โก Hello, welcome to my permakid & agere sideblog~
โก My name is Aurelia Mae~ (you can also call me Kiddo, Bunny, or Fawn~)
โก Bodily: 25
โก Little ages: there are no specific ages for me when I regress, but when I'm regressed, I am mainly in baby to toddler range
โก I am autistic level 2 (have medium support needs), am ADHD, have OCD, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, and c-PTSD
โก I am semiverbal and use AAC (most times)
โก I am asexual and agender
โก My pronouns are She/Her (though I mainly love and prefer simply being referred to as Mae, Kiddo, Bunny, or Fawn~)
โก I am on the alloromantic spectrum (I have my own complicated feelings and thoughts about what is known as romance & romantic attraction)
โก I am a permakid (a permaregressor -> specifically a permanent kid) & an agere (age regressor)
โก Mentioning for fun: I still have a fear of the dark ๐ซฃ๐
โก I have created this side blog because I want to have my own specific space for being a permakid and agere and I would like to share about my own experiences, thoughts, feelings, moodboards I create, and pictures of my little/agere gear and toys I have and play with~
โก My main blog: @wombofthevoid (disability, autism, poetry, art, faekin)
โก My other side blog: @maes-aac (being an AAC user & using AAC)
โกDNI: NSFW (gore, violence, sh, ed, etc.), kink, age play, ABDL, DDLG (and other variants), dualcom, proship, radqueer, anti-agere, anti-padded agere, anti-petre, anything hateful, anything you would not show a kid
โก You will be blocked โก
โก Not anti-kink, just don't want it in this space โก
โก My tags: (these are tagged on this post for convenience~)
#maes agere โ all about my experiences, thoughts, and feelings of my agere
#maes perma โ all about my experiences, thoughts, and feelings about being a permakid
#maes life โ pictures of my all of my baby, toddler, kid things and clothes
#mae creates โ permakid & agere scenarios, moodboards, personal flags for myself and for others to use freely
โกย DNI banners & Hello Kitty divider created by me. Please do not use DNI banners. Credit me if you use the Hello Kitty divider
โก My taglist: (tags I use to keep my blog organized~)
#permakid โ all about being a permakid & what being a permakid is like and looks like for me
#comfort โ previously this was "agere" because of what is known as agere gear but I realized that agere gear are just things I need and want always. They are my true comfort as a permakid
#flags โ all permaregressor & agere flags I personally connect with
#caregiver โ cg scenes/writings
#pngs โ all transparent images~
#cute โ everything I find cute ๐ธ
#hello kitty โ everything Hello Kitty ๐๐ฉท
#miffy โ everything Miffy ๐คโจ
โก Credit for userboxes:
@cutiepieautisticย (stimming)
@chronicallylegglessย (disabled)
@sweetpeauserboxesย (all of the pink ones except "attached to stuffies")
@platypup2002ย (the rest of them)
๐ธ About me being a permakid:
โก I am a permakid because I have always felt like a kid; small, little, young, and kidlike. There is no definitive age, just a feeling and overall sense of being young and a kid that has followed me throughout my life. It is something I spent most of my life hating about myself.
Only recently I have started to accept being a permakid, thanks to finally having the language to help me understand what I have been feeling all of my life (and discovering these communities โจ).
Even as a bio teenager and adult, I have always felt out of place, younger, more vulnerable, and more โinnocentโ than those around me. I have often felt intimidated by, anxious around, and scared of adults because they feel so much more mature than me, and there have been times where I have involuntarily regressed (only mentally) around certain adults because of this.
I also have natural kidlike needs and kidlike mannerisms, speech, and emotional expression. And I have a need to be spoken to and engaged with in the way one would a kid. As an autistic kid too because I notice how being autistic impacts how I experience and engage with everything, like how I play with toys.
๐ธ More in-depth post about how I recognize myself as a permakid
๐ธ Why I use "kidlike" instead of "childlike"
๐ธ Art the encapsulates/embodies what being a permakid feels like for me
Extra: I use the word โmatureโ for myself instead of โadultโ because I do not feel like or identify as an adult though I still have "adult" responsibilities and regardless of societal milestones reached or not.
For me, being mature and being an adult are different things. I know that I am chronologically/biologically an adult, but internally I do not experience myself as one. I experience myself as a kid that has maturity, and I have no defineable age; I am ageless.
I also don't have interest in most things that are deemed as "adult". I don't like most adult-based/labeled activities, movies, or shows, and I don't like most of what is considered as "adult topics" especially NSFW things.
โก "You're holding onto too much, kid. Just let me take it all away, okay?", spoken to me in sweetness as I lay to rest on a bed made of the softest, most warmest, loving dreams ๐ธ
โก The moments I don't feel my enduring smallness and kidself are the moments where I feel too tightly wounded up. There is a squeezing I feel in my mind and a tightening in my chest; a screw that's bolted into a faulty wall that can give way at any minute that I continue to screw in more and more, deeper and deeper, leaving drywalled sores. I feel like a shield, I feel almost impenetrable, a rusted metal. Too aware, too alert, too vigilant of my body, of the state of my mind, of visible and invisible eyes on me; watching me, judging me, almost as if I am always sensing a danger, from myself or others. Shame, defensiveness, guilt, vulnerability, tenderness. I feel too gathered at the front, too forceful, and my voice when i speak hits a depth that is disorienting, dysphoric. My mind too matured but like a wine that can spoil. I want to stop. I want to stop holding onto my hurting, bitter, insecure, false, protective self so tightly. I want to let go. But...it's much easier to keep myself bounded up than it is to piece myself back together once I finally, and fully, break.
โก Saw Instagram posts of mothers who taught their kids to sew and knit, who pays attention to their kid's interests and brings them to life, who nurtures their creativity, who scrapbook and keep all kinds of memories of their children as they grow, who beautifully fill up their children's rooms with whimsy, color, play, and just life...And now I am left quietly but deeply mourning how unloved and unurtured I have been my whole life. To be loved that much...There truly is so much healing that goes into all of this.
Waking my kiddo up and theyโre already so tiny. Oh, my, what a soft day we will have! Sitting in bed with them, listening to sleepy babbles as they wake up for the day. Holding them in my arms, rubbing their back gently while I talk gently, asking them how they slept.
Getting to prepare their outfit for them, helping them brush their hair and teeth, and then have some water in their bottle while I make food for us. Ahh, just a tiny day from the start, itโs so precious.
The house filled with a show safe for a small mind, feeding them what I got to make, snuggling with my happy little one before they want to play.
itโs okay if non-child friendly things are part of your inner child healing and your regression. itโs okay if you grew up with unrestricted internet access in the late 2000s and now your favorite way to regress is watching old raunchy youtube videos with crude humor and swearing. not every regressor has to be watching bluey and sesame street to be valid. watch that rated r movie that you loved as a kid. watch those ytps. play that rated m video game that you used to watch your older brother play all the time. itโs your regression, so make it yours.
โโoriginally coined by bunnelbaby this flag is for padded regressors or those who
โโwear diapers while regressed whether for medical reasons, for comfort, or other
โโreasons๏ฝกโthis is an alternative flag!โyou can find padded girlre, neure, and
โโboyre underneath the cut along with terms of use๏ฝก
โโthese flags are f2u by anyone!โif using pls credit me somewhere on the post๐ผ
โโin the tags๐ผ or on your profile๏ฝกโreposting is fine but pls give credits and do not
โโclaim as your own๏ฝกโuse without credit is not permitted!โplease tag me in
โโedits/creations๐ผ i'd love to see ^_^๏ฝกโtagging @bunnelbaby and @regarchive
โโfor archival purposes!
