s important to note that it comes after years and years and years of his aging body being CONSTANTLY compared to the peak of his physicality/youth. the endless videos and posts (from tiktok to magazines to twitter photo sets to texting your friend about how hot he used to be) talking about his glow down and how he let his looks go to “waste”. it’s taken him this long to break thru his personal trauma and the internet’s correlation of his “worth” w his appearance. and now he’s in the news crying bc people are once again witnessing his talent, and measuring him by that instead of his weight

[gayrandalgraves]

in order to combat the homophobia "allegations" I think chris pratt should come out as bi and fabricate an entire fake narrative about him and chris hemsworth being lovers (chris hemsworth starts going by hemmy so that they aren't a chris4chris couple). pratt says that they wanted to tongue kiss on the set of the new thor movie but big marvel silenced them, and #ShowtheKiss starts trending on twitter in support of their brave statement. the two of them get so caught up in this lie that it persists for several years, culminating in them getting married as a publicity stunt before chris pratt ultimately breaks down and comes out as homophobic, divorcing chris hemsworth and posting several angry twitter threads insulting him. instead of coming clean though, chris hemsworth doubles down on the lie and releases a very emotional notes app tweet about how chris pratt shattered his heart during this stressful and complicated divorce. he says that he can no longer go by "chris" or "hemmy" because both of those names remind him too much of his lost love, so he starts going by "sworth" exclusively to cope. of course, the internet collectively loses their shit over the situation and chris pratt's name is permanently ruined as a result, since he has now been labelled the man that made it so sworth can never love again.

[tagfer]

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

[walterwhite58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[johngreen58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[peggyhill58]

I hope Hank doesn’t find out about my meth business lmao

[huffylemon]

he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

[boy-and-girl-crazy123456]

no this counts i think

[pseudophan]

mads mikkelsen and robert pattinson need to do a movie together just because the promo interviews would be chaos personified

[pseudophan]

don't hide this in the tags say it loud and proud

[smilingformoney]

Interviewer: So what makes this film good?

Rob: It sucks.

Mads: I haven’t seen it.

[saintcolumbiformes]

Worst thing ever in the whole world is when a thunderstorm is forecasted and then it doesn’t storm. literally so rude I was excited for this all day.

[notkatniss]

bringing back this classic

[jakeyp]

[call me by blondie playing] THE STEVE HARRINGTON BABYSITTING SERVICE

[businesshag-deactivated20160606]

I HATE how tumblr brings up your old tags as you’re typing a new tag because I really don’t!! Want to remember!!! Some of the things I’ve said on this godforsaken site!!!!

[borkyno-deactivated20160330]

tag this post with your first result you get when you type will

[amygdalae]

[lacrimalis]

i’m putting this in the strongly worded email i’m writing to the dean of the college of science and humanities

[odinsblog]

[amateur]

[campyvillain]

lin manuel miranda as a 3 year old would rap things like “Googoo Gaga mama I don’t mean to cause much drama but I’m under goin trauma from what’s underneath my bed, there’s a monster sized iguana and it smells like marijuana i know it’s fake but i don’t wanna see it messing with my head” or something

[badlich]