Back in 1994, I had a dream in which an old high school friend was getting off of an airplane, and I greeted him with a kiss of welcome. It was a really incredibly vivid dream, but I hadn't seen this guy in a few years, and last I'd heard, he had moved to Maryland where his mom lived. I called a mutual friend to see if she had his phone number in Maryland, and she was like "Oh, he moved back down to Florida months ago. He's at his dad's."
I got in touch, and our friendship was just as close as it had been in high school. We started hanging out, and through his support and encouragement, I was able to leave the purely toxic relationship I was in at the time. He didn't save me, mind you! He simply became my best friend again, and when I said I wanted out, he knew I was strong enough to do it and let me know that he was happy to give me any help I asked for.
In the summer of that same year, we started to talk about getting married, and eventually, we told our families and started to plan a wedding. Or....my mom started to plan a wedding. I started to have stupid amounts of anxiety about money, about a wedding....yeah. All that.
On October 26th, we were at my Dad's place for his birthday (Yes, my daddy's birthday was yesterday!), and I was stressing out over the wedding thing. My dad, being my dad, said something about eloping, which didn't sound so bad really. In theory. My mom and I had words about the idea of elopement, and they were not friendly. No, I couldn't elope or my mom would stop talking to me. So, we went to bed that night, and I cried in my best friend's arms.
He started plotting.
The next morning, when we got up, my husband-to-be suggested that we find out what we needed to take to the courthouse, and we did. It wasn't just a good solution. It took one of the scariest things in my life and turned it into an adventure. Because that's the man I married. (No joke. On Monday, we went on a grand adventure just by going out to breakfast and catching a movie. This is what our relationship is like!)
That morning was 27 years ago. It's been the best adventure I could have imagined, and I'm lucky enough to still be living it. I married my best friend, and I love him more each and every day. He is my life partner and fellow adventurer. He and my daughter are the very best things about my life.
And if you've read this far, congratulations! It's my anniversary!
MYTH: Americans set off fireworks on the 4th of July, in honor of our Independence Day
FACT: Americans set off fireworks from approximately June 20th—July 20th, for no reason other than this is the time of year that you can literally buy them at any grocery store
I’m gonna be real here, I take neurotypicals’ opinions on “weird” people far more seriously than I take their statements of support for me or for autistic people in general.
Like your opinions on furries (putting aside any sexual connotations) are HONESTLY a better litmus test of whether you are a safe person for me or any autistic people than your opinions on Five Year Old Boy Disease.
No one would think it was funny to bully an Autistic Child™, and you don’t think bullying Autistic Children™ is funny! That’s horrible! But when I say that story about a “weird kid” you knew that got bullied isn’t funny, you’re like “Well…that’s different! She was really weird, I mean she MEOWED at people!”
Yup. “Of course I support you, autistic person, but look at this guy over there being weird!”
So what you’re telling me is you’re supporting me, who is autistic, as long as I don’t behave autistic. Got it. Bye.
I’ve added this note before but I don’t put aside “sexual connotations”. If you happen to find out someone’s into a “weird” sex thing or something you think is a weird sex thing (which happens a lot to furries who are immediately assumed to have a fetish for it), it’s still not okay to make fun of them for being “weird”. I wouldn’t feel the need to make these comments but A. people on tumblr are really on that puritan shit lately and B. there is very much a cultural problem of infantilizing autistic people and acting like the idea of an autistic person having a sex life is wrong and inappropriate.
I get frustrated with the idea that it's okay to make fun of ANYONE regardless of what you think is "weird" about them. Every single one of us has our own set of difficulties, quirks, traumas, issues, etc. It's why I put so much emphasis on treating others the way I want to be treated, regardless of what might make them different or "weird" from my point of view.
I do this, because I have noticed when I'm accepted and treated like an equal by someone else, I like how that feels. Everyone deserves to feel accepted and on equal footing.
As long as you believe you are one up on someone else, because you "know how to act in public" or you're "normal", you are setting yourself above them. You believe you're BETTER than them for whatever reason. It makes you less compassionate, less kind, less of a decent fellow human being. It makes you ugly in a way that really counts against you.
I grew up in a family full of people like this. I was lucky enough to find a SO that never judged himself 'better than' anyone else. He doesn't need to be one up. He's happy living in a world of people who are all on the same level and deserve to feel accepted. He taught me a better way to be just by being the person that he is.
He never saw the freak that my family sees. He just sees me, accepts me, treats me with respect. There's a healing in it, and that healing is something I want to pass on to everyone I meet.
Stop vilifying adults that live with their parents.
We’re still deep in one of the worst economic recessions of modern times. For many of us its not a choice but a requirement in order to survive. For many of us we have disabilities that make finding accommodation that suit our needs a lot harder and a lot more expensive.
Many of us pay into the household. Many of us are trapped in abusive households because we don’t have the means to leave. We aren’t moochers or afraid to leave the nest. The world simply isn’t built to support us anymore.
This is actually an incredibly western (and specifically American) thing. In a lot of other countries and cultures it’s NOT AT ALL uncommon for an adult to still live with their parents. As a second generation immigrant, it’s BEWILDERING to me. My cousin still lives with our grandmother; it’s important. She needs someone to watch after her, and she has the space… why wouldn’t he?
This obsession with “adults” being “fully independent” of their parents is a fully American, bizarrely capitalist notion and it needs to be stomped into the ground.
It lets people access scientific articles for free. This is dangerous. It helps the free flow of knowledge and reduces the competitive edge of all the people who worked really hard to have been born into a wealth.
Like, it’s literally a website where you can type in the DOI of an article and read it, without ever having to pay the publisher who exploited the author.
So, again, do not, under any circumstance, use Sci-Hub. I mean, can you imagine a world where knowledge is free and easily accessible to everyone? Even, y'know, poor people?
Libgen also has many books online, including textbooks, searchable by name, author, and ISBN. Can you imagine textbook companies not getting their hard-earned income from poor college students? Here is the link just so you make sure that you never accidentally stumble across this horrible, unethical website.
Oh, and while we’re talking about books, if you’ve managed to stay clear from Libgen, definitely don’t go to zlibrary, where you can also find a lot of textbooks, but unfortunately they’re completely free.
oh and in case none of those HORRIBLE sites dont have the article you need, DON’T email the author of the paper. They aren’t paid by the publishing company, and will give you the paper for FREE. HOW HORRIBLE
Has anyone else who plays MMO's noticed that the male players who say that strong female characters are hot seem to be the same idiots who are unable to handle a strong female player?