My Kingdom for an Intelligent Cephalpod @liljabberwocky - Tumblr Blog

kill the shift manager in your brain

you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax

flagellant

Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)

Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.

I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.

Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese

INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy

INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.

-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.

super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.

METHOD

Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).

Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.

The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.

When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.

When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)

That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.

palisadewasp

outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich

palisadewasp

oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????

tiredshadowscale

oh my god. this is so fucking good. the butter melting and absorbing the spices and herbs already smelled amazing, but then i threw the bread on and it started smelling EVEN BETTER. then i took a bite. holy FUCK this is better than sex. i legitimately believe that Innes Keeper stole this shit from Prometheus, there's no other way to explain why this is so easy to make, yet so FUCKING good, other than cheating a god.

flagellant

I didn't steal it from Prometheus he's my trophy husband!

hyacinthsword

ok me and my partner went back and made this. exact words upon eating were “we’ve cheated god” and “i feel like my world just got rocked” and then we were both energized to get back to drawing. proof:

please make innes keeper’s scientifically proven perfect extremely easy grilled cheese

flagellant

I'M PUTTING THIS ON THE FRIDGE (WHERE I KEEP ALL MY CHEESE)

lexidius

Fuck it I'm gonna make the infamous inneskeeper grilled cheese, I'm suspicious of the honey part working but fuck it let's see what happens

lexidius

i want this sandwich to impregnate me

konzaprairieunofficial

I am nursing a hangover because my neighbors invited me over for a dinner last night that was actually a high school graduation party for their eldest daughter but what it actually actually was was 16 Hindu families getting drunk and having a dance party in the basement teaching me, the Lone Jew, how to do Indian dances and getting me Quite Drunk while the kids watched YouTube upstairs

konzaprairieunofficial

Favorite highlights of the evening:

- my neighbors telling all their friends and family about my landscaping and woodland restoration. I have never discussed this with my neighbors! But hearing last night that it’s been positively noticed and they are so appreciative really did make me feel Quite Good. They also wanted to use my yard for photos because of all my native plant blooms lol and they can’t wait for winter for me to clear out more vines and bramble. The part that really made my heart sing was that everyone said they noticed a distinct increase in fireflies this year compared to last.

- a mom and her smol daughter are introducing themselves to me. Daughter gives me a very English sounding name, mom says something under her breath like “that’s not your name!” And I say to the smol girl “My Anglicized name is ____, but my real name, my Hebrew name, is ____. Do you want me to call you by your real name? Because I’d like to call you by your real name. I can pronounce it, I promise.” And both mom and smol daughter LIGHT UP and immediately ditch their English names.

- all 16 families give speeches about the high school grad and then suddenly I am also asked to give a speech about this girl I know only in passing. Made a joke, crushed it. I am the Cool Neighbor now.

- having Very Bad Scotch with all the men outside discussing Immigration, the Economy, and Agriculture. They were fascinated that I am the one who does all things outdoorsy, that I am the landscaper and gardener and farmer, not my cishet spouse. I give many facts about bats, I have convinced many to invest in saving bats by citing how much money they save Society in crop pest control annually. I give many impassioned talks about the prairies and learn a tremendous amount about rubber trees and rubber tree plantations in India.

- I have been over to their house a few times before this and there’s never ever been any alcohol so I assumed none of them drank but then this One Guy shows up and I am informed that he is The Guy. Next thing I know I have three drinks in my hand of three different liquors and I am thinking to myself “oh OKAY you guys party hard actually”

- when I am inside dancing with all the 50+ year old women, they are Impressed that I am picking up the moves so quickly and I say something off hand jokingly like “my people love to dance too” and then they stop the music and ask me to put on MY people’s music. Imagine it if you will, this Lone Jew, teaching 20 Indian women how to do the hora.

- love is real we have so much more in common than we don’t. People wanted my number to share with me Bollywood movie recommendations. I was sent home with so many leftovers. I love my little immigrant neighborhood. I love the instant Hindu-Jewish solidarity between our communities. It is so very, very real.

konzaprairieunofficial

I think the conversation that stuck me with the most hope was this elderly Indian man and I were in deep discussion about how native plants that produce harvestables should be cultivated and commercialized. And how much of these unique fruits, vegetables, legumes, etc. get lost and when you go to the store, whether in NJ or in India, it’s the same kind of produce everywhere. And talking about how native plants wouldn’t cost as much because they’re already adapted to the ecosystems they’re in. I was telling him about my sandhill plum saplings my mom just mailed me and he was ENTHRALLED. Maybe my real life’s mission is to marry my farming upbringing with my love of native plants and… idk, start a farm/orchard specifically for native cultivars of harvestables foods. I certainly don’t have money for that lol but. Hearing someone from another part of the world also wish the same thing that I do and rail against Big Ag like I was really just. Made me so hopeful.

prinnay

My new oc, the pidge witch 🥨

She uses snacks for spells

charlataninred

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

meraarts

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

eater-of-hopes-and-dreams

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

blitzlowin

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

charlataninred

I am in love with you /p

the-thread-of-the-infinite

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

death-of-the-endless

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

death-of-the-endless

Adding a few more I remembered: 28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests 32. A Faerie taking a Name 33. The Dragon on the Farm 34. Synovus & Menace 35. Raising the Anti-Christ 36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved) 37. Doctors without Borders…in Space! 38. The Villain-Wrangler 39. The Last Contact 40. The 100 Parent-Point Children 41. And the Heavens Wept 42. The Night Gentleman 43. The Serpent God and their Priestess

knottahooker

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

adamskiiii

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

writing-prompt-s

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

ultrainfinitepit

Pride Angels 2024

All my planned Pride Angels for this year's upcoming pin campaign. I will spend the next few months leading up to the campaign polishing these designs, adding shading and so on. Minor edits to be expected. Subscribe to the pre-launch page to be notified when the campaign is live!

Since the polls were close on a few designs, the following alternate designs will be made available as well.

Below the cut is the list of flags and FAQ.

satoshi-mochida

Hand-drawn story-driven adventure game Vivarium announced

Gematsu Source

A currently unnamed studio that consists of creator Michael Nowak and collaborator Trent Garlipp (A Walk With Yiayia) has announced Vivarium, a hand-drawn story-driven adventure game inspired by Love-de-Lic cult classics Chulip and moon, as well as slice-of-life adventure games like Boku No Natsuyasumi, with visuals and audio inspired by 1974 to early 1980s anime and manga. Platforms and a release date were not announced.

Here is an overview of the game, via the developers:

About

Vivarium is a story-driven adventure game set in the world of a terrarium!

Key Features

Gameplay focused on exploration and character storylines—expanding on the RPG town concept from games like Stardew Valley.

Hand-drawn cel-animation graphics inspired by classic anime—akin to Cuphead‘s take on 1930s cartoons.

Story

Jenny lives in a quaint ranch house by herself in the whimsical world of Vivarium. …However, not all is as it seems in the terrarium.

Objective

Jenny finds the giant tree in the center of the terrarium has died—throwing off the balance of the world in Vivarium. However, a new sprout has taken root in its place. As Jenny helps characters, solves puzzles, and grows in her experiences, the tree sprout grows in size.

Characters

“Yulia” the talking Slavic Dog hermit

“Rishi” and “Gunter,” the local shopkeepers

…and more to meet in the world of Vivarium

Game Loop

Explore – Gain access to new locations and characters.

Find Quests – Take on quests and mysteries in the terrarium.

Solve – Solve puzzles with items, conversation, and ingenuity.

Grow and Repeat – Gain experience with your actions, causing the sprout to grow.

World

Explore a dense, hand-painted world in Vivarium—filled with scenery, nooks, and secrets to discover.

Art Style

Our style is inspired by classic animation, especially from 70s to 80s Japan. Vivarium features a totally hand-drawn traditional cel-animation process—reflective of the media it’s inspired by. Every frame of the game is hand-crafted with love! Vivarium‘s environments are rendered in rich, thickly saturated gouache painting. Every area features its own original art assets and highly detailed painted backdrop. Vivarium uses subtle post-processing, lighting, and color grading to achieve a retro-cinematic aesthetic. Hand-placed dynamic day-night cycle lighting. Grain, lens focus-blur, and a cel drop-shadow are all applied in-engine. These effects replicate the look of traditional animation photographed and printed on film.

Watch the announcement trailer below.

Announce Trailer

kalikatze

OP made the post unrebloggable but said it's fine to screenshot and I'm in love with this

sith-shenanigans

@rhianthialritak

fatally-procrastinating-deactiv

Adverbs aren’t evil; said isn’t dead Please stop hitting the wall with your head Active is grand but not always the best Sometimes it’s passive that passes the test Some write with style, others write plain Let’s all agree that writing’s a pain The ‘rules’ can be broken, twisted, or bent All that matters is that you are content Make your own story and write your own way This has been a writer’s PSA

wagnetic

The only writing rules I will accept.

saul-tortellini

hamletthedane

100% Disagree

It’s an underdog story about classism in which the folk hero (Johnny) is confronted by a powerful man (the Devil) who tries to exploit the hero’s perceived ignorance and inferiority by offering a great reward with impossible odds. Although Johnny warns him that looks can be deceiving, and that he’s going to regret the dare because Johnny is the “best there’s ever been”, the devil is blinded by his greed and arrogance.

The devil creates an awful cacophony of technically excellent fiddle playing that would be impossible for Johnny to replicate. It’s a trick.

But Johnny just grins at him and starts to play “simple” classic country fiddling songs - Fire On The Mountain, House Of The Rising Sun, and Daddy Cut Her Bill Off. He doesn’t rise to beat the Devil - he simply creates his own music from his home, in the style that he knows, and his love of it and the familiarity of the music make his “backwoods” fiddling more perfect than the Devil could ever achieve.

It is thus the devil’s pride, not Johnny’s, that allows Johnny to Bugs Bunny his way into a golden fiddle.

(In that sense, I do agree that it is the most American song: in a land of prejudice and inequities, great power lies - dormant but ever-present - in those we underestimate and attempt to exploit.)

cumaeansibyl

Also people initially react to the devil's part like "holy shit that's badass" because he's got electric guitar and bass and a whole backing band to make him sound good. Of course he sounds amazing. But if you drill down to the actual fiddling -- and this is straight from Charlie Daniels -- it's not as technically difficult as what Johnny does. It's fast? But it's mostly just going up and down scales.

Here's a good performance -- the devil's part starts around 2:00. Check out how long Daniels just stands there holding his fiddle while the guitar and piano carry the weight. I love that piano bassline but fiddling it ain't.

It's still an American narrative: if you can afford to hire a bunch of more talented people, you, too, can look like a genius. Doesn't make you one.

the-future-now-deactivated20170

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

dopeluminarydreamer-blog

Reblog if you:

Have an iPhone and are in need of repairs

Have a friend with that problem

Hate Apple and are more than happy to spite them in some way

No one will know which is it

weaselle

This guy inspired me to repair my own macbook. First of all, you should know that I am not… like, I have to look up HOW to look up what my computer specifications are. Tech, that ware either soft or hard, is not a subject in which I experience comfort or competence. But my puppy peed on my keyboard, and I asked the apple store, or the fucking mac cafe, or the godsdamn Computer House Chill Zone or whatever cute ass name they have for their bullshit store, and they said it would be TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO REPLACE MY KEYBOARD. I’m not even exaggerating.

So I asked the internet, well how hard IS it to repair? And I saw this guy’s video, and while I am no techie, I AM fueled by spite, so I was all “oh, they do that shit on purpose specifically so they can charge me $1200 bucks or make me buy a new computer hunh? FUCK THEM” and I bought all the tools I needed for about $25 and I bought all the parts I needed for about another $25 and I watched a few tutorial videos, and I replaced my own keyboard.

So, once you are doing the actual deed, it becomes pretty obvious that they are finding creative ways to make this much harder than it has to be on purpose. On thing that stood out to me is, instead of all the tiny screws being the same size, there are about two dozen very slightly different sizes. They could easily be all the same size, or like, two sizes at most, but no.

These mother fuckers will take a panel that screws into place and they’ll use a different size screw for each corner. They are so close that you almost cannot tell them apart visually, but they each will only screw into the matching corner. Like, it’s a pretty clear “fuck you” to anyone trying to do repairs.

anyway, this guy is also fueled by spite, and doing holy work, and I have mad respect

dragonfox-in-a-teacup

This is awesome. Man is doing good ass deeds 24/7 because he’s giving people control.

dantes-infernal-chili

How dare you not leave a link to his channel, this guy is the savior of the modern world.

illuminopseudonymous

Eat the rich

tytonidyke

These are so fun to make

tytonidyke

@thedisablednaturalist @fagtabulous

Ask and you shall receive!

inthefallofasparrow

tytonidyke

Love your additions! Birds got that drip

tytonidyke

Oh yeah should probably add this one too-

mist-the-wannabe-linguist

I've never done this before

inthefallofasparrow

floral-hydrate

Sorry this is the best post I've seen in a while

floral-hydrate

I'll leave this post alone now

mist-the-wannabe-linguist

This is way too much fun

floral-hydrate

I'm not done yet I suppose

inthefallofasparrow

mapsontheweb

Phonetic Map of the Mouth.

morganoperandi

I remember doing this as a theatre exercise. Make all those sounds, in order, so you can feel it moving further back into your mouth. Then, reverse it.

tinsnip

Oh, *excellent.*

yuleprobablydiealone

You’re visiting your Grandma for the holidays.

Just two cool singles, livin' the life. You want to make more eggnog but you’ve just run out of eggs. Eggnog is what Grandma calls it when she cracks a raw egg into a mug of whiskey. You’ve developed a taste for it. Grandma already passed out. But not before she told you all her favorite folk stories and a single slurred warning — to wait until morning to gather any eggs from the coop “or else you’ll get bit.”

What will you do?

/ I want that nog

/ I’ll switch to weed

radicalreliablerandomness

Podcast Rec Masterpost

I've been asked a couple times for podcast recommendations so I thought I'd post a compilation of some shows and a bit of info about them. Almost every show I talk about is tagged below (I ran out of tags) so you can look through fan content as well if you're not one to care about spoilers. My asks are still open for personalized recs just because I love you, yes that's right! You. The person reading this right now!

Here goes!