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shark vs the universe
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@macklemormonn-blog
Friendly reminder that:
with this site you can type a singer/band name, a music genre or general keywords and it’ll show you a web of similar artists plus, you can also listen to some songs and find other ones similar to the one you chose to listen to
this one creates a web too, and works also with books and movies
this one has lists instead of webs, but works with music, movies, tv shows, books, authors and games!
seduce me with ur history knowledge
vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft
During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.
raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death
during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.
The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people
King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.
Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.
Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes
At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.
When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.
Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.
During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.
People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.
The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.
Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler) nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives
Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”
fun date idea: stab him in the leg
the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:
Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how “smooth” sharks really are.
Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.
But buddy.
Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the shark swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough like sandpaper.
((Here m8 https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basics ))
Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?
There👏🏼 are👏🏼 different👏🏼 types👏🏼 of👏🏼 sharks👏🏼
and 👏 they’re 👏 all 👏 smooth👏
from one way, they are; the other way, not so much
You’re half right. From one way they are smooth, but from the other way they’re also smooth.
Why Intelligent People Fail
Lack of motivation. A talent is irrelevant if a person is not motivated to use it. Motivation may be external (for example, social approval) or internal (satisfaction from a job well-done, for instance). External sources tend to be transient, while internal sources tend to produce more consistent performance.
Lack of impulse control. Habitual impulsiveness gets in the way of optimal performance. Some people do not bring their full intellectual resources to bear on a problem but go with the first solution that pops into their heads.
Lack of perserverance and perseveration. Some people give up too easily, while others are unable to stop even when the quest will clearly be fruitless.
Using the wrong abilities. People may not be using the right abilities for the tasks in which they are engaged.
Inability to translate thought into action. Some people seem buried in thought. They have good ideas but rarely seem able to do anything about them.
Lack of product orientation. Some people seem more concerned about the process than the result of activity.
Inability to complete tasks. For some people nothing ever draws to a close. Perhaps it’s fear of what they would do next or fear of becoming hopelessly enmeshed in detail.
Failure to initiate. Still others are unwilling or unable to initiate a project. It may be indecision or fear of commitment.
Fear of failure. People may not reach peak performance because they avoid the really important challenges in life.
Procrastination. Some people are unable to act without pressure. They may also look for little things to do in order to put off the big ones.
Misattribution of blame. Some people always blame themselves for even the slightest mishap. Some always blame others.
Excessive self-pity. Some people spend more time feeling sorry for themselves than expending the effort necessary to overcome the problem.
Excessive dependency. Some people expect others to do for them what they ought to be doing themselves.
Wallowing in personal difficulties. Some people let their personal difficulties interfere grossly with their work. During the course of life, one can expect some real joys and some real sorrows. Maintaining a proper perspective is often difficult.
Distractibility and lack of concentration. Even some very intelligent people have very short attention spans.
Spreading oneself too think or too thick. Undertaking too many activities may result in none being completed on time. Undertaking too few can also result in missed opportunities and reduced levels of accomplishment.
Inability to delay gratification. Some people reward themselves and are rewarded by others for finishing small tasks, while avoiding bigger tasks that would earn them larger rewards.
Inability to see the forest for the trees. Some people become obsessed with details and are either unwilling or unable to see or deal with the larger picture in the projects they undertake.
Lack of balance between critical, analytical thinking and creative, synthetic thinking. It is important for people to learn what kind of thinking is expected of them in each situation.
Too little or too much self-confidence. Lack of self-confidence can gnaw away at a person’s ability to get things done and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conversely, individuals with too much self-confidence may not know when to admit they are wrong or in need of self-improvement.
– Sternberg, R., Why Intelligent People Fail
To know essential oils better
Castor essential oil Tea Tree essential oil
Peppermint essential oil Lavender essential oil
honestly “i’ll do whatever you want” “then perish” is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it’s from some bizarre “hewwo” obama rp
And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said “violence for violence is the rule of beasts” like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him
my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said “to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all” and put it out and walked into the mist and i’ve never fucking forgotten that
I once dreamed that a giant meteor was headed for earth, and the government had set up loudspeakers throughout the cities so Obama could give a final address - I’ll never forget how strangely comforting it was when he said “there are places we’ve never been before. Some of us have never been to the Alps, some of us have never been to Marrakesh. The next life is simply another place we’ve never been before, and we’re all going to go explore it together.”
I had a dream my family housed the Obamas for a weekend and one morning Obama made us oatmeal for breakfast and, looking at my disappointed face because I don’t like oatmeal, he said “regardless of what we taste, if we eat together, we are happy.”
Once I dreamt that Michelle Obama was running a campaign to give homes to all the feral pigeons and her husband came to my house and gave me a pamphlet that just had a picture of a pigeon on it and he looked me in the eyes and said “who would you be without them?”
(via BurkhartAdriana)
lately i’ve been replacing my “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s, like instead of “sorry i’m late” i’ll say “thanks for waiting for me”, or instead of “sorry for being such a mess” i’ll say “thank you for loving me and caring about me unconditionally” and it’s not only shifted the way i think and feel about myself but also improved my relationships with others who now get to receive my gratitude instead of my negativity
This is some 2017 mood
did anyone actually ever read those animorph books
just stared at the covers for a concerningly long amount of time before putting it back where i found it
me too
Here are some of the spoilers you missed out on by not reading Animorphs:
Five children are forced to engage in guerilla warfare, espionage and repeated murder to protect their loved ones from alien parasites as they wait for the other, heroic aliens to finally arrive. When they do, the “good” aliens turn out to not give a shit about humans, caused the whole intergalactic war through their own shittiness and are willing to exterminate whole planets themselves to get at their hated enemies.
A child repeatedly experiences his intestines hanging out of his body while in various animal forms
A child is mentally tortured until broken and never gets better
A child in the form of a fly experiences getting splattered and smeared against a ceiling until his friends who are also flies at the time can peel his body off and take him somewhere he can transform back into a whole human before his insect mind fades completely
A child is shrunken and experiences having her eyeballs digested out of her head inside her friend’s stomach while she’s in the form of a tiny elephant
The heroes are forced to permanently imprison another child in the body of a rat because he knows too much and they abandon him on a tiny island with only other rats and garbage for company. Rumors circulate that the island is haunted but it’s actually his psychic screams reaching distant boaters.
A race of devastatingly powerful, violent aliens turn out to be mental toddlers who don’t know what they’re doing and are just bred to think they’re playing one big game before they’re killed at age three so they don’t learn the truth
An alien spends a few centuries hanging from the parasitic tentacle of a much bigger alien, surrounded by millions of rotting corpses attached to its other moon-spanning tendrils. They engage in mental warfare until one finally absorbs the other completely.
It turns out another seemingly “evil” alien race is simply driven to kill and eat everything in sight because it was separated from its original world where food was continuous and the entire specie’s life is the torture of perpetual starvation
A peaceful robot willingly removes its inhibition against violence to help in the war, only to slaughter a huge number of alien-controlled humans so gruesomely that nobody dares think about or speak of it again and it is the only thing left undescribed in a book series that already describes entrails getting torn out and skulls getting smashed
A child stays too long in the form of a flea and instead of turning back into a human, accidentally turns momentarily into one big, giant flea that can only writhe and moan because it shouldn’t exist and can’t live at that scale.
The kids discover Atlantis, then discover that Atlanteans are inbred mutants who paralyze any humans they find, dissect them alive to figure out how their organs work, then stuff the corpses as kitschy museum displays for their children.
An ordinary ant gets transformed into a human child. It has no idea what’s happening and is so overwhelmed by its huge new brain and sensory input that it can only scream until it dies
I did a quick check and all of it is legit, who knew a book cover could make the difference in success and failure?
Instagram: @twelveseconds peony
In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.
“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.”
“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”
My heart wtf
Not gonna lie, this fucked me up a bit.
POV Fantasy slice of life book when?
“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”
“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”
SHOOK
If Jesus was born from a virgin birth, doesn’t that mean he has only an X chromosome. Wouldn’t that make him female?
wait
TRANS JESUS TRANS JESUS TRANS JESUS
I have taken 3 years of Theology, 1 of Apologetics, and 1 of Anatomy and Physiology and I’m honesty stumped by this one
Those species which are parthenogenic (i.e. self-fertilising, certain lizards, snakes, frogs and fish) the offspring is always genetically/physically female-typical. So yeah, if we were to take the nativity as a scientific story, a parthenogenic human pregnancy (still a scientific impossibility) would result in an AFAB child, and since that child has always been referred to as “he”, voila, trans jesus.
Actually, I think that depends on species? Like, New Mexico whiptail lizards are an entirely female all-parthenogensis all-the-time species, but Komodo dragon parthenogensis always results in males because their chromosome determination is different.
So clearly, to get to the bottom of this mystery, the first question we need to ask is what kind of reptile was Mary.
Tumblr, asking the real questions
Raptor Jesus born of a Raptor virgin.
Merry Christmas, y'all.
“what kind of reptile was Mary” tis the season
Zodiac Signs as... Emotions People Feel but Can’t Explain.
Aries: Lachesism– The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.
Taurus: Chrysalism– The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.
Gemini: Onism– The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.
Cancer: Liberosis– The desire to care less about things.
Leo: Anecdoche– A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening.
Virgo: Rubatosis– The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.
Libra: Nodus Tollens– The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.
Scorpio: Opia– The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.
Sagittarius: Rückkehrunruhe– The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.
Capricorn: Exulansis– The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.
Aquarius: Monachopsis– The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
Pisces: Énouement– The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
Things Said/Heard at Rocky Horror Rehearsal
Note: due to the nature of RHPS, a lot of these are somewhat risque, albeit in a sorta cracky way. Nothing here has to lead to direct NSFW, but doing so would be pretty easy. (So’s Janet!)
“It’s okay. My lungs are still in my body. I’m good.”
“I have plans for your fake dick.”
“It doesn’t matter! Nothing matters! Just form a kickline!”
“Please yourselves. Not literally. At least, not on stage.”
“This is why we keep the feather boas in quarantine.”
“You- you’re a lot. I like you.”
“This is when you start to get groovy.”
“I could kiss you. I could marry you. I could buy you ice cream.”
“IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. WHO’S READY TO GET SLUTTY?”
“Shit, I thought this was water polo practice.”
“Biochemical research gets me so hot.”
“This is the weirdest aerobics session I’ve ever seen.”
“I claim my prize.”
“I haven’t been this aroused since Nixon was president.”
“Where are the horses? I thought there would be horses.”
“I need you to channel your inner vodka aunt. I need you to channel your inner 10,000 vodka aunts.”
“Make it weirder. I know it’s weird. But make it weirder.”
“You’re, like, a sex god. You’re like a Nobel Prize winner sex god.”
“I like to approach all my problems crotch-first.”
“Okay, who here knows the Funky Chicken?”
“I’m so proud of you. You’re going to make me cry.”
“Anyone have a tampon?”
“Anyone have a hair band?”
“Anyone have any idea what’s going on?”
“There will be no actual nudity and no actual murder-cannibalism- at least, if everything goes according to plan.”
“Where’s the glitter and why is everyone sober?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m having a good time.”
“You fuck with my boas, I will fuck with you.”
“It’s all cool. Nothing is on fire. Yet.”
“We’re allowed to step on you if you’re in the way.”
“OH SHIT MY TITS ARE OUT”
“I’m glad that we dream about each other in the worst possible ways.”
“It’s awful. I love it.”
“You. Me. Selfie. Now.”
“Feel this fabric. Now imagine it rubbing against your nipples. Frantically.”
“We are not responsible for any weird boners you may get this evening.”
“You guys, I just- I just love you so much. I’m so happy. You guys.”
