Beckett's emergency solution

Maddi. 29.

[madnessofmen]

idk why but this is very amusing to me. got bored with the small and nearby, looking for the large and very far away now.

[youcanstillwhistle]

I think the "pre" and "post" parts in "preposterous" should cancel each other out but everyone else seems to find my idea completely erous

[damndorothea]

i saw this somewhere else but reply / tag what you did today so everyone can see that we all did something different today

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

I think instrumence should be free for those who are pure of heart

[theelectricdreamsofddx]

u should be able to put ur hand down and let the instrument sniff u and if it smells a beautiful quality in ur heart and spirit that's ur instrument now. stray tumpet follow you home.. bwaa

[tonguethief]

Sniff my hand, sweet bwa bwaa.... You will be safe with me

[shortace]

Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

[buckythepotato]

ngl Black Books is SUCH a wish fulfillment show for me this man owns his own bookshop where he lies around reading all day and gets to yell at customers as much as he wants. As a listless 20-something with service industry experience that is. all I've ever wanted

[d3yeeted]

the companions' current perception of time lords all having titles is so funny to me. like they've only met "The Doctor" and "The Master" and "The Rani" but can you image one of them just pulling up to a time lord meetup and being like,

"So who's that? The Architect? The Captain?"

"Oh, no, that's Irving. He likes art."

[cleowho]

“What are you, a comedian?”

The Trial of a Time Lord - season 23 - 1986

[shittycryptids]

A demon that kills people and leaves a funko pop of them in their place.

[heroofthreefaces]

[allsonargent]

So, who’s going to kill the probation worker? I’ll go and get the straws.

[being-of-rain]

I can't quite believe it, but I have physical copies of Interference now!

Naturally this put me into an Interference mood, so I flipped back and forth through the books, rereading the good parts (which is pretty much the whole thing.) Miles' text is so dense with meaning that every time I do this sort of thing, I find something new.

And this time I found another reason to be emotional about Fitz! 🥹 I haven't seen it mentioned before, so I have to point it out here for anyone else who hasn't noticed it.

So in the first 'Foreman's World' segment, The Lord of the Rings gets a mention.

‘And this Sam person,’ I.M. Foreman cut in, before he could start getting wistful on her. ‘You think he’s connected to what happened on Dust? Is that it?’ ‘She,’ said the Doctor. ‘“Sam” as in “Samantha”.’ ‘Oh, I see. I’m sorry, I’ve just read The Lord of the Rings. “Sam” makes me think of little hairy people with funny accents.’ The Doctor stopped walking. I.M. Foreman stopped, too. ‘The Lord of the Rings?’ he queried. ‘That’s what I said. Is there a problem?’ ‘No. It’s a bit of a coincidence, though. Fitz was talking about The Lord of the Rings the first time I. . . well, never mind. Not important.’

This is a reference to the first time the Doctor met Fitz in The Taint, where Fitz is at his day job making a joke about The Lord of the Rings at a customer's expense (because he's a dick and also a nerd.) Of course, their first meeting also gets a heartbreaking and plot-important reference much later in Interference. But back in the prologue, the Doctor asks:

‘So what did you think?’ ‘Lord of the Rings? Too long. My attention span only stretches to about three hundred pages. I liked the last line, though.’ The Doctor frowned. ‘Just the last line.’ ‘It’s the details that make things interesting.

When I read that, I realised I hadn't actually looked up what the last line was before. So I found my family's copy of The Return of the King. The final page features Sam the Hobbit returning to his home and his family after watching the departure of his travelling companion of many years—just as Sam Jones does in Interference. And the last line is:

He drew a deep breath. 'Well, I'm back,' he said.

And I immediately realised exactly where I'd read that before. So I picked up Interference Book Two, and flipped to the twelfth and final 'Travels with Fitz' interlude—a series which has chronicled the tragic series of journeys that change Fitz forever. It ends with:

‘Are you all right?’ asked the Doctor. The memory vanished as soon as the Doctor opened his mouth. Fitz found himself back in the twentieth century, back in the remembrance tank. He looked up, and saw the Doctor’s face hovering over him, peering at him through the glass panel of the tank. The Doctor was smiling. Fitz thought about smiling back, but it was too much of a strain, really. After everything he’d been through. After coming all this way. ‘Well, I’m back,’ he said.

Goddamnit.

[natequarter]

martha/doctor/master dynamics that would've been funnier than uh. that:

the master doesn't regenerate in utopia and is more of a delgado-style master. in the absence of a suitable jo grant he tries to use martha as a substitute. martha, who has no idea what dynamic he's trying to recreate, is understandably confused.

the doctor and professor yana never run into each other and instead the doctor runs into missy later down her timeline. missy has obviously been stalking the doctor and tries to rope martha into her weird homoerotic homicidal hijinks to make the doctor jealous. it works, but perhaps not the way she intended. martha is really not sure how to feel about having two time lords fighting over her

the master does regenerate into john simm, and immediately starts complaining that martha and jack just can't live up to my dear miss grant :/ martha asks if my dear miss grant is blonde and he answers yes? why does that matter??? her hair colour is elementary, you idiots, the point is that my dear miss grant is far superior to the rest of your kind. jack and martha find this hilarious and he gets mad because he can't understand what's so funny

[battlefem-deactivated20170404]

you wanna see some badass shit from the early 20th century?? The Lumière brothers created the first full color photograph… in fucking 1903! So these dudes dyed potatoes (in red, blue, and green), mashed them down into just pure fuckin’ starch, and used these dyed potato starches as filters to block out/let in certain wavelengths of light. They coated one side of a glass plate with the starches and sensitized the other side with a mixture of gelatin and light sensitive materials (silver nitrate) and loaded these plates in their cameras.. This is a really simple explanation of the process and I may have missed some things A few of my favorite autochrome photos:

[itsoldjohn]

that last one is literally a LOOK

[cassiocantdrink]

yes!

but lets not forget sergei prokudin-gorskiy, who developed a similar process in 1902, published in 1903 and then toured russia to take hundreds of color photographs:

AND the guy developed color slide processing as well. as a person fairly familiar with modern b/w processing at home, but never EVER stepping into color (negatives or slides) territory, i’d say, BAMF to the highest degree. 

[petermorwood]

Here are a few more Prokudin-Gorskiy / Gorskii shots, and a reminder once again that these aren’t recently colourised BW images but original colour photos taken about 120 years ago. Many colourised pics don’t look this good. Some modern colour pics don’t look this good (as I know all too well. “Delete image Y/N? Y!”)

This is Leo Tolstoy, author of “War and Peace” and “Anna Karenina”.

Alim Khan, Emir of Bukhara…

…and his Minister of the Interior.

A Type B-15 steam locomotive…

Another of those peasant girls with guest-gifts of berries…

The Church of St John the Baptist at Staraya Ladoga…

…and a Sergei Prokudin-Gorskiy self-portrait.

Unlike some current selfies ;-> he’s not dominating the image, so here’s a closer shot.

Nice hat…

[polarity-disturbed]

Sorry no, it is REALLY funny to me that in S1E8 of Torchwood (They Keep Killing Suzie), Jack says that Gwen taking Suzie out of the compound is “getting herself fired” like there exists literally any precedent whatsoever for consequences inside this organization

because let us review, in roughly chronological order, the absolutely staggering catalogue of behavior before this action that has apparently not resulted in termination

We are introduced to the entire cast having stolen alien artifacts from work to use in their personal lives, and even after those specific items get returned it’s revealed they ALSO just casually have other stuff. Everyone at Torchwood steals from work like they’re employees at a Spirit Halloween.

Gwen accidentally unleashed an alien organism that killed people through the power of really intense orgasms because she unsafely threw a chisel at another coworker.

Owen used alien technology to stalk and psychologically torment someone outside of work hours which, granted, the guy sucked, but from an HR perspective that sentence alone should have caused the building to implode into a legal singularity.

Ianto secretly smuggled an entire Cyberman into the base, concealed it for who knows how long, continued defending her after she tried converting both the scientist he hired AND Gwen, and somehow retained employment afterward like this was a slightly awkward misunderstanding at a team meeting.

Owen left the keys to Torchwood’s branded SUV sitting in an unlocked vehicle with all of their classified alien tech and sensitive information inside.

Tosh read everyone’s minds without consent and later attempted to sneak her alien girlfriend into the secret underground alien bunker.

and THIS is the environment where Jack suddenly decides “whoa now Gwen, this crosses a line”

my sibling in the cosmos what line.

This organization has the structural integrity of wet cardboard. There is no line. There are vague suggestions of professionalism floating somewhere in the distance like ghosts on the horizon while everyone continues committing increasingly unbelievable workplace violations on company time.

I genuinely do not believe a fireable offense exists at Torchwood unless you perhaps arrive to work on time, emotionally stable, and capable of respecting boundaries, at which point the building itself would probably eject you for not fitting the established ecosystem.

[lordgregpowers]

Should I add to the musical instruments in the house?

[freshphotons]

“Many freeze-thaw cycles over several days caused ice to form and recede, leaving ridges that resemble contour lines.” -Mary Anne White

[lordgregpowers]

Im sure bf could have got a studio audience for this. Im three minutes in and the laugh track is so grating

[lordgregpowers]

Big fan of the names - mentioning graham garden is always fun (i was hoping there would be a reference to the episode of the unbelievable truth with two monks)

The estate agent feels a bit like arthur, but with the voice of maybe the left handed man with the prawn casserole.

I was expecting more jfsp references. I hope that at some point john makes the sound of the tardis but i dont expect this to happen.

I really hope the laugh track is like a significant thing - like as the monk and the nun realise theyre in a sitcom the laugh track decreases.

The speed of the credits made me think john's been taking lessons from cumberbatch

[lordgregpowers]

On to episode two.

Simon's here!!

Somehow every time they say meddling it sounds like middling.

What Business means to me is very beta males. Or that runner about words not making sense anymore - "romeo. Romeo. Romeo. Romeo comr in your tea is on the table."

John and my brother is john - regeneration?

This is an episode of black books.

Is the monk responsible for farage?

The original James pond is buying a balaclava?! Thats the voice of james pond, not david mitchell! Even though james pond was obviously written for mitchell.

Hope we'll get a song from susannah pierce. And im hoping for a ghost story as well. (I know this is from dorney not finnemore)

I know sitcoms need an idiot but bloody hell the monk is really stupid

Every so often this feels like "accidentally listening to a bit of the archers" and the mulligans runners.

Im looking forward to listening to this again after the whole lot is out and re-evaluating it.

Gunpowder plot! Fun reference to previous monk stories

Forgot the apprentice was a tv show, when they said about tv execs using tasks to determine business accumen i thought immediately of taskmaster.

Could big finish only afford two of john simon and carrie in each episode?

The laugh track thing! Here we go. I hope the real john finnemore is a villain in the doctor who universe!

[lordgregpowers]

Really hoping the last episode starts "well, since you asked me how I trapped the same time traveller in a sitcom twice I belive I may have a story you'll find diverting." I know it wont, but wouldnt it be nice

[lordgregpowers]

Now episode 3!

I like the big finish ident this time round.

Is it a deliberate thing that no one can pronounce meddling? It sounds like middling.

I was hoping the laugh track would go. No luck.

Seems like we're ignoring the premise again very early. They both seem to know sitcom traditions and break the fourth wall a lot (7 minutes in). And hound's monk knows whats going on and what words mean again.

"Shes been standing in plain sight all this time" is in a jfsp sketch, im sure. Maybe a well since you ask me.

The laugh track has got a bit better, slightly more natural, but still far too reactive to stuff that isnt as funny.

Oh no, Hound's monk has mistaken one word for another.

Stop deconstructing sitcoms. It is too early in the series for "we're changing thr premise" though obviously part 3 is the traditional location (c.f. stranded)

"My cousins a sitcom character, I know how to deal with situations like this." Kind of episode.

This rant had better be about Busted!

Hound doesnt have control of his language!

John killing people who arent funny! Ooh!

[lordgregpowers]

The end credits music sounds a bit like jfsp series 9.

Is simon really being the voice of reason in this ident?

"What did they do with the body" is sort of ignoring sitcom rules. Nothing changes episode to episode so they shouldnt really remember that Caroline died.

Brilliant! "Hitting a bit of a snag!" Seeing what John (villain) can do with the medium!

Ah, this time we're not remembering stuff. Good!

Do you know what this laugh track is missing? Simon Kane's laugh!

Hound seems more perceptive than Whelan. Interesting!

A magic show! From Hound! I saw the mesmerist that he did in watford last month, it was so good!

Very visual mediums done on audio, you say? Do I have a Guy Kelly podcast for you! (Mime on a podcast, or audio described at acms. Go on, find his stuff on bluesky.)

Now Whelan's taking things literally and misunderstanding things.

The organ reminds me of Bill Bailey's Hey Hey Were the Monks.

Hound's recognising John! Brilliant! And now the vicar is losing his accent!

"I dont have to forgive anyone. For anything." Ooh! Is this a villain statement? I bet John's been affected by one of the monks plans and now wants revenge.*

Well, I saw Hound cut a woman in half about a month ago, he knows how to do this!

"That was barely even a joke!" I suppose its good to know the show agrees with me on this.

"What the panopticon is happening here?" Obviously relates to the situation (in a sitcom, noticing the audience) but the Panopticon is part of Gallifreyan politics. Would the monk really use this phrase?

Again, Hound takes the lead on working out what's going on. Is this a meta commentary on radio 4 sitcoms?

Would we have got this series if the monk was played by someone who isnt/wasnt also a comedian? If Hound didnt play the monk.

Are the monks planning on hiding from the time war? With the living on earth?

Will Simon and Carrie be in episodes 5 and 6?

Land of fiction? The cartoon world from that eda?

Will john make the noise of the tardis? Fingers crossed!

Oh no, that's the actual tardis noise. :(

Ooh! Who are we summoning? Which doctor will it be? I imagine one played by John.