I feel like making a sappy post abt PJO rn so here we go!
As the hours go by, it gets clearer and clearer to me that soon, everything will change for the fan base of pjo. And no matter how hard I try to be excited, there is such a beautifully tragic feeling of sadness I get to think about it. About not knowing what will happen when that show comes out.
I never realized just how protective I was of Percy and his group until it was announced that filming had begun for season 1. When I saw Rickâs post, I felt light for a moment, and then a heavy feeling settled in my chest that I still cannot quite describe. The ironic part of all of this is the fact that it has been alarmingly long since Iâve sat to read these books. In fact, the last time I read The Lightning Thief, it was the first time.
It was quarantine, so the mood was already impossibly somber. But what made it such a unique experience for me was the fact that I had depression. My parents had just split which was earth shattering for me, a ten year old, and all I could think about 24/7 was the countless fights they had, their words ringing in my head like a gigantic bell that never did seem to stop. My grandmother (whose house my dad and I were staying in) and my father still had in person work at that point, so I was alone everyday, which gave me all the time in the world to ponder my emotion, or lack there of. I came close to doing unspeakable things, and eventually just stayed inside my room. I hardly ever came out, so hardly anyone physically saw me for a year. I never picked up phone calls, I ate meals in my room, and I spent the day sleeping so that when I woke up everyone in the house would be asleep and I wouldnât have to talk to anyone.
I had completely lost my identity at that point, because since school was out, there was nothing to try at. All of my validation came from my academic performance, specifically my performance in reading. At this time, I really didnât like to read at all. I just didnât love it, my heart wasnât in it, but I did it all the time because all of my classmates and teachers and both of my parents told me I had a gift, and that I was destined to do something with it. And so I read all the time, and it seemed like that was all I did. But now that there was no one encouraging me, I didnât see a point.
Until one day when I was scrolling through a YouTube comments section, and one of the comments mentioned the name Percy Jackson, who I had never heard of before. I looked into the replies of that comment and there was just an endless amount of love there. These people who have never seen each other before all still seeming like a family in their own way, bonding over this book series. I remember wondering why I never had that, with all the books that Iâve read. And then next I remember thinking that I really did want it, and begged my dad to buy me the first Percy jackson book. I was very hesitant because I still didnât care all that much about reading, but I thought that something about this series must be different, if all of these people can bond so much over it.
So I started reading it, and after a couple of chapters, I gave up on it. Because I didnât understand what was happening, and I didnât want to. I thought that the group of people I saw were weird for liking such a boring book. And I didnât pick it up again for about two more month, when my depression was at an all time low. There was hardly anything in my mind except that loud bell, and I was desperate to make it go away. There wasnât anything to do, and I felt like this really was the end for me, that life was always going to be this never ending storm of awful feelings, and I would be lonely forever.
So I did the only thing I thought I was good at, and I read. I sat there for a solid 3 hours and read that book without putting it down and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, because I actually loved it. These characters felt personal to me, I felt like I had known them my whole life. I feel like it was also the first time I had laughed in a while.
Percy Jackson showed me that reading didnât have to be something I did for the approval of others, but it could be amazing. I kept purchasing the series as it went, and by the time it was over, School had started again, and I talked to people every day. My life felt like there was at least a little bit of normalcy to it, and while the bells never really did stop ringing, I now had a whole fandom I could talk and relate with about these books and about life in general. PJO was always like a buoy in the storm for me at that time, and eventually, I read more books. Books that I loved this time. And instead of reading for the approval of others, I read because I didnât want to do anything else.
Eventually with all of these new books, I fell out of the fandom for the most part, but Percy was always there in the back of my mind. So how odd it feels now, to feel like I am about to cry at the thought that a whole new generation of fans is about to storm in, and we will all be there with open arms. Maybe there is a little girl out there right now feeling what I felt, and this show will be there to be her anchor. Maybe these characters will be there to show her what the world could not.
I feel like I sounds silly and over dramatic and maybe I do, but it is all true. This series changed my life in the best of ways, and for that I will always be protective of it.
Even so, I know that we have deserved a true adaptation, the world deserves to see Percy Jackson as it truly is. And even with my fear and my sadness to see this era go, I am so unbelievably excited to see what happens next. So excited to watch and rewatch these episodes with yâall until I canât see straight. So excited to hear what people think of it. I think big things are coming. Good luck Leah, Walker, and Aryan. Good luck to every other actor and every set worker and good luck to Uncle Rick, because with this chaotically beautiful mess of a fandom, you will definitely need it.
