E.S.A.M.'s Blog of Me

[beardedmrbean]

[unfriendlymoth]

[dualcasterjay]

however small you may think this dog could be, it is sooo much smaller

[porterdavis]

[macsarcule1]

All this stuff is probably true, but it makes it sound like the workers are contaminating lettuce.

Wide-spread produce contamination happens through dirty irrigation water that sewage has leaked into.

Even if workers were taking shits in the field, it wouldn’t be enough to make these events and someone with intestinal diseases wouldn’t last long out doing manual labor in the hot sun (ask me how I know).

Food borne illnesses are almost always from shortcuts companies do to save a few bucks (don’t test the water, don’t test the produce, etc.)

[mrshamill]

this needs to be shared far and wide

[pupangelremade-deactivated20211]

[bestiarum]

[theawkwardqueerturtle]

this is the one meme that manages to age like a fine wine

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[walcutt]

i always love the way that mtg strategists and high level players discuss red decks in articles. this quote has been going around the local mtg server:

and the thing is that i really love hot dog decks. this guy is so fucking right

[evilbatmanisagatewaydrug]

put a dish of acid out on the garden last night and it was nearly empty this morning >:) really glad to be killing the local creature population

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[anais-ninja-bitch]

unrestrained summer fun

[roguespeedster]

say what you will about the 90s but there were so so many women on TV with beautiful curly hair. we used to be a proper society

[luthientinuvielss]

90s curls really were so special and breathtaking

[blackbearmagic]

Good morning,

museums should repatriate artifacts belonging to living cultures and display reproductions instead

[blackbearmagic]

Good afternoon,

no one is entitled to the sacred art, tools, or costumes of another culture (save members of the culture itself) and nonsacred reproductions will serve just as well for the purposes of education and appreciation

[blackbearmagic]

Good evening,

having museums full of reproductions would be even cooler than having museums full of sacred artifacts because when modern craftspeople are able to replicate those artifacts, it’s usually because they still make the same items the same way today

this means that you could have description tags emphasizing that such-and-such item has been made by these people in almost the same way for hundreds of years

having museums full of beautiful reproductions takes the emphasis off of Things and places it on the People who make them, which is really as it should be

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

trans women should receive a monthly stipend of several million dollars for the acquisition of solid gold and rare gemstones

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

Please

[secondbeatsongs]

:(

[secondbeatsongs]

once again I am on the hunt for glasses for weird little freaks, but this time I've found some cool ones pretty easily! so in case anyone else is looking, I stumbled across some real weird and gay frames at all of these sites:

eyeshells aoolia zeelool lakoh vooglam lens alter

like, eyeshells in particular has a startlingly vast collection of asymmetric glasses:

(this isn't even all of them)

and also this steampunk nonsense that I love so fucking much and cannot justify spending any money on:

while aoolia has...tbh a lot of the frames the other sites have, but more expensive, but also, a collection of the gayest people you've ever seen:

though tbh not nearly as gay as whatever lens alter has going on:

and vooglam has uhhh...whatever this is!

huh.

(I can't vouch for any of these companies ofc, though I think I'll get something from at least one of them. ideally not the slime glasses, but hey!)

but honestly the absolute best thing I found in all of this is this site that makes vintage fashion, and which happened to have:

these replica victorian railway glasses like the bisexual guy in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter had, AND WHICH

you can even buy with prescription lenses, jesus fucking christ you have no idea how hard it is to not immediately drop $180 on this shit, I'm having to physically restrain myself, I want them so fucking bad

and hey, if you don't need prescription lenses, y'know what else you can buy from this site?

the glasses from national treasure 😭😭

anyway, I'm having a gr8 time! and now I know I can definitely find glasses that are weird enough for my very high standards

[fallout-lou-begas]

imagining a trans girl in a nightmare on elm street movie whose fear is getting detransitioned somehow and when freddy krueger goes into her dreams to kill her (as he is wont to do) he's chasing her around and she's scared and he's doing freddy shit to make her facial hair get un-lasered and grow back or whatever and it's super gnarly body horror and he says some shit like "come on... grow a pair! hahahaha!" and like freddy's not PERSONALLY transphobic at least not exceptionally so or anything it's just that it's his whole schtick to exploit whatever the victim's already afraid of but anyway then our girl has that classic elm street moment where she's like "no... no! This is MY dream! I'M in control!!!" and more or less does a magical girl transformation to undo the nightmare effects and she's like so angelic and gorgeous and then she hits him with the neopussy blast and freddy's like "AAAAAAUUURGH" and dissolves into light or whatever and then she flips her hair over her shoulder like "hmph 😌" but then JUMPSCARE freddy rises back up out of the ground and grabs her and then he says "well you know what they say... death before detransition!" before kruegering her with his claws straight-up and anyway i'm not sure if this would be offensive or go hard as fuck but probably both at the same time and anyway she would be my favorite character of all time in all of fiction

[gr0undswell]

they should let us make a nightmare on elm street

[dogpuppy]

[briannyssey]

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

[briannyssey]

🥺🥺

[pillowspace]

Nearly blocked someone for a vaguely annoying reply they made in 2017 then remembered 2017 was 9 years ago. They will live. We can change *opens their blog* nevermind they got worse. Guards

[galileosballs]

Also, please do not listen to how people talk about cover letters on this site. Cover letters are important, and in many industries you can be damn sure they'll be read. And no, they're not 'fanfic about working in your office', or just re-stating the resume contents in a fancier guise. If you treat them like that, then of course they're not doing much for you. That makes you sound like a syncophantic windbag, and it's not doing anything else to help.

I was trained in the dark arts of the cover letter by my mother, who is a hiring manager. And her training has paid off: I've been consistently told my cover letters are excellent. Let me pass on the wisdom.

The job of a cover letter is to give a prospective employer strictly more information than is on the resume. This is where you take the resume contents and put them into context. You look at the job requirements (you are looking at the job requirements before applying, right?) and look at your resume and ask the question (in your head) "why would a person think this candidate would be good for this job?" and your cover letter is the answer to that question. If you don't answer that question, the hiring manager is going to have to do it themselves, and you have way more information to work with than they do.

This is especially important if you're moving from one industry to another, because then the relevant connections aren't obvious. It's also very important if you're overqualified, because then you can use the letter to say "I know it looks like this job would be too entry-level for me, but I'm interested to pursue it for reasons x, y, and z". You can also use this space to explain away something that might otherwise be disqualifying, like job-hopping or a long break in employment. The tone to strike here is always matter-of-fact and constrained to topic - don't go into detail about health stuff or personal tragedy, just tell them what they need to hear: that this period of your resume was affected by [bad thing] but that it's now in the past and you're looking forward to the next chapter. Remember, one of the things they're trying to learn is whether you'd be content in this role, or whether you'd be miserable and leave after 2 months, which would force them to do all the work of hiring again. You're trying to establish that you will fit right in and not cause problems. Knowing what drew you to this job in particular (and don't just say 'money', that's true for everyone) helps with that.

And the other mistake? Everyone writes cover letters that are too long. One page is fine. Two is the absolute maximum, and that's if you have a lot of specific things to say. It's a waste of your time and theirs to pad it out with fluff. Of my two most recent successful cover letters (i.e. jobs for which I was interviewed) one was 390 words and the other was 550. That's the length of this post. How long did it take me to write this post? About 15 minutes to write, 5 to proof and edit. That's how long you should be spending on a cover letter, maximum.

[fabrickind]

All of this!

If you don't know how to write a cover letter, here's a very basic template:

Start: letter-style salutation. If you don't know who the hiring manager is, "hiring team" or similar is fine.

Introduction paragraph: who are you, what job this is, why you are interested in it

Paragraph 1: take one part of the job description and explain how your previous experience and skills would make you good at this aspect of the position you are applying for. This should involve a brief description of what you have done previously (in a job, in education, in volunteer work, etc.), not belaboring the point, and then how those skills apply. Talk a little about how those skills have helped you in a previous position while explaining those duties. This is also where you would explain if you have transferrable skills! Say you haven't worked in this exact field before, but you have skills (so-called hard skills OR soft skills) that apply to this position. This is where you convince the hiring team that these skills apply to what you are applying for.

Paragraph 2: basically the same as Paragraph 1, but with a different part of the job description. Try for something with a different skillset.

Paragraph 3: same as above. You don't need as many as three paragraphs. You can have as few as one. It all depends on the job and how much you have to say about it.

Closing paragraph: Conclude as to why you would be a good fit for the job. Thank the hiring team for considering you and re-emphasize why you want to work there. Sum yourself up in a punchy one-sentence conclusion. Sign off like a letter.

This should all be about a page of text, as the OP mentioned. It's not rehashing your resume, but explaining those skills, elaborating on them, and convincing the person or people reading these letters that you should be interviewed because you are a good fit. (Don't say that in so many words -- "I would be a good fit because...." but rather do it professionally, like "I would bring my passion for and previously strong results in teen literacy to [teen literacy librarian role]")

It's also okay to write a few basic templates for yourself! Just be very very careful to tailor them to each position, and don't accidentally send the template itself or the exact same cover letter to multiple places (or worse, the same place multiple times). (When I was most recently job hunting I accidentally sent a cover letter with the name of a different place because I copy/pasted and didn't proofread closely enough..... don't be me LMAO)

Cover letters aren't as scary as they seem, and people will actually read them. Search up some more templates if you like, and see if there are templates for your specific field, as well, since it might vary. Good luck job hunting out there!

[nyanletnest]

bwaow

[littleguysdaily]

Yeah