Big Dreams and A Love For Memes

[internetdruid]

Corn in all its colors!

[did-you-know]

The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source

[aclockworknick]

he was actually a forestry graduate student who was doing research on bristlecone pines (Pinus langaevea) and got his increment borer stuck in the tree. this tool costs almost $800, so he asked the forest service if he could cut down the tree to recover the tool. after cutting it down, it became apparent that the tree was actually the oldest living organism. ever. (around 8,000 years old). so, not just some asshole. the guy feels extremely guilty and has even broken down in tears during an interview about the accident

[wellshitcaitlin]

OH MY GOD SO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY

So after the grad student cut down the tree and discovered it was the oldest tree in the world he quit studying forestry and went to study salt flats (can’t cut down the oldest trees in the world on salt flats no siree none of that happening) and he was being interviewed about his research, but in the middle of the interview the reporter just stops and says “wait aren’t the guy that…”

And he just takes off running. Literally. Turns around and runs across the salt flats away from the interview and I feel so bad for him but I can’t help but start crying I’m laughing so hard about it imagine a guy high tailing it across salt flats away from a dude with a recorder

[catchymemes]

[drtanner]

As someone with a husky cross at home, I can confirm that they really do try to sound like you, lmao.

[skinoutqueen]

I love ass so much. I get emotional.

[itsexclusive]

[typhlonectes]

[irelyre]

Oh yeah, The Ordeal. Its normal to wake up in a cold sweat years later with nightmares about The Ordeal. Anyone who didn't go through The Ordeal is forever marked as a little too carefree. A little too uninhibited. Its illegal not to send your kids to The Ordeal.

[kushblazer666]

my mom’s getting too into the meme game

[lornagonigall]

your mother is funnier than literally everyone on tumblr

[toskarin]

in my sickly haze I somehow installed 2 tumblrs

[toskarin]

the tumblr brothers

[toskarin]

so interesting news but after using both for a bit, while they initially seemed the same, it has become clear that the right tumblr app takes place in a timeline where 9/11 did not happen

[spookymanners]

is it better there

[toskarin]

you might think so but you'll never believe what happened on 9/12

[rhymneybelle]

[helloitsbees]

[tanukifucker91]

[soft-lovely]

people

[doegirldick]

they should invent a new constellation and call it the big sniffer

[angelsystems]

what would it look like

[doegirldick]

like this maybe

[excalibelle]

me watching monsters inc as a kid: how did it take so long for anyone to figure out that human child laughter not only produced energy like screams, but was more effective, and that children aren’t actually dangerous at all?

me watching monsters inc now: monsters incorporated, a multi-billion dollar corporate giant, stood to make extra profits off a scream shortage because low supply with high demand makes it possible to charge a fortune for a necessary commodity and everyone has no choice but to pay the high prices because they can’t go without electricity. Therefore Monsters Inc, as well as any other major powers that may have existed at the start of the era of using scream energy, fabricated the idea that only screams could generate sustainable energy sources in order to create artificial scarcity, because laugh energy was far easier to obtain and far more efficient, and therefore stood to lower the value of energy due to surplus. They also fabricated the idea that human children were toxic, in order to a) make other monsters too afraid to go near them to do research and possibly discover the secret of laugh energy, and b) to make monsters so afraid of going near them that there is a shortage of scarers, making it harder for rival companies to rise up and create competition. Even in the monster world, capitalism is based on lies, greed and cruelty, and even monster companies have no qualms about using and abusing children to maximize profits.

[left-reminders]

[ruins-and-rewritez]

I love it when there's a couple but then there's a third guy who's also there and he's part of it but not like romantically he's just a part of the couple but like....platonically

[libertineangel]

Mark Hamill inviting himself to breakfast with Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher

[calebwittebane]

no idea where i was going with this but i abandoned it at the most disconcerting moment possible

[andromedamemes]

I like using brand names as generic terms, because they can lose their trademark and thus their power and brand recognition through genericization. Examples of former trademarks that have now been genericized include Aspirin, Trampoline, and Escalator. Examples of current trademarks at risk of genericization include Bandaid, Photoshop, and Frisbee. If we work together, we can take them down. List of brands we've conquered. You can help by expanding this list.

[xanaxfarts]

Fruit-Shaped Bus Stops (1990) Location: Nagasaki, Japan

[vanity-complex]

What if we, fruit, kissed in the fruit bus stops 👀

[byjove]

cis people will say “I found out I’m having a baby girl at my anatomy scan and I’m experiencing gender disappointment” but be mad when you say “who knows? maybe you’ll end up with a son anyway”

[byjove]

they found this post and they’re very very in their feelings about it

[blue-eyes-white-cheddar]

Cis people will basically just sag “I’m sexist” and you say “maybe you don’t have to be” and they say “well now I’m gonna be transphobic too”

[ryebreadgf]

not going to lie guys i don’t think being employed is for me

[prettyaveragewhiteshark]

devastated to report that being unemployed is also terrible

[rosalinastan]

it's almost like we need to entirely restructure society or something

[veralena-deactivated20240731]

man this politics shit is easy

[matrixonvhsanddvd]

Funny ass way to censor urself

[fionn-o-nassus]