If you've bought a cheerful backdrop and you're taking holiday photos for other people for money, please, for the love of Turkish delight, steam the creases out of the backdrop.

shark vs the universe
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap

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NASA

#extradirty

Love Begins
Noah Kahan
🪼
cherry valley forever
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
macklin celebrini has autism

Andulka
YOU ARE THE REASON

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izzy's playlists!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@margo-weatherwax
If you've bought a cheerful backdrop and you're taking holiday photos for other people for money, please, for the love of Turkish delight, steam the creases out of the backdrop.
Rosie's Favorite (currently finished/caught up) Podcasts:
The Amelia Project - silly, quirky, morbid but almost always more jaunty and eccentric than completely dark. Great for anyone who loves 'narrator' or interview type podcasts. If I'm not mistaken, I've posted some of my thoughts on here using the pod's hashtag.
The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbitity, and Mortality - another narrator type podcast, and probably my favorite of all time. The main voice you hear is perfect imo and keeps you engaged in all the right ways, bringing tension where it's needed, and levity where it's funny or odd. Absolutely consumed this podcast with a voraciousness I haven't felt for a bit. Keeps you guessing and always wanting more from every exhibit.
Victoriocity - excellent voice acting, interesting and unique premise and setting, and great plot. One of the podcasts I'm most looking forward to returning :) think steam punk but also it's the 1800s still in weird ways. If you love an old timey British accent, you'll love this haha.
The White Vault - probably my favorite specifically horror podcast, that makes you wait for answers in a craving sort of way, a longing to know what's going on, and not slogging through a bunch of filler to then get answers. It's great, gorey, geographically diverse fun. Interesting mashups of various cultures re: mythology, history, religion(?). Another on my list to watch out for the return of.
Midnight Burger: the quick pitch is - a time traveling diner that always services people in need, no matter what time, space, or dimension they may reside in. Excellent cast of characters, great development, wonderful implementation of a new character(s), and in general a very comfortable vibe to return to (speaking of, once I run out of recommendations I may relisten to this one). Highly recommend if you like sitcoms with time travel splashed with a bit of horror.
Edit: just finished up another one, so time to add it to the list!!
Monstrous Agonies: A radio show advice segment, about, by, and for the Creature Community. If you like WTNV, but find it a bit intense sometimes, or a bit too plot heavy/etc, you'll absolutely love this. Instead of the whole show, you just get the advice segment, but oh ho ho, is it so much more than that. If you're queer, BIMPOC, from a blended/mixed/broken/anything but 'typical' home... I think you'll like it. Very much what I would call 'easy listening', meaning you can just ease into an episode without having to remember a huge cast of characters, a plots b plots C plots meta plots... And it just feels *real*, in that strange and beautiful way WTNV does, but instead of a fictional town, the setting is the real world, with real problems, and real solutions. Sometimes you really do just need to howl or cry or chew on some slippers and that's OK. Highly recommend for ADHD havers or anyone with a short attention span who loves a soothing voice.
Edit: Another absolute banger to add to the list
Wooden Overcoats - how do I even properly describe the experience of this podcast. Let's start with the basics: It's the story of twins who run a funeral parlor on a small island, in a small village. Their family has been running said parlor for hundreds of years, as the only funeral directors on the island. Until one day... They aren't. A man arrives and sets up his own funeral parlor directly across the square, and boy, do things change for those twins. If you've listened to (and loved) Victoriocity, or The Amelia Project, I guarantee you'll enjoy this one. Strange, silly, and interesting things are always happening, except this one doesn't have quite as much drama (well...... Perhaps a different kind of drama. I'd call this an interpersonal dramedy, with emphasis on the comedy). An incredible listen, through and through. I thoroughly enjoyed every single episode, and the ending was quite safisfying :)
Another EXCELLENT addition to this ever increasing list of content!!! I'm not even finished with this one, I just love it so much that I can't help but add it to the list:
Mission Rejected - you know in those spy movies, where the spy gets a secret message from HQ and they say 'your mission, if you choose to accept it...' ok great. Now imagine if 007 said 'no'. This is the story about the backups, the team that takes the missions rejected by the Top Spy Guy. It's got diverse voice acting (in many senses of the word - you can tell the voices apart, it's not exclusively straight cis white dudes, etc etc), wonderful worldbuilding, great pacing, an excellent plot, I really could go on and on. I highly recommend this specific podcast to anyone who wants something light to get deeply invested in, that has a lot of comedy but also develops the characters outside of just their bits. 100/10 no notes
Edit: not sure which podcast/podcast enthusiast rb'ed this yesterday but I'm so glad more folks get to see this list!!! It makes me so happy that lots of folks enjoy this list, a d share their fave ones, and!!!! Aaaggghhhhhhhhh!!! I love podcasts and podcast enthusiasts!!!!!
Also I have another one for yall :3 if you're looking for another improv comedy to add to your list!!!
Hey Riddle Riddle - exactly what you think it is, but also so much more. Three friends/coworkers who also happen to be sensational improv comedians solve riddles and puzzles together, while also introducing bits and skits and reoccurring segments, so it never feels like 'just a Riddle podcast' (whatever that means). I have laughed every single episode, which is a big deal for me (some comedy podcasts only make me laugh every few episodes, and I require at LEAST one laugh per episode). I can genuinely say this is one of the funniest podcasts I've ever listened to, and the absolute best improv I've ever heard. I'm all for committing to the bit, and this one absolutely delivers on both the commitment part and the bit part haha. Seriously can't recommend this one enough if you maybe listen to a lot of drama/horror and need something easy to listen to (easy meaning there's not a plot you have to be intensely listening for, you can just enjoy it casually). 1000/10, please listen and also tell me YOUR favorite riddles :)
Reading a Terry Pratchett book is literally just: Here's a funny little joke Here's something that you can tell is a joke but don't get and will only figure out five years later Here's a surprisingly cool fantasy concept Here's a unique and well written simile Here's a lil guy Here's something that has aged depressingly well into the modern day Here's something that has aged remarkably queer into the modern day Here's a character that you can barely understand what he's saying Here is the most terrifying and deeply disturbing concept you have ever heard, casually mentioned Here is the dumbest fucking pun you've ever heard but in the best way Here is a quote so profound that it makes you view morality and the world in a different way Here is a plot twist that you can't tell if it's genius or stupid Congratulations! You've finished the book! It has fundamentally changed you as a person and you will never be the same!
On Sunday my partner ran his 3rd marathon. He's spent months training for it. To cheer him on, I walked 9.5 miles. I did not train for it. We are similarly tired 2 days later.
Recounting the weekend at work today, my skinniest coworker who has never talked about working out had to comment, "You're going to feel so good in a couple of days!" In that tone people use on fat people.
I weigh close to 300 pounds, and have been over 200 pounds my entire adult life. I have climbed mountains in this body.
The point of my anecdote was not about fitness. Running a marathon is not about fitness. It was a bad workout for everyone involved. The one mile walk we take many evenings is much better for our fitness.
Anyway, responding to the comment would've been poor timing comedically, so I just gave her a sideways look and continued with my story. But y'all, please, stop with that bullshit as if fat people have never done a hard workout before. Even if they haven't, geez, I am a grown woman!
I've visited a few cities in my life, most of them in foreign countries where my language is not their language. There's a common feeling, though, of being in a city.
Now I live in a tiny little city and catch glimpses of those larger cities here. I try to pinpoint what makes the feeling.
Is it walking on a sidewalk as businesses wake up? Catching a man in a bathrobe putting out the trash? The perfume of fried food mixed with cigarette smoke and petrichor? Is it the slow pace of cars as they go on their way? Well travelled, tame green spaces serving as waypoints for pedestrians, cyclists, and children in strollers?
Obsessed with AO3 writers, who are a particularly fascinating subspecies of homo sapien.
My dad was a carpenter. When I was a kid he was looking through the phone book for something and saw an entry for a store called "East Coast Nails." He was so excited to visit a whole store devoted to fasteners.
Imagine his surprise when he walked into a nail salon full of women fancy enough to be getting a manicure in the middle of the day. Imagine their surprise at being visited by a no doubt sweaty, bearded man in dirty, worn out overalls.
Now he's been gone for 10 years. I'm a bookkeeper by trade. I got acrylic nails for the first time last month. And yet still when I turn my hands sometimes I am still struck by how much they resemble his hands.
even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk
*straightens calculator*
It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:
n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.
Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries
*straightens calculator again*
Kick the fucking door in
well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it.
some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here
No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.
Sherlock out.
it got better
and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….
Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.
Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.
The light is green.
The door is already open.
And that’s why we have a John Watson.
This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.
Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!
Idk if I’ve rebloged this before, but I’ll reblog this legend again
Smithsonian? I’ve found the quintessential Tumblr and Sherlock fandom post. Yes. I would consider it definitive.
Ahh it’s back.
“And that’s why we have a John Watson”, indeed 😂
Legend of a post. 10/10 recommend reblogging.
this post is on my dash I feel HONORED
THE POST OF LEGENDS HAS RESURFACED ON MY DASH
I’VE ONLY EVER SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS OMG
On your dash? I dig for gold like this,,, by looking at my mutual pages.
I’ve only seen this on Pinterest!
*gasp* THE SACRED TEXTS!
THIS IS A LEGENDARY POST I HAVE BEEN GRACED BY IT’S APPEARANCE!!!
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Why did Tumblr stop doing stuff like this, it’s genuinely fascinating, and cute that we include our favorite media in things we do
Well. Since you asked. I was on tumblr as this post was being built in 2013. The height of superwholock. Which has, since then, been declared peak cringe. So people picked new fandoms to openly love in earnest. Which were also eventually declared cringe. Eventually the youth decided to cut out the middleman, and declared loving anything in earnest to be fully cringe. So it has been a really long time since the day to day users of tumblr have let any fandom create anything nearing the cultural phenomenon that was superwholock. And it is exactly those cultural phenomena that are needed to create posts like this.
So. What happened? Cringe culture happened.
Try and imagine what would happen if this post wasn’t the “sacred texts” only ever seen in screen shots and in pinterest. Try and imagine any current pop culture detective media fandom creating this post today. They’d be slaughtered for being cringe by the time (in this case) Sherlock was mentined.
But because this post is 10 years old and completely broke containment, it’s celebrated when it graces our dashes.
I blazed a small fandom event announcement. Because I was genuinely excited to be part of a Big Bang for a wonderful movie. One of the first responses I got was “Why would you blaze this?” Because of genuine excitement. Because I wanted to celebrate the friends I’d met in the fandom To spread joy to people who might also like the content but hadn’t seen it yet. The fact that that was genuinely not realized made me sad. I love thing, I celebrate thing. I’m too old for cringe. Cringe is dead. Love what you love. Enjoy the small things in life, it’s too short to do otherwise.
CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND WE KILLED IT.
SPREAD THE LOVE FOR YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS
CRINGE CULTURE DIED AND
WE KILLED IT.SPREAD THE LOVE FOR
YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I hope Oppenheimer knows it's riding on Barbie's coattails. I'm not saying I wouldn't watch it, it's got Florence Pugh, but I certainly wouldn't go see another long movie glorifying a white man killing people in the theaters. You want me to watch explosions in a theater?! Maybe at home when I'm feeling particularly audacious. But somehow he got connected with Barbie and now it's a whole thing.
Please, send her back
Riding your bike with your partner at dusk to buy a couple of groceries after hanging out with your friends on a summer evening so warm even the breeze your movement creates is warm.
i often think about that deep diving expedition where a toad was caught on camera at the bottom of loch ness
i wonder how he’s doing
Probably mad we found his hideout. Good thing he put his dino costume away before the camera arrived. Then he wouldve never had any peace.
People love to talk about the immortality of the machine, but I'm a mechanical engineer, so I know they delude themselves. Most machines are far more mortal than flesh.
How long does a machine last? A car is a very solid machine, expensive, precision designed, and you're lucky if you get more than three decades out of them.
Your enemy is not the flesh. It's entropy. It's the death knell of the energy imbalance. If you want to live as a complex machine you will, by necessity, generate a great deal of entropy until your machine breaks irrevocably.
You want to be immortal? Then don't worship the machine, worship the stone, the forest. Seek that which is either simple enough to never know death or diffused enough to accept every death.
Your enemy is not the flesh. It's entropy.
Is it too much to ask for the flesh to generate a little less entropy
Sorry buddy that's the cost of being a complex being, comes with the territory.
"It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean."
How old do you think the author of this quote was when it was written? Like what was the context for needing a catchy little poem to defend penis sizes?
Barbie being a hyper feminine, pink, girly icon while being described as asexual by Margot Robbie is v important to me, as a hyper feminine, asexual and aromatic girl who loves pink, cute, girly things just bc they make me happy
As an ace person myself, thinking back to the way I played with Barbies, this really resonates with me.
So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.
Stay with me.
We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.
I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.
It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.
(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)
Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.
My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.
When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.
We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.
Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.
The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.
I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.
Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”
Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.
But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.
The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.
The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.
No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.
The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.
Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.
WOE
PLATE BE UPON YE