Fuck Hate, Spread Love, Love Yourself

LGBTQIAPD+ positivity blog | all identites welcome | NSFW, TERF, biphobic, transphobic, homophobic, enbyphonic, aphobic, anti-LGBT+, and general assholes do not interact | they/them | trans | neutrosis fluidflux nonbinary | aceflux and demipanromantic

[realtransfacts]

Fact #986: Your dysphoria will not be the end of you.

[ftmsupportblog]

i hope every single trans guy and or trans masc of color is having a wonderful day

[realtransfacts]

Fact #954: Women and nonbinary people can have beards. Even if they don’t want to. No matter what reason you have for keeping it, or what reason is preventing you from shaving it, your gender is 100% valid.

[the-official-account]

AND WOMEN WHO ARE AFAB CAN ALSO HAVE BEARDS

[realtransfacts]

Absolutely! Never said they couldn’t :)

[plume-clinic]

Here’s a little information about Testosterone! ✨ Testosterone is the cornerstone of testosterone-based gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT), which uses synthetic testosterone. No singular gender identity is required for testosterone-based GAHT. But generally speaking, it is commonly prescribed to trans men, and trans masculine, non-binary, and intersex folks.

To learn more visit getplume.co And another huge shoutout to the amazing @megemikoart for creating these graphics for us!

[that-loud-femme]

Not so gentle reminder that:

Trans wlw can use any pronouns.

Trans wlw can be Gender Non Conforming.

Trans wlw can use terms like femme, butch, stud or chapstick to describe themselves.

Trans wlw don't have to "pass" to be wlw.

Trans wlw can be poc, fat, neurodivergent or have disabilities.

Trans wlw are worthy of love, respect and belong in the wlw community.

None of these matters are up for debate.

PS: This post is inclusive of trans feminine people.

[ash-and-art]

One argument ive seen by big names online about Boys In Skirts that pisses me off is "you cant tell who's safe for queer folks anymore" and like. I hate to be the bearer of bad fucking news but THAT WASNT ALWAYS CLEAR FOR EVERYBODY

How many times have supposedly safe spaces turned out to be toxic, full of pick mes, and DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS to some of us?

Let the cishet men wear skirts, you dont need to be able to visibly sort people into boxes. Requesting we stop allowing gender expression to blossom because you want to let your assumptions guide who you interact with instead of investigating.

"but ash, investigating can get us killed" yes im FIRMLY aware of that. Im not trauma dumping on this post but damn if i havent been in some situations where ive been put in danger trying to see if someones safe (they werent)

But anyway YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW WHOS QUEER BY LOOKING THATS HOW WE GET KILLED WITHOUT TRYING TO INVESTIGATE

[toothmuncher3000]

viewing queer identities as “this is the label that makes me happy and feels most accurate now” rather than “this is who I am, was, and always will be” will definitely take the pressure off, friends. changing your mind is proof that you have one.

[im-gayer-in-french]

Friendly reminder that your understanding of yourself changes and it’s ok to change your labels to reflect that.

[lesbogyny-deactivated20220911]

If you care about our gay male community please read.

You probably have seen this flag around if you're active in online queer spaces.

I've seen many people, especially gen z on Tik Tok/Instagram call it a "furry pride flag" or even worse, a "beastiality/zoophilia flag"

Please, STOP.

This is the BEAR BROTHERHOOD FLAG.

This flag was created in 1992. It's older than me, and older than most of you on this app. It represents bears, an identity that belongs to gay men and their community, just like butch and femme belong to lesbians. However gay men identifiers usually describe a body type more than a way of presenting.

Bear describes a gay male who is usually chubby with a strong build and very hairy.

It has nothing to do with being attracted to animals.

Those are the two otter flags.

Otter is also a gay male term that describes a body type.

It has also nothing to do with being attracted to animals.

Please learn your history.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

A quick reminder: Your vote is your voice. Don’t throw it away.

I know that it can feel like “politics” is this abstract, far away thing. But the decisions politicans make affect your everyday life in a profound way - especially when you’re lgbt+ (and/or part of other marginalized groups, like people of color or people with disabilities). Think about marriage rights, access to health care for trans people etc. - all those things are poltical issues that affect your safety and well-being.

- Learn about the voting process (Are you allowed to vote? When and how do you need to register to vote?)

- Keep up with upcoming elections (What are they about? Who are the parties/people you can vote for?)

- Read about the stances of the parties/people you can vote for, and think about your own stances (Don’t blindly believe that whoever your parents or friends vote for is a good choice. They may have very different priorities than you do, especially if they’re all straight/cis!)

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad 

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

P.S: Reblogging this for my German followers - the Bundestagswahl 2021 is getting closer. If you want to learn more about the parties you can vote for, check out the Wahl-O-Mat. 

One additional piece of advice for this particular election: There are wonderful tiny parties with great ideas - but I personally do not recommend voting for them. They don’t have a realistic chance anyway. I think it’s safe to assume that on this blog we all have the common goal of making sure we don’t end up with Nazis and facists - so, we don’t want the AFD. Your vote for a tiny party could go to one of the big ones who actually have a chance against the AFD. 

[genderqueerpositivity]

(Image description: Valentino Vecchietti's design of an intersex inclusive Progress pride flag, overlaid with white and black text that reads "The future of pride is radically inclusive".)

"Intersex columnist and media personality Valentino Vecchietti designed the new rendition of the rainbow Pride flag. The flag was officially unviled by the advocacy group Intersex Equality Rights UK in late May, but has since spread virally on social media.

The proposed design builds on Daniel Quasar’s instantly iconic 2018 Progress Pride flag, which added a five-striped chevron to the left side of the flag representing LGBTQ+ people of color and the trans community. (Quasar’s design, in turn, was an update to the city of Philadelphia’s 2017 Pride flag, which added black and brown stripes above the six rainbow stripes.)

In Vecchietti’s rendition, a purple circle superimposed over a yellow triangle has been added to the chevron on the left half of Quasar’s design — an homage to the popular 2013 intersex flag designed by Australian bioethecist and researcher Morgan Carpenter.

The intersex community uses the colors of purple and yellow as an intentional counterpoint to blue and pink, which have traditionally been seen as binary, gendered colors.

There’s a deeper meaning behind the circle, too. In a 2020 video for Intersex Peer Support Australia, Carpenter explains that the symbol of the circle is “about being unbroken, about being whole,” adding that “it symbolizes the right to make our own decisions about our own bodies.”

The Progress Pride Flag Is Getting an Intersex-Inclusive Makeover

The ever-changing Pride symbol has been revised again.

[amal-a-deactivated20231017]

Remember that trans WHITE people can still opress cis black people. Trans WHITE people can opress trans black people. Calling them out for doing so doesn't make you a terf.

Getting real sick and tired of white people of the lgbtq community using their sexuality & gender oppression as a shield for when poc go to call them out. Also??? Them mugs will do any and everything to distance themselves from their whiteness, and thats annoying too.

[nothorses]

Really getting tired of people's push that trans men don't face violence... When we have one of the highest rape statistics.

It's really starting to feel like the whole 'rape isn't that bad' shit because people want to prove trans woman are more oppressed. Rape and murder statistics shouldn't be compared on which is worse, they should both be worked on equally :/ idk

Yeah, I get the sense it’s less that folks don’t view rape as being “as bad” as other forms of violence, and more that they don’t know it happens at all.

Invisibility is genuinely one of the biggest problems we face as a group, and it ties into everything; including acknowledgement of the violence we face, and even the studies that do exist around us specifically.

Folks who don’t talk about those statistics, or don’t factor them into their arguments, are definitely guilty of not listening to us or educating themselves on our experiences- but they aren’t guilty of actual rape apologism unless that’s what they’re doing.

That said, I went through the 2015 U.S. Transgender Study and pulled some of the statistics for sexual assault:

[The graph is measuring lifetime sexual assault by gender identity. 51% of trans men have experiences sexual assault in their lifetime, compared to 37% of trans women, with AFAB nonbinary folks experiencing the most at 58%.]

[The graph is measuring lifetime sexual assault among trans men by race/ethnicity. 71% American Indians have experienced sexual assault, which is the highest number; compared to 47% overall, and 52% of white people.]

There’s some other categories trans men & AFAB nonbinary people have higher rates of discrimination or violence in:

AFAB trans people in general are most likely to be denied HRT (32% of trans men, 36% of AFAB nonbinary folks).

Trans men (57%) are most likely to be denied surgery coverage, with the next highest being trans women (54%).

Trans men (42%) are also most likely to have negative experiences with healthcare providers, with trans women as the next highest (36%).

Trans men (31%) are most likely to avoid care out of fear, versus the next highest- trans women (22%).

Trans men (54%) have the highest rate of suicide attempts with the next highest being trans women (40%).

Nb folks (71%) and trans men (62%) were more likely to report having never or only sometimes been treated with respect by law enforcement than trans women (51%).

Trans men (52%) are more likely to experience problems with airport security than trans women (31%).

Trans men (75%) are more likely to avoid public restrooms than trans women (53%) and nonbinary folks (53%).

Obviously this doesn’t mean trans women don’t face “as much” oppression, or that we shouldn’t care about their oppression as much as- and in fact more than- we currently do.

It just means that there are areas where trans men, and transmascs in general, do struggle more than we acknowledge. It means we need to stop allowing this idea of “transmasc privilege” to go unchallenged, and it means we need to be doing more for AFAB trans people than we currently are- as a community, and as a movement for trans people.

[nothorses]

I’m seeing a lot of weird claims in the tags here, and I’m incapable of shutting up, so I’m just gonna address a couple things.

1. “I feel like these numbers might be skewed” or “I find some of these hard to believe”

The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey is linked in the post as the source for all of these statistics. It was published by the National Center for Transgender Equality, conducted as an anonymous online survey (available in English and Spanish), and included 27,715 respondents from “all fifty states, the District of Columbia, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, and U.S. military bases overseas”. All of this information (and much more) is available in the first few pages of the PDF.

If you don’t think these numbers match up with your expectations, ask yourself why that is. Think critically about what you did expect, and why- and then ask why you felt you should make that claim in the tags of this post rather than seeking out the “correct” information yourself. How much does it have to do with the exact expectation I was challenging in this post?

2. “I don’t like that this is framed as a competition”

Neither do I! In fact, I chose my words carefully in this post to challenge the idea that this needs to be any kind of competition at all. My point was, explicitly, to bring attention to issues that are often ignored- and ignored because people assume that transmascs cannot struggle “more” than any other trans group.

I went out of my way to clarify that none of this means anything about “who suffers the most” or “who needs the most support”. I went out of my way to make it clear that I was just drawing attention to some problems that deserve more attention, without pitting any group against any others.

So ask yourself- why did you think it was a competition? Why do you view a neutral, unrelated explanation of struggles unique to trans men & AFAB nonbinary people as a “challenge” to trans women?

Is it because you feel that if trans women don’t suffer “the most” in all ways, and aren’t “the most oppressed” in all ways, we can’t still care about their problems as much as (and more than!) we currently do? Because that is making it a competition.

[manstrans]

[Alt: A reply to this post that reads “anon is literally transmisogynistic” END]

“Trans men’s struggles are just as important as trans women’s struggles” isn’t transmisogynistic. There are a lot of people who disregard transmascs in favor of transfems. We are both equally important and we should be treated as equally important. Being tired of being swept aside is valid.

[manstrans]

[Alt: A reply to this post that reads “trans men will make oppression a competition to get mad at trans women for talking about their oppression and then say trans women are the ones making it a competition. men are men, TME’s are TME’s </3” END]

This post never said trans women are the ones turning it into a competition. The original post specifically said that trans women’s struggles are just as important.

The problem isn’t trans women or trans men, it’s specifically people who refuse to let us speak about our own experiences without us prefacing it with “I know everyone else has it worse than I do” or constantly remind us how ‘privileged’ we are when we don’t make any disclaimer

The point of showing these statistics is to debunk the scarily prevalent thought that transmascs aren’t as oppressed as other trans people

It’s a thought that people of every gender minority hold, even other trans men!

If statistics about the struggles and oppression trans men face make you uncomfortable, that’s okay! But sometimes you need to think about why it makes you uncomfortable.

Are you upset that trans men go through these experiences unjustly? Or are you upset that trans men aren’t as privileged as you thought, which would make it wrong of you to treat them the way you do?

[nawhun]

This is what transmisandry looks like. Trans men and transmasc people are not lying when we say we are mistreated by others in our community, and that we struggle with extreme discrimination.

Suffering is not a competition.

We should not have to bend over backwards to apologise for talking about ourselves.

[strigla-deactivated20210906]

We as a community have GOT to stop this bullshit “you’re not as oppressed as me, therefore you deserve no resources!” etc bullshit.

the gay community did the same thing to bisexuals, just blatantly chased them the fuck out, and all these years later bisexuals are doing like twice as poorly as gays in every possible statistic.

Why? Intra-community biphobia!

Transmascs and AFAB nonbinary people have swiftly become The New Bisexual, the new queer spectre everyone despises, and if we don’t cut this shit soon uhhh we *are* going to be the “more oppressed”. That’s exactly what happened to bisexuals.

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

This week we are talking about Queerplatonic Relationships, aka QPRs!

[ID: Two images with light yellow backgrounds, black text, and the TAAAP logo in the upper right corner. Both images show graphics of people engaging in various activities, such as dancing and talking. The first reads “Queerplatonic Relationships. Queerplatonic relationships purposefully blur the lines of commonly accepted relationship dynamics. They don’t fit into the categories of what is traditionally considered to be a friendship or a romantic relationship. Every queerplatonic relationship is defined by those participating in it, and therefore may look different, but they often include some level of commitment.” 

The second reads “Queerplatonic Relationships. Things not to say about QPRs: That’s just a friendship. That reduces a friendship to something basic and places it in a hierarchy below other kinds of relationships. Don’t do that. While it may overlap with friendship, it may feel different to participants, and you shouldn’t dismiss or demean that experience. That’s immature/lacking/incomplete. People in QPRs might have other relationships that fill other needs, but QPRs can still be valid and important. On the other hand, if someone’s only significant relationship is a QPR, that does not mean they are lacking any kind of human connection.” End description.]

[bauliya]

the idea that being closeted is being a liar is a heterosexual propaganda that hates queer people protecting themselves. you don't have to come out if you're not safe.

[bisforbutch]

You also don't have to come out if you are.

[ijaazat]

this isn't a big deal but stop letting these gays on social media guide you. nothing is gay culture. everything is gay culture. no need to buy fugly clothes and pins just because. if you don't wear rainbow top to bottom you're still a part of the community. clothes can be used to be a means of expression of your identity, but they're not a tool with which to focus on one part of you in a way which is easy to consume for others. it's a beautiful sentiment to find togetherness in this community, of course, but you can do that by being friends and being there for each other and by being a good person. help others. that's the meaning of community. not cold coffee.

[politijohn]

ICYMI - Huge news!

[marlbororeds100s-deactivated202]

PrEP, the HIV prevention pill, must now be totally free under almost all insurance plans

The federal government announced that almost all health insurers must cover PrEP with no cost sharing — for the drug itself and for clinic v

^link to the article for further info & accessibility

[zevveli]

Just so ya'll know. They're gonna loophole this which is why we have to spread this information. I work at a pharmacy and I can tell you that a lot of these insurance companies only "Cover" them. Here's what has been happening: You go to your doctor to get PrEP, they write a prescription and send it to the Pharmacy. When you get there they tell you that insurance isn't covering it. You say that the law says that they have to. They say that it will, but not through THEM. The insurance company says that they'll only cover it through a "specialty pharmacy" (which on the one hand, fair enough, NIOSH standards for drugs state that if you are handling the pills then there are specific forms of PPE you need that we at retail do not have, but on the other hand that doesn't matter if we aren't opening the freaking bottles) which will then either mail it to you or ship it to the pharmacy to take it out of the box, scan it in, and bag it. Which is what we'd do normally anyways except with the added step of making you wait 2-3 business days to get it. And because technically they "cover it" it's not a law violation. But they're hoping that you'll not want to wait and just pay the $3000 out of pocket.

[me-myself-and-bi]

For any of my US friends out there 👍💡

[budgiesmuggled-deactivated20210]

Interview With Jamison Green. Originally posted on Youtube, by Dr. Lindsey Doe.

TRANSCRIPT: [Jamison Green sitting on a couch, being interviewed by Dr. Doe. He is wearing a suit shirt and a black jacket, and has a grey beard.] JAMISON: When I first transitioned, I thought I was going to go get a sex change, then go home and mow my lawn. I did not ever imagine that my life would change at all, because already people- at least half the time, sometimes more- thought I was male. And so, I figured nothing was going to change, I would just feel more comfortable in my body. I realised that there were all these other people out there who were living in fear and shame, because of their differences. And I thought, that is not right. And so I said to them, I’m going to start using my full name in public, and I’m going to start talking about who we are. Don’t be afraid to change in all kinds of ways. Your self can change. [Jamison and the interviewer high-five.] INTERVIEWER: I’m impressed by what you’ve done. JAMISON: Thank you. END TRANSCRIPT.

Jamison Green was born in 1948. He came out as a trans man the late 1980s and made his transition public, for the benefit of others. He has been an activist since then, and led the FTM community after Lou Sullivan’s death.

His contributions to trans rights have been largely erased by mainstream narratives around trans history.

Mr. Green wrote the book Becoming a Visible Man, exploring his experiences as a bisexual trans guy, his relationships with lovers and family, and his struggle to transition. He was involved in the 2012 documentary TRANS, where he advocated on behalf of trans people, and discussed his experiences with being s*xually assaulted.

[im-the-punk-who]

Original Video <3