For Lack Of Anything Witty To Say

One day I'll be interesting, today is not that day...

[moth-amphetamine]

thought I was going to a concert to see the cure ? but it was actually placebo??? fml

[the-big-mood]

At Toba aquarium in Japan, after closing time, some clever little otter pups help their grandpa tidy up their toys. As a reward, he gives them ice cubes

[my-castles-crumbling]

Okay but imagine someone makes a “what MLH hockey players are you?” quiz and Ilya of course tells Shane about it, saying it’s “so funny,Hollander, it is so accurate, I got me and Marley got himself, and annoying rookie got Pike!” So Shane, bored one night, decides to take it and—what the actual fuck?—he gets Ilya as a result.

They fuck about it later.

[important-cat-pics]

[nothingmancy]

This is not an internet choice question that is super relevant to the way I engage with fiction personally but notably this poll presupposes that “going canon” cannot include What Happened to Queliot. There are ways in which the monkey paw can curl that many aren’t aware of unless they were in a specific place in 2019

[the-semicolonoscopy]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[punissuer]

ID / TL;DW: young Black man explains the history of voodoo dolls: they originated in England, where Black people where prohibited from learning to read or write, to help witches keep track of what ailed their patients. Eg., person goes to witch and laments headache, they treat their headache and make a small doll (called "poppet"), trying to represent them as good as possible, stick a needle in its head and put it up a shelf. When they return next week, the witch takes their poppet and asks about their headache. If it's gone, they remove the needle, otherwise they know they have to treat a rather persistent headache.

[tartrazeen]

I'm just gonna freeze-frame this for everybody:

[my-dailydreams]

[tidewalker77]

in Maine sheep are released on offshore Islands in spring to graze for summer. With no natural predators on these islands sheep thrive. To be corralled up and brought back to the mainland in early fall.

[cmesinz]

Seafaring Sheep travel to their Private Island Paradise for the Summer.

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[so1987-deactivated20230102]

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

[dailypattondoodles]

Oh.

OH

[lurlur]

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

[viralfrog]

[dragongirlbunny]

[slowlikehoney1996]

If your lover lives in Hong Kong and cannot get to Chicago, it will be necessary for you to go to Hong Kong. Perhaps you will spend your life there, and never see Chicago again. And you will, I assure you, as long as space and time divide you from anyone you love, discover a great deal about shipping routes, airlines, earthquake, famine, disease, and war. And you will always know what time it is in Hong Kong, for you love someone who lives there. And love will simply have no choice but to go into battle with space and time and, furthermore, to win.

James Baldwin, Nothing Personal

[navpike]

someone should make a list

[jimmysownworld]

i love the “hollanov has a crush on carter vaughn” take not necessarily in a “i think they would invite him to watch” way but more in a “ilya would accidentally let it slip while chirping at shane to fluster him that vaughn is at the top of their ‘would’ list and vaughn is a little thrown off and straight so he’s like “are you guys asking?” and ilya laughs and pats his shoulder and assures him “absolutely not, i do not share my shane, we just think you are good looking man, i like that you are pretty and fun and my shane likes that you are serious about hockey and have good grooming habits. is not serious, do not worry vaughny we will not be asking you to witness me and my beautiful husband ever” and vaughn low key is overjoyed about it, his teammates who are around and hear the exchange are sometimes like “that doesnt bother you? you dont find that a bit weird?” but vaugh genuinely is just like “rozanov just called me pretty and fun enough to hang out with and hollander thinks im good at hockey and clean enough for him, you could hand me a nobel peace prize and it wouldnt come close to this achievement” and eventually it gets out to the general public so vaughn is captioning his instagram posts shit like “#1 contender for being the hockey husbands third goes fishing” despite shanes mortification about this getting out and vaughns clear delight with it” way

[komorebigold]

Uhhh. How'd that happen?

[More Comics]

[komorebigold]

Made a tumblr exclusive edition of the comic. Just for the haha funnies... not any other reason.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.

[writing-prompt-s]

A demon has cursed you with the inability to have children or form a family, and as soon as you learn of this you went to tell the witch who you promised your firstborn child, as this clearly will prevent you from fulfilling your side of the deal.

[mothnem]

The witch just nods and calls her lawyer Fae. Even demons need to learn to not infringe on deals.

[madeofmanyfandoms]

Lawer fae: "After reviewing all of the documentation, I'm happy to inform you that there is a very simple solution!" 😀

Witch: And that is?

Lawer fae: While we can't remove the curse ourselves, your deal predates it by a significant margin. And since the curse interferes with the deal maker's ability to fulfill their end of the agreement through no fault of their own, you would be well within your rights to demand that the Demon either remove the curse or pay the price instead!

[anoonzee]

Coming up next on "UNSEELIE COURT"...

[nobodyfamousposts]

I think we need a show like this. Either serious court drama or Ace Attorney shenanigans showcasing civil cases involving magical or supernatural beings and the deals or curses they make.

[marinella-ela]

[leafstem]

lets lay down with baby

lets lay down with mama

lets lay down with mama

lets lay down with mama