Max

  24 She/Her  18+ account 

[ashenmind]

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

do you think the first person to fart thought their ass was possessed

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

That would explain a lot tbh

[raccoonmilf]

I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding today and the only two songs on the do not play list are “we didn’t start the fire” and “fergalicious” and if you are confused to as why, please consider the fact that the bride and I met at promstuck

[raccoonmilf]

We all had to write signs about how we met and she didn’t let me use my homestuck sign and made me put “raccoons” lmaooooo

[raccoonmilf]

Photo proof of the lie I was forced to share ::::(

💙🕷️♏️😔🙏

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

This is fabulous

[jesse-pinko]

I don’t want to be like fuckoff rich bc of my like fundamental beliefs or whatever but God do I want to be rich enough for a koi pond. Koi fish my beloveds

[mercurymk]

Just posted a guide that I spent 8 hours making for writing fics "smut and non smut" and how to make an outline that will either get me jumped or get me a lot of thank yous

Here's the link if you wanna take a look to gain some of my autistic experience or of you wanna add something that can help

How to Write Good Smut/Non Smut Fics by MercuryMK

PLEASE REBLOG IT, IT TOOK ME 8 HOURS OF MY LIFE AND IT'S 10 AM AND I DIDN'T SLEEP IN 4 DAYS!!!!

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

Love this

[chipper-smol]

fun behaviors to give dragons that aren't feline/canine based

cause as much as i love dragons purring and roaring i wish there was just more variety in how they would act

clacking their teeth together to show contentedness/happiness (budgies)

using tails as a defensive weapon in a whip like fashion (iguana)

twitching to express that they're not a threat to members of their species (hognose snake)

feeling calm when eyes are hooded/covered (birds of prey)

head bobbing as a threat display (anoles/bearded dragons)

flattening neck or sides to appear bigger (snakes/lizards)

mantling over food to protect it from hatchmates (birds of prey)

wiggling neck as a courting maneuver (budgies)

audibly grinding teeth as a warning (macaques)

maintained eye contact as a challenge (gorillas)

pounding wings against sides as a threat (gorillas)

slapping other dragons with their claws when their personal bubble is invaded (seals)

hoards used as a site to impress mates (birds of paradise)

snorting when undergoing heightened stress (horses)

making repeated loud noises with surroundings to establish territory (woodpeckers)

loud constant arguments with other dragons when roosting (bats)

building lairs that cause a domino effect of change in the land around them (beavers)

slapping their tails against the ground/water as a warning (beavers)

wiggling tail tip to attract prey (various animals)

wiggling tail tip as a warning (snakes)

plucking or scraping off scales as a sign of stress (parrots)

raising spines/frills as a response to danger and carrying on with their usual business as they believe they're protected (lionfish)

and im not saying canine and feline behaviors are wrong or bad to give a dragon (people wouldn't write dragons with those behaviors if they weren't fun in the first place!) but i feel for creatures that are mythological giant winged lizards that you can do more and get experimental with it. often the more unfamiliar behavior the more dragony the dragon feels

[kaijutegu]

Some more ideas for vocals:

Geckos chirp and bark, some of them quite a bit.

Baby crocodilians make laser noises to summon their parents. A long, repeated bout of laser noises is an affiliative call, but chirps with pauses in between is "mom come pick me up I'm scared." (If you ever hear the laser noises in the wild, get away from the water's edge, there are few creatures as scary as a mother crocodilian defending her babies.)

Adult crocodilians hiss and bellow, and when they bellow, there's an infrasonic layer we cannot hear but a rider would feel... and it makes water dance on their backs. They do this in groups during mating season.

Many lizards make a huff sound when they're annoyed. I don't have a video for this one but it's like the audible equivalent of a teenage eye roll.

When the Chihuahuan hook-nosed snake is scared, it farts dramatically.

Not a reptile in the classical sense of the word, but a reptile in the taxonomic one- a parrot's syrinx shriek (the bad noise)

Another terrible bird noise

My favorite "why does it sound like that" bird noise

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

To be honest, I view dragons as oversized Tokay Geckos who tolerate their chosen one.

[detailedart]

Rise and collapse of a wave. Details of paintings by Michael Zeno Diemer (1867-1939)

[i-dont-exist-ehehehehehe]

What pride flag did you get?

gay

lesbian

Pansexual

Intersex

bisexual

asexual

aromantic

aroace

nonbinary

rainbow

transgender

Voting ended onJun 8

[winter103x]

seeing sambucky being described as a situationship always makes me giggle 😭

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

Is Avengers and Avengerz the messy divorce?

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you love ao3 exactly how it is and you don’t want it to “update” or change in any way♡

[kedreeva]

Mantis is SUCH a pretty bird, and because Bug raised her, she's also the best of both worlds- wants to be pet by humans, easily hangs out with the other birds. Lets me put 4-leaf clovers on her head like a hat so I can take cute photos of her.

[kaenith]

Felt compelled to draw this magical scene <3

[kedreeva]

#A peacock named Mantis!!#I am living two lives!#Mantis is beautiful!! (via @ambermantis)

you're living three lives. I call her mom "bug" as a nickname but her name name is Amber. the world is small and full of love :)

[monamoni]

[thebibliosphere]

Opening my author email these days really is just some variation of "hello influencer, we have noticed your [product] and that you are very good at it. We would like to talk to you about a way you can expand your audience using our unique subscription service training people how to self publish there book," and that's great and all, but I'm doing that shit for free.

[thebibliosphere]

Anyway, in light of Draft2Digital implementing fees for new authors or authors who do not make the yearly threshold of sales (I get why they're doing it, and it's still less expensive than Ingram by a country mile. But it still sucks for the people affected by it and it will drive more people to Amazon :/), you can publish your digital media directly through Kobo.

They do not offer paperbacks or hardbacks at this time.

But their digital market has the same e-book and audio market reach as D2D/Ingram and allows for library lending. So if you are an indie author who was mostly using D2D for that library access, and for whom the maintenance fees would be prohibitive against your earnings, you can use Kobo for free.

I haven't used it, because I'm not affected by the D2D fees and I didn't want to mess up my market listings by having duplicates, but when I heard about the D2D fees, I started researching so I could hopefully find a free alternative with comparable market reach. And good old Kobo was there.

Anyway. Hope that helps someone.

[thebibliosphere]

Also, to any authors still using Kindle Unlimited, I'd highly suggested thinking about moving over the Kobo+.

It allows for the same subscription model as KU, but doesn't enforce an exclusivity clause, so you can still mass sell through the global market and also be hosted in libraries.

I know it seems risky when KU is so established, but Kobo+ subscriptions are increasing quite a bit as even the most stalwart of Kindle fans get sick of Amazon, and my Kobo+ numbers are starting to eclipse Kindle, which is delightful.

The more we as authors push readers to Kobo+, the more freedom we'll have, so I think it's a worthwhile endeavor, for us and them.

Anyway, that's your two bits of free indie advice for the weekend.

[agent616-declassified]

each time i see ppl use AI for casual uses and creating stupid images, i feel like more and more like mack did about AIDA in season 4 of agents of shield

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

Item: A New Address Rarity: ✦ Uncommon

If you could choose a game to live in, what would it be?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

Pokèmon, for fun

[maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals]

[fronomeeps]

my favorite animal, the shat