( ＾▽＾)っ✂╰⋃╯

lesbian. 21+. . ((( this is a sideblog so i can support females in peace )))

[tomboyfriends]

“Queer” is Heteronormative

Even if queer wasn’t a slur (it is), the term when used to describe LGB people is inherently heteronormative. Queer literally means strange. in order for homosexuality and bisexuality to be “strange”, the term queer presents heterosexuality as “normal” in contrast, the opposite of strange.  Implying heterosexuality is the “normal” sexual orientation for people to have is literally heteronormative. Calling homosexuality and bisexuality “queer” (which is just calling them strange) is also heteronormative. I don’t know how to make this any more clear.

[2productive]

celebs speaking out against pornography

Kanye West: Playboy was my gateway into full-on pornography addiction. My dad had a Playboy left out at age five, and it’s affected almost every choice I made for the rest of my life, from age five to now having to kick the habit. And it just presents itself in the open, like it’s okay. And I stand up and say, “You know, it’s not okay.”

Billie Eilish: I’m so angry that porn is so loved, and I’m so angry at myself for thinking that it was okay. As a woman, I think porn is a disgrace. I used to be like the person that would like talk about porn all the time. I’d be like, “Oh, it’s so stupid that anybody would think that porn is bad or [cuts out] up. I think it’s so cool. It’s great.” I think it really destroyed my brain, and I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.

Chris Rock: One of the things about that I’ve done in the last whatever year, not just going to therapy, I’ve kind of gotten off social media. I got off all social media. I don’t watch pornography anymore. I’m like, my brain is like “Ahh.” Like, I’m focused, man. Now, so, a lot of stuff on YouTube or, what is it, Instagram, I got like a company that puts that stuff out.

Russell Brand: We’re living in this culture now where there’s just icebergs off filth floating through every house on Wi-Fi. It’s inconceivable what it must be like to be a young adolescent now with this kind of access to porn. I know that pornography is wrong, that I shouldn’t be looking at it. There’s a general feeling, isn’t there, in your core, if you look at pornography, that this isn’t what’s the best thing for me to do.

Rashida Jones: I wrote this article for Glamour magazine where I was highly critical of how, like, how naked everybody is publicly right now, from pop stars, to kind of reality stars, whatever. I’m more concerned the very young fans of these girls who just emulate them, and, you know, the reason that these girls feel like this is a viable option, as the thing to do when you turn 18 and you leave high school. It’s because, culturally, porn is mainstream now.

Terry Crews: You know, for years, years, years, my dirty little secret was that I was addicted to pornography, for years. It’s kind of crazy because this thing has become a problem. I think it’s a worldwide problem, but pornography, it really, really, messed up my life in a lot of ways. Some people deny it. They say, “Hey man, you can’t really be addicted to pornography. There’s no way.” But I’m going to tell you something, if day turns into night, and you are still watching, you probably got a problem. And that was me. It affected everything. I didn’t tell my wife. Didn’t tell my friends, nobody knew. But the internet allowed that secret to stay and grow.

My wife was literally like, “I don’t know you anymore. I’m outta here.” That changed me. I had to change because I realized, “Yo, this thing is a major, major problem.” I literally had to go to rehab for it.” And the thing what I found was that by not telling people, it becomes more powerful, but when you tell, and when you put it out there in the open, just like I’m doing right now, to the whole world, it loses its power. And everybody wants you to keep this little secret. I’m telling, and I’m putting it out there. I’ve been free of this thing going on six, seven years now. Thank goodness. But now, it’s become my battle to help other people who are going through the same thing.

Pamela Anderson: I’m concerned about porn addiction. I think it’s affecting relationships. You know, when you have a woman lying in bed in lingerie, and you’re in the bathroom looking at a computer, something’s wrong, you know? There’s so much access, and I’m worried about that for young people. People need more and more to get aroused, and I think it’s leading to violence against women, rape, child abuse. I really think it has something to do with that. And I think we really have to start thinking about what we’re doing as people, how we’re imprinting ourselves. What we’re watching, what we’re doing, what we’re eating, what we’re wearing. It all builds our character. And it’s really important to just have the conversation.

Kirk Franklin: There’s an anger that rises up in me. And I got evangelically ticked off about the fact that I wish somebody would have taught me a long time ago the repercussions of sex and flesh and lust and vanity and pride and ego. I wish somebody would have been holding my little behind accountable years ago. If I have been set free from this one, anybody can, because for years, I even questioned, “Could I get free from this?”

Jordan Peterson: The typical porn actress, not the amateurs, but the professionals, have their sexually provocative physical elements exaggerated. And so, men are very visual, in terms of their sexual processing, and so, you know, the guys are pulled into it, and they’re pulled into it also by curiosity, but I think that ethically, it’s not good. It’s not good.

Jada Pinkett Smith: Back in the day, porn for my generation started in magazines, and then you had to like go to a CD store to get a VHS store. We didn’t have access to it like that. You had to like really go on an adventure to go see some pornography, whereas for your generation, it’s on your phone. It’s porn in your pocket.

Mike Tyson: I don’t have a phone, ‘cause my phone is my lower self. I might look at porn, so I’m conscious of my lower self, so I know I don’t need a phone. I want to conquer the world, and I know I can’t conquer the world unless I conquer myself. I don’t live my life right all the time, but when I have something, when I desire something, I have to clean my life up. God won’t bless me if I’m dirty. If I’m cheating on my wife. If I’m doing something disrespectful to my family. He won’t bless me.

Joe Rogan: Here’s a big one. Why are these girls doing this? Okay, here’s something that people don’t like to admit that enjoy porn. The vast majority of them have been molested. The vast majority. Some study they did on girls who get into porn, who’ve been sexually abused, mentally abused, and physically abused–it was overwhelming. It was overwhelming.

Gary Wilson: The truth is real life isn’t like those simplistic fantasies that you see in a pornography clip. . . You really have to replace porn with other activity. You have to just get away from the computer and do other things. I personally don’t want to have to be afraid to be aroused. I’d rather connect with my wife and get my arousal that way.

Trip Lee: It’s coming to a point where if I talk to a young man about his life, whether somebody my age, or somebody younger, or maybe a little bit older. I’m not at all surprised to hear that there’s some kind of struggle with porn. And I would be shocked if I met a young man who hasn’t had a struggle with it at some point, because it’s just so easily accessible, and it’s so damaging to our souls. . . It’s a unique sin, even unique to other sexual sins, because you don’t at this point have to go anywhere to indulge in it. You don’t have to make a long series of bad decisions to fall into it. It can just be very easy in your pocket at any moment.

[sapphos-catpanions]

i’m sure teenage girls know that eating disorders are unhealthy, but i feel like they don’t really know why. it’s not their fault: they don’t know because they haven’t been taught. they haven’t been taught because we just found out, and we just found out because, honestly, research into women’s health has been extremely lacking, historically.. women are just small, weak men with breasts and uteruses, right? WRONG.

every system, every organ, every cell in a woman’s body moves to a complex symphony of hormonal signaling that is circadian (cycling once a day), mensual (once a month), and seasonal (once a year). this beautiful dance is directed by the endocrine system, which consists of glands. the high chieftesses of these glands are the incredibly sensitive gonads, the ovaries. 

these almond-sized glands are so delicate that they will go dormant at the first sign that the outside world may be a less than optimal environment in which to birth and raise a baby. and only now, in the last decade or so, are we finally starting to understand the devastation that is wrought on a developing girl’s health when this happens.

back in the 80’s, when endurance sports were starting to go mainstream, the saying among elite female endurance athletes was “if your period stops, you’re training enough.” those women are now at the tip of the spear of our emerging knowledge of the long term effects of the “female athlete triad”.

the female athlete triad consists of 1) not eating enough, 2) no menstrual cycle, and 3) low bone density. grouping them together like this is rather misleading, because it makes it sound like these symptoms can occur in any combination. the actual relationship is one of definitive and terrifying cause-and-effect.

when a teenage girl stops eating enough to fill her calorie needs, or deliberately exercises beyond her caloric intake, her ovaries receive signals that there’s a famine afoot, that the outside environment is a hostile place, and they shut down. they fucking shut down! can you imagine a male marathon runner saying “fellas, if your testicles still work, you’re not running enough”?

the ovaries are responsible for releasing estrogen, which most teenage girls probably know is responsible for menstruation, breast development and female fat distribution in puberty. what they probably don’t know, because nobody tells them, is that estrogen is also an incredibly powerful steroid that is the primary hormone, in both sexes, that is responsible for mineralizing growing bones. bones are rapidly expanding in volume during puberty, and if a girl’s estrogen is depleted because her ovaries are on strike, she won’t even be able to maintain the bone density she enjoyed in childhood (and her bones are supposed to be getting significantly denser as she grows!).

if she is ignorant of this, a talented and driven teenage female athlete will write off an estrogen crash with “well i didn’t really want periods, tits and hips anyway, they’d just slow me down”, not realizing that she is inducing permanent osteopenia in herself... because she can’t just remineralize her bones after she’s done growing. once she attains her full adult height and her growth plates fuse, that’s it! 

the same women who, in the 80s/90s/00s, were saying “if your period stops, you’re training enough” now suffer from brittle bones. they get multiple compound fractures, shattered bones, just from tripping and falling on a hike. i know many such women. and this is irreversible.

we didn’t, and still don’t, know everything that the ovaries do. how irresponsible we were, to think we could just kneecap our most important glands, with no consequences.

i know some teenage girls follow me, and i want to say this: research nutritional requirements for girls your age, be vigilant about eating enough, and eating a variety of things. take responsibility for your health now: you will thank yourself in 10 years, when you can still stand up straight, when you can fall on a wet floor at work and just laugh it off and move on. you are the only one who has to live with yourself 24 hours a day, and you’ve got to keep yourself safe. you’ve got to.

[steakoilsaleman-deactivated2022]

Now that people are slowly waking up to the truth about Johnny Depp, I’d like to say, from the bottom of my heart, that any of you that aided in the public humiliation, harassment, and bullying of Amber Heard deserve to be ashamed for the rest of your life. I genuinely hope that guilt follows you every day. I hope you pro-Depp “feminists” feel shame over the fact that you took a man’s side simply because *He was a man* and allowed a woman to be the center of global humiliation because you wanted to seem “fair” on the internet. Like I seriously hope you never live that down.

[jokeson-u]

any guilt and shame you had for supporting johnny and harassing amber- let it go. its okay. i cant really blame people anymore for trusting the info they were fed and following what social media tells them to do. but im so happy the world had such a cruel wake up call in the form of johnnys own fans releasing the unsealed records. im so happy people are admitting they were wrong. not in a 'haha u were wrong way' but in a 'im so so glad u escaped that mindset and stayed educated' way

[feminescu]

yeah no other people didn't have this problem. @ any ex deppford wife y'all were complicit in the public humiliation of this woman while others saw johnny for what he was and you made any victim of abuse around you fear you and not trust you anymore. if you're siding with an abuser and refuse to acknowledge the gross shit he himself admitted he did then guilt is a small mercy compared to what you actually deserve

[biologyisaterf]

[profetens-apenbaring]

Nobody forced you to harrass her. Even if you didn't believe her no one tricked you into spreading misinformation and humiliating a woman

[fidnru]

it was really heartening to learn that the purpose of creating such a thick uterine lining during the menstrual period was to prevent the implantation of embryos rather than encourage them, and that our uterus is basically flushing out anything it deems unworthy during the period itself rather than “punishing” us for not being pregnant (which is how it’s usually framed). it’s almost as if your female body is more concerned with the protection and continuation of itself rather than being used as a procreative vessel.

the fact that we’ve come to accept the idea that our reproductive organs are punishing us for not being continuously pregnant is proof of how deeply patriarchal brainwashing has convinced women that we are nothing but broodmares for ‘their’ children.

[magnetictapedatastorage]

70 years ago the fear was “babies will be grown in vats” but little did we know the vats would be impoverished women on the other side of the globe. capitalism and misogyny combine, finding the cheapest, not the safest, way to deliver babies as a product.

[magnetictapedatastorage]

you put it into words.

[fishpillowses]

"Clothes have no gender" people when they see an actual gender nonconforming person

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

The gaslighting in the lgbt community that’s directed at gay men and lesbians is so fucked up. Like, I was alive for the shit that you guys are saying never happened. This isn’t some distant past that’s blurry and confined to the memories of dead people.

No, lesbians have not always been open to dick and inclusive of trans women.

No, gay men have not always been open to pussy and inclusive of trans men.

This is a very new thing being pushed and it’s fucking disgusting.

Do you guys even realize how much your mental health gets fucked up when people are constantly telling you that things that were widely accepted just a few years ago are actually bullshit and that it’s never been that way?

[itsawritblr]

I’m a het WOC who worked in a gay and lesbian bar in the 80s, when those things still got closed by the police for “public indecency” such as two women dancing to Pat Benatar songs together, and it fucking blows my mind that anyone thinks lesbians like dick and gay men like vaginas.

Wokesters are brain-washing the young, and are going to drive teen lesbians and gay guys back into the closet by harassing them to have sex with people they don’t want to have sex with.  I’m seeing the clock of social progress turned back 30 years.

[myothercarisauhaul-deactivated2]

I was out and doing activism 20 years ago and get told my memories and experiences are wrong. It’s so weird. And evil.

[appropriately-inappropriate]

Same — by the time I was sixteen I’d been to a couple of marches on Parliament Hill.

By the time I was twenty I’d won national awards for LGBT activism, and by twenty one I was helping host the Women + Trans nights at the local lesbian bar.

You know who those “trans” were? Butch lesbians who transitioned in order to “pass”. That was in 2006-2012, so I guarantee you this new “but lesbians have always sucked ladydick” is a lie told to you by people who want their ladydicks sucked.

The lesbian community included trans-identified females, because back then most of the trans-identified females were just stone butches dating high femmes.

[astronofeminist]

I was bullied out of a Catholic school and sent to the school counselor because some girl stood up in religion class and CALLED ME A DYKE. I was called queer and had trash thrown at me in 2002

[radical-desiderium]

I feel like the most frustrating part about trans activists is how few of them will even acknowledge that gender IS a belief system. They don't even get it, they truly think that because they bought into it as truth, the rest of the world has to follow suit. But it's a belief system, it requires just as much faith as any religion. First you have to believe in the existence of souls separate from the body, then you have to believe those souls can be born into the "wrong" body, then you have to believe feelings of disconnect from your body can (and in many people's minds, must) be solved through physical alteration.

Like...these are all points of contention. Not everyone believes in souls in the first place; your "inner self" is not a tangible, measurable thing, there is no scientific support for souls. Even if you're not religious, believing in souls, and wondering how anyone else could possibly not believe in souls, is the influence of religious thinking. And even among those who believe in souls, not everyone will agree that you can be born with the "wrong" soul.

The thing about systems of belief is that not everyone will agree with yours in particular. Belief is a choice made out of faith, and as much as people hate to hear it, being trans is also a choice made out of faith. Because trans vs. cis is all based on personal identity, you choose to identify as trans when someone else in the same situation with the same dysphoric feelings may not choose to. What makes them so tangibly different? You choose to be part of the trans community, or you can choose not to.

Belief systems can often provide a sense of community, because broadcasting your belief system allows you to find other like-minded people and find support and connections. It's why many people are religious, not because they hold the teachings particularly close to their hearts, but because they feel like their support systems are intertwined with their religion. The religion reinforces itself the more you engage in the community in this way. You see the same thing with gender, people who buy into it form their identities around it and join communities based on shared identities and surround themselves with friends who also buy into gender. All this reinforces gender as a concept, and can also insulate opinions to the point that it becomes surprising/distressing to hear dissension or pushback against those beliefs when they are outside of those spaces. With systems of belief, there's also often the fear of ostracisization from their peers if they question or change their opinions out of sync with the group. Within the community, opinions shift because nothing is static but the goal with fitting in is to have your opinions shift with the group slowly over time.

A belief system can really matter to you. You can find meaning in it if you wish, you can even build it up to be something that you consider integral to your sense of self. It's your life and you can find meaning in that life wherever or however you want. But other people may not feel the same and no one should have any right to force their system of beliefs onto others. You have to accept that there is a wide variety of people on this earth with different thoughts and opinions, and disagreement does not necessarily mean hate. Sometimes disagreement just means you don't share the same belief system.

[gender-critical-appspot]

[90905791]

3.5 billion women will never equal the .3% of men who identify as trans women in their eyes, that’s the math of it all.

[sundazesun]

If trans “women” were really “some of the most marginalized”, they would NOT have been able to get increasingly outlandish gender identity legislation brought for consideration and in some countries passed within a few short years of agitating for it. Nor would they have been able to get so many people parroting increasingly outrageous lies in the name of their ideology if they were really so marginalized. They got this far this fast because they are (83% white) males. Let’s not kid ourselves.

[ophelias-revenge]

Right? Abortion still isn’t fully legal or accessible for women worldwide (even in the US or UK), access to menstural products is keeping girls from school but somehow gender legislation is being fast tracked and prioritized.

[actuallyhashtags]

While 45 million girls are sex slaves and 4% of the real female population has been killed by males since the 90s.. We should totally care about males feelings and let them be us so the stats change and they can dress up their problem with sexism

[dyna-myght]

It really bugs me how people have turned pride into a “celebration of the weird” like it’s just supposed to be a time for gay people to be proud of their sexuality that is very normal and healthy and not strange or weird or deviant at all.

[andwhimsicality-deactivated2023]

Men are literally never asked to be inclusive when talking about themselves. When was the last time you saw someone say mxn or men* to make sure everyone felt included in that term… Never

[radmenace]

[brensey]

And I’ve NEVER seen men or health care workers specializing in male issues (like testicular/prostate cancer, sperm donation, etc) be forced to use silly, degrading, unscientific language to describe male bodies. You will never see a medical conference force doctors to, say, call penises “front sticks” or sperm “baby juice” (and threaten to expel them if refuse to use such childish, unscientific terms).

Meanwhile, multiple hospitals and midwife/doula training programs are kicking people out if they refuse to change their language to call vaginas “front holes” or say breast feeding is “chest feeding”. And they’re doing this despite the fact that using silly kindergarten euphemisms only makes it harder for the patient and nurse/doctor to communicate (which is a problem if complications occur).

[lesbian-lizards]

[ronedob-deactivated20220805]

"i use queer because it fits me better than any other label!!" you use queer because unfortunately for you, "gay", "lesbian" and "bisexual" are specific terms with concrete meanings that do not apply to your reality but you still want to feel like you're special and unique and not just another "boring" straight so you call yourself queer because you know it's a bullshit word with no real meaning which means nobody can really prove or disprove that it applies to you so now everyone has to tolerate your presence in spaces that were originally meant for same-sex attracted people. hope this helps

[honeysucklebuttons]

People taking testosterone:

Hi! Wanted to share an important experience I had recently that I think you should know about, especially if you’re a fellow petite trans guy or similar!

I just got an awesome gynecologist who works with all sorts of people, including trans guys and such. She made me feel very safe, comfortable, and heard! One of the things she asked me during my visit was if I had anyone in my family who has/had Osteoporosis - a condition that makes your bones weak and brittle.

I had no idea why that would even matter, but both of my mom’s parents did, and I found out later that my mom has Osteopenia (sort of a halfway point between healthy bones and Osteoporosis). My doctor nodded and then explained that since 1) Osteoporosis runs in my family, 2) I am a trans guy taking weekly testosterone, and 3) I am petite at 5′0″ and 100-110 lbs, I should get a bone density scan done. Huh??? Why???

Did you know that estrogen actually protects your bones by suppressing reabsorption of the bone itself?? It works with the osteoblasts needed to create new bone! She explained that those of us with smaller bodies naturally have less hormones, and thus less estrogen to begin with, and when you start taking testosterone for a long time, it stops the estrogen, which stops protecting your bones. Damn!!!!

Now, because studies on trans bodies, especially over long periods of time, are in a growing field, we become part of the data. There’s not a lot to read on the subject yet, just like the similarities between being on testosterone and going through menopause. 

My doctor looked at me in all my confusion and said, 

“I bring all this up because I have a couple of trans male patients who have developed Osteoporosis by the time they’re 30.”

Let that sink in. (I’m almost 26.)

The scan took all of 5 minutes, completely harmless, got to keep all my clothes on. A few days later and I get a result that my pelvic bones are fine, but that my spine has “MINOR Osteopenia” and that I should do the following things to prevent worsening:

Take Vitamin D3

Take Calcium (preferably with food, but supplements are okay too)

Do weight-bearing exercises (“In regard to weightbearing exercises, we think the best is walking and/or running, hiking, and yoga. Swimming or biking is not recommended as a weightbearing exercise.”)

While this looks like a simple “eat better, get more sunshine, exercise more!” bit, (which I guess it sort of is??) it’s also… a little scary? Research on trans bodies has never before led me to this possible conclusion, and I wanted to make sure other people knew about this possibility as well, so they can ask their doctors questions to stay healthy!!

If for no other reason than spite, trans bodies have to keep living!!! STRONG BONES, LACTOSE INTOLERANCE BE DAMNED!!

[softness-and-shattering]

This is confusing to me; I was taught that osteoporosis is much more common in women than men.  I would think that transitioning would make it less likely, not more. Huh.  

[kronkk]

Because your body is still female. Women get osteoporosis after menopause because the drop in our hormones. When you take T, you’re essentially doing something similar to menopause, and if you take Lupron for “puberty blockers” it DOES make you go through menopause. It’s literally because you’re women.

[venus-loves-vulva]

If sexuality is based on gender and not sex,the studies about homosexuality in animals are based on what?

[greenwire]

all penguins are gay bc they all wear little tuxedos (male coded)