Wanted to verify/thought this was interesting so I dug up some more about him!
"The day his sister said 'I think I'm a boy'," Sunday Pictorial, 01 Apr 1956
"Bridegroom was a woman months ago," The Province, 11 Jun 1957
"'Ex-science mistress' marries," The Birmingham Mail, 11 Jun 1957
Note: Two of these articles were reported in newspapers across America, Canada, and England: the first (in OP post) and the third.
Sadly, I don't have access to an Ancestory subscription right now and I can't find the birth date or death date or place of burial for either him or his wife, or if they ever had kids :( Newspapers.com results drop off sharply after 1957 so this is all I could find
If anyone does, I would love to see what you can find!! Although, based on censored information Ancestory WILL show me, it looks like he lived as Donald Bury until the end of his life :]
Katherine Ainsworth Liddle Bury past away in 1977 in Congleton, Cheshire, England. She was 58. She was cremated and buried in a churchyard I frankly can't read the name of (below). She was a school teacher until she died.
[IMG ID: Excerpts of the death registry for Katherine Bury. The first column, for the district in which death was registered, reads "Congleton." The second column, which recorded how ashes were disposed of, reads: "Buried [unintelligible, potentially "HowCap"?]. Churchyard." /end ID]
She was survived by her husband Donald Oliver Bury:
Evening Sentinel, May 20, 1978
[IMG ID: BURY (Katherine Ainsworth) -- With dearest memories of my beloved Kay. I shall be with you in spirit until we meet again. -- Ever your devoted Don. (Jeremiah, chapter 31, verse 3: Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love.) /end ID]
Her husband continued to teach, eventually reaching the position of headmaster.
Don Bury passed away in a Cypress Court Nursing Home, Crewe, Cheshire, England in 2001. He was 84. He was also cremated, this time by Newcastle Crematorium. It's unclear if there is a grave marker anywhere or who would have taken his remains.
It appears the Bury's lived a private and quiet life in Cheshire until the end of their respective days -- a decision that I can't help but respect after having Donald's transition blasted in newspapers at home and across the pond.
I would also like to add that their 1957 marriage, reported on in the papers as a quiet affair, was indeed legally binding and officially recognized. This was something I was doubting because it was very hard to find documentation of!
Amazing work by our girl Kitty there. "Everyone is saying I'm gonna marry him now but I am not going to marry him, y'all." [proceeds to 100% marry him within literal months of this declaration and stay with him for the rest of her life]
Okay but do you understand the TREASURE TROVE of reading a fic you enjoy and then looking at the author's page and discovering they have written multiple just like it?! That is the ultimate score!
a few people have asked for a list of the movies— it’s in the original tags in order of appearance and with some random thoughts of mine, or you can find it here on letterboxd! <3
Because someone is on the ball, Turner Classic is playing (among other WWII films) The Great Dictator today.
If you haven't seen it, please do. It was produced by Charlie Chaplin in the late 1930s, when it became clear that the war was going to happen, and came out in 1940 after it had started. Essentially, Chaplin realized that his famous mustache was about to be usurped forever by a fascist, and that fascist was going to kill a lot more people in the future than he had already.
It's a parody, made before the worst horrors of the Nazi regime were known to the general public, so there is discomfort here (if you've seen Disney's Der Fuhrer's Face, you'll get the idea), but the movie ends with Chaplin essentially saying "fuck it, no one else seems to be speaking out about this and I'm going to use my platform to do that."
For context, this character is a Jew who has been mistaken for the dictator (for obvious mustache-related reasons), and has been sent onstage at a rally to give a speech. Instead of trying to impersonate Hitler, he says what he really thinks. And keep in mind, Chaplin was coming out of semi-retirement for this. It was the first time most people had ever heard him speak, and this is what he said:
Transcription: A video of Charlie Chaplin giving a speech in The Great Dictator, as outlined above. This what he says:
"I'm sorry, but I don't want to be an emperor. That's not my business. I don't want to rule or conquer anyone.
I should like to help everyone, if possible. Jew, gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other's happiness, not by each other's misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there is room for everyone, and the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful.
But we have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men's souls, has barricaded the world with hate, has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want. Knowledge has made us cynical, our cleverness hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little.
More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life would be violent, and all would be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in men, cries out for universal brotherhood, for the unity of us all. Even know, my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millionsof despairing men, women and little children. Victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people.
To those who can hear me I say: Do not despair.
The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.
Soldiers! don’t give yourselves to brutes - men who despise you - enslave you - who regiment your lives - tell you what to do - what to think and what to feel! Who drill you - diet you - treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You are men! You have the love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate - the unloved and the unnatural! Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty!
In the 17th Chapter of St. Luke it is written: “the Kingdom of God is within man” - not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you!
You, the people have the power - the power to create machines. The power to create happiness! You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure.
Then - in the name of democracy - let us use that power - let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world - a decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security. By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfil that promise. They never will!
Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfil that promise! Let us fight to free the world - to do away with national barriers - to do away with greed, with hate and intolerance. Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers! in the name of democracy, let us all unite!"
We are all people who can still hear these words. Do not despair. Keep fighting. There is an "after" and it is important to reach and to create it.
what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?
would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?
I'm italian and there's something that people defending this shit don't fucking understand.
they think the “Roman salute” is something unrelated to nazis or fascists but the “Roman Salute” IS the fascist salute. It's not a different concept, it's the same thing!! It's not "good" because it doesn't have the word "nazi" in it, It's the same shit.
And to people saying "He is throwing out his heart to the crowd" tell me if YOU would do it at a 45 degree angle with your thumb tucked in and your fingers closed together. Personally, a throwing motion in my imagination has your palm completely open and your fingers spaced out
Regardless, This is what propaganda is, They do bad thing and then they say "no it good actually" and the population goes "Ok then it's all good" it's not all good, They're making you think it is. It sucks
Politicians gain power through the Ignorance of the people, don't trust people just because "They said it"
I finally got around to doing a close reading of transcripts of the Tortoise episodes, and I am very glad that I did.
My view remains that I find all the allegations both very credible and very damning. The updates to my views are that I feel more positively (though not entirely positively) about Tortoise, and that there is a probable very bad actor in all of this that isn't getting nearly enough attention. (Not Amanda Palmer. Or well, yes Amanda Palmer, but she isn't who I'm talking about.)
Tortoise first.
I'd been seeing a lot of comments claiming that Tortoise was anti BDSM. I don't know what the people in the podcast have as their personal views, but they made a point multiple times to clarify that BDSM does not operate like what Neil Gaimen was alleged to have done, and the condemnation they had for the alleged actions was not a condemnation of consensual BDSM. As someone who has been very involved in BDSM community for decades, I am fully in agreement with everything the hosts have said. The line people got most hung up on was a guest expert snarking about degradation ever being consensual. It is ambiguous in context what definition of "degradation" he is using, but it seemed to me he was referring to processes of establishing coercive control, and not referring to degrading roleplay in a mutually invested, healthily negotiated kink scenario. My remaining critique on the host / guests perspective is that the language around abuse and coercive control used by the hosts and guests often presumes all abusers are male and all victims are female. It doesn't diminish the value of the rest of what they are doing, but I think it is worth being critical of as a side note.
The other big point of concern with Tortoise, which I got major bad vibes off of from day one, was the manner in which they talk about their "understanding of Neil Gaimen's position." That sets off my internal red flags because it immediately prompts the follow up questions, "How did you acquire that understanding?" "Who told you that?" "Why aren't you quoting and / or citing them?" I had been speculating that they were from his side of the communications provided by the people coming forward, or comments from lawyers that weren't being properly attributed. Council of Geeks had a great "Cite Your Sources!" whiteboard moment I would generally agree with.
However.
It turns out there is actually a good reason for the citation fuckery. I think a lot of people missed it, so I'm going to try to explain it. When the hosts are referencing communications provided by those coming forward, they say so. When they are referencing comments by lawyers, they say so. The issue is, the bulk of the time, their understanding is coming from piles of direct emails with Gaimen that are OFF THE RECORD. Journalists have to take that seriously to get to keep doing journalism. They are professionally obligated to NOT cite or quote him when he is off the record. Normally in such a situation journalists wouldn't do this squiggly 'our understanding of their views' thing, they would leave it out entirely to be on the safe side of their professional obligations. Sprinkled through the podcasts are comments about the moral importance of hearing from both sides, the great public interest need to hear from both sides. This is a very snarky justification for the game they are playing of vague-posting the gist of his off the record statements without ever putting the exact statement on the record.
A lot of their snark surrounding that, and some other bits, leave the very distinct impression that Gaimen and his lawyers have threatened legal action against Tortoise several times already. Honestly I hope that they do file legal action, as that would open Gaimen up to discovery. Discovery is a process by which Tortoise would be able to demand access to nearly all documents and / or electronic communications Gaimen has relating to the matter, and in doing so make them public. Discovery is far broader sweeping that what is admissible in court, because it has to be 'discovered' before the court can rule it admissible or not. But inadmissible thigs are still usually public record. A jury wouldn't see them, but we still can. Because of that, it is extremely unlikely that Gaimen will file a legal claim, but again, I truly hope that he does. Tortoise probably does too.
But there is another person deserving of investigation and discovery in all this.
The main focus of my current attention is from a bit in the first episode that jumped out at me. Like, it made my eyes bug out, jaw on the metaphorical floor, and I was shocked that I haven't seen it mentioned. But then I figured, people might just not have the context to know how big of a deal this is. So I'm going to talk about it.
According to Scarlett's account, after she came forward to Amanda, Neil asked her to take a call with a therapist that both he and Amanda see. It seemed like his financial assistance offer to her may have hinged on the call being part of the deal. At first read, it looks like Gaimen strongarming Scarlett to tell his therapist he didn't assault anyone. She does the call, and there is a message from the guy that seems designed to plant the suggestion in Scarlett that her friends are manipulating her into perceiving a consensual relationship as a non consensual one.
To me, that is a five alarm fire. Everything happening in there should not be happening, ever. A person who provides individual therapy should not provide it to both partners in a relationship. A person who provides relationship therapy should not be providing individual therapy to people in the relationship. (They should do one-on-one sessions with each in the context of the relationship therapy but that is different.) A therapist should not be framing things the way they are described in that message, or interacting that way towards someone who is not a client, particularly if they have a conflict with someone who is. Therapists are very aware of the potential for clients to coerce others into saying things that fit the client's narrative, and should not be encouraging them to try. And all that is before we even get to the part where he seems to have been tasked specifically to gasslight Scarlett into mistrusting herself and blaming her friends. By Scarlett's paper trailed account, this person should be facing very serious repercussions and investigation. According to Tortoise, he has not responded to any of their attempts to get in touch with him, and he has a phone that is set up to not accept voicemail.
The name of this alleged professional is stated in the podcast, so I looked him up. He is most widely known as an author. His first professional descriptor for himself is as an executive leadership mentor. That more or less translates to person who gives expensive pep talks to rich people. He is also a minister, and a 'consultant.' He does call himself a therapist, but he has no degrees, background, or training in psychology. His degree is from divinity school. He does not list any professional qualifications or certifications in mental health, he does not list any memberships in any mental health organizations. He did co-found an organization that appears to have put on motivational seminars for a variety of organizations. His 'client list' was last updated in 2012. His website has features that are only accessible by those who are 'fully committed.' He is based out of Arizona, USA.
Searching for his name + therapist will get you to a podcast episode with Amanda Palmer, where she had him on as a guest, described him as a therapist, her therapist, and her and Neil's relationship therapist, and promoted his books. It was recorded in 2019, and it is utterly vapid and out of touch from the both of them. Searching his name + therapist will not get you any information on his work as a therapist, because he is not a therapist.
He can't get stripped of his status as a mental health practitioner, because he isn't one. Tortoise states that he has protected confidentiality to Neil and Amanda. If he does have protected confidentiality, he has it solely through his status as a minister, not as a mental health professional because again, he isn't one. As a minister, he may have greater client privilege than an actual mental health professional, who would be required to break privilege if they have reason to believe their client is a danger to themselves or others. Religious client privilege is very strongly protected in most of the US even if the client is explicitly planning to commit specific acts of violence. This might be the main selling point to people who choose to work with ministers who pretend to be therapists rather than actual therapists.
Scarlett doesn't have confidentiality much less privilege by any avenue, his communication with her did not form a professional relationship despite the ways his message seemed to blur those lines, which would have left him free to pass on whatever she said to Neil and Amanda. That would also open the door for him to corroborate what Scarlett told him to the media, but my impression is that if he can be contacted, he will cite a duty to his real client, Neil Gaimen, to avoid saying anything. This is one of many reasons why real therapists do not take clients who have potential conflicts of interest with their other clients. I can't tell from the content of either podcast to what extent he may have materially represented himself to be an actual mental health professional to his clients, but if he has done so he absolutely should be liable if not culpable for that.
I would like to see this man investigated to hell and back, but I don't know if anyone in the media is going to bother. For anyone who needs to hear it, do not go to therapy with someone who isn't a licensed mental health professional. Do not have the same individual therapist as your romantic partner(s). If you are setting up couples therapy, it needs to be with someone who has never met either of you before, and you make first contact with them as a unit.
Obligatory this is all personal opinion disclaimer. The internal states of public figures cannot be determined or scientifically evaluated by their public statements / appearances / works / ect... I am not the behaviour panel, nor do I endorse that kind of thing. But under certain circumstances I am willing to put out some personal opinions about what certain actions, if they happened, would seem to suggest.
I've been saying for a while now, the allegations paint a very strong and compelling picture of Gaimen knowing what he was doing and engaging in deliberate strategy even if he can make pocket experiences for himself where he gets to believe that the relationships were real. I think the evidence pointing towards Gaimen having a long running pseudo 'therapist' he is comfortable sending his accusers to talk to, who then encourages the accuser to think their friends are controlling them, speaks to how deeply this approach to life can saturate a person's existence. When I say 14 represents a lifestyle choice, these are the kinds of things I'm talking about. Someone who fucked up and made a few grievous errors, and did soul searching, and is trying to do better doesn't send their victims to their on call professional gassligter with religious privilege who they outsource to. This looks like 'life revolves around finding ways to control and silence people' level shit.
As is tradition we held our annual "Batshit Aussie Moment of The Year" poll on twitter this month, and as is also tradition it was a complete dumpster fire and we ended up having to delete our account again. Such is life, as the French don't say.
Nevertheless we had a lot of great nominations from what was truly a year full of the utmost topshelf batshittery which we shan't be letting go to waste. So we preset:
Batshit Aussie Moments of The Year, The Now Undemocratic Countdown
Leading the nominations there was of course Raygun, the little Aussie PHD breakdancer that couldn't. Recently she has trademarked her name and there was a whole lawsuit around using it so no further comment on that.
Dr Ray was followed close in second place by Australia's former Deputy Prime Minister being filmed drunkenly making phonecalls while sprawled across a sidewalk.
This glorious video saw the good people of Australia rise to the occasion with all the pisstaking the moment deserved, complete with chalk crime scene markings, a plaque being installed, and a candlelight vigil held by locals.
Also making a strong showing in the polls was Australia's richest woman Gina Rinehart pulling a Barb Streisand by demanding her unflattering portrait be removed from Australia's National Art Gallery, which of course made it immediately go viral.
Lol. Also noteworthy in the nominations was the horse that escaped its enclosure and tried to flee by catching a train, making national news headlines in the process.
But for all those big names/horses who we're sure would love the limelight, the crown title of this year's Batshit Aussie Moment of The Year is being awarded to a regular everyday Aussie (and tumblr user) who fought the system and (almost) won:
After 23 year old Aussie racecar driver Oscar Piastri won the Hungarian Grand Prix, our very own @the-prophesied-mouse "jokingly submitted an e‒petition" to Australia's parliament asking that the day become a public holiday, "assuming it would get thrown out".
Instead their request for a yearly national "Oscar Piastri Day" crossed the threshold of signatures required for a response, being then escalated all the way to the Prime Minister's desk after the responding minister decided it was of utmost importance.
After being sternly considered by no less than three government ministers, sadly in November it was declared that the petition would not be ratified, due to the small issue of the federal government not having the power to create holidays (it's apparently a state thing).
The government did however point out that many national days are celebrated without official proclamation from the Australian government, and so it is, with the powers vested in us by all you loveable weirdos, that we do solemnly declare from this day forth that the 21st July shall be forever known as Oscar Piastri Day, and may all non-believers fear our wrath.
Anyway, happy new year to you all from us here in Aus. Farewell to a truly Batshit year, and here's to no doubt more of the same in 2025. We will leave you with this heartfelt reminder of a true national treasure we lost this year, the progenor of perhaps the most iconic Aussie batshit moment of all time, The Right Hon. Mr Democracy Manifest:
Abusers groom allies as much as they groom victims. When they get accused, they need to have a list of people who will say they could never. They go out of their way to help you. They're funny and charming. They want you on the witness stand in their future trial.
If you got groomed as an ally and not as a victim, you would have no way of knowing who they are behind closed doors and you're not a bad person because you believed them.
The only thing you can do now is decide what to do with the information you have. That's the only part that is your responsibility alone, and you can choose to Sunk Cost Fallacy this shit or you can choose to be better. That is the one choice the abuser has left in your hands, make it wisely.
Sunk Cost Fallacy also applies to how invested you are in an artist's work. How much it defined you. How much it helped you through the hard times. How you imprinted onto these characters and let them share the burden of living with you for a while or a lifetime.
As a veteran of the 2007 Harry Potter internet forums, I am here to tell you that you did that. Neil didn't do that. The lessons you learned, the ways of being you adopted, the comfort you found, you did that. Neil Gaiman wasn't in your library nook or bedroom or study hall or apartment walking you through it. You consumed An Art and applied it to your own life because you are a sympathetic human being who wants to find community with other human beings.
The lessons you learned are yours. They aren't tainted by his behavior because he wasn't in your room telling you how to feel. You were feeling on your own. Take those lessons forward into something new and better.
None of this is an excuse to keep consuming his intellectual property and I will judge you hardcore for doing so, signed, the girl with a HP tattoo who hasn't read HP or fanfic in over a decade.
You don't get to keep it because it was important to you. It was important to you because of who you are, not because of who he is, and you can bestow your precious sympathy and attention somewhere else going forward. I believe in you.
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
theartofmadeline
dededos
areudirty
vaporwave
