May

22 they/them/bro/dude

[troll-star]

*speaks only in half sentences and leaves the rest to telepathy*

[publicpreference]

Why do I actually do this

[mayde-in-hell]

I would LOVE to be a troll

[mayde-in-hell]

except the only thing I hate is myself and idk how to troll myself honestly

[mayde-in-hell]

I would LOVE to be a troll

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[queenboudica76]

The "I wanna be the meat in an old rock star sammich" masterpost

The classic

ADORABLE

He's stoned and I don't care, I'll be in the middle of a Jimbert hash sandwich

Oh me me me pick me, can I just grab the other side of Jimmy there...

Ok this earns a full on tackle. Let the chips fall where they may, whoever I still have ahold of after it's said and done, goes home with me.

Jimmy, stop it. Just. Stop.

Dammit why are they so cool? Hey can I squeeze in there for a second? Guys?

Oh look, it's a Terry Reid/Robert Plant flavoured sammich! Terry is so cute, I'll sample some of that, thanks.

@ashtoashes14 @girlofthemoon75 @ledbythreads @tophats-n-lespauls @the-cyprinid

[ledbythreads]

A Terry/Robert special - @sacramentogirl23 must have ordered it

umm I will have a Jimmy sub with lemon please - @incredifishface what about yoo?

[ijaazat]

it's time to take out my ugly sweaters

[diarygirls]

being born in the late 90′s is a really weird time because our coming of age is/was so tied into the expansion of personal technology? like for so many of us the transition from getting your first flip phone to smartphones wasn’t just a technology shift, it was part of growing up. and it created this really weird timeline where new technologies were being created right as we entered the right age market to use them, so now we all know intuitively how to use snapchat or the social context of emoji use or whatever but we can also remember childhoods spent (almost) entirely outside and offline. like you get all the disillusionment of the older millennial generation except now with the stress of spending your adolescence measuring yourself against others on social media and it’s really fucking confusing

[marvelsmostwanted]

[senatortedcruz]

God I love Reddit

[saintgulik]

she sounds so sure that this is a common thing like. name literally anyone else with a grinch fetish

[scottsumrners]

[protoluigi]

[sineva]

Mackenzie Davis for Flaunt, photographed by Jason Hetherington

[thej0ry]

you know how if a baby gets hurt and they’re about to cry but you can start laughing or cooing and they won’t cry but laugh or whatever instead? Yea.. don’t do that. It’s been proven that it makes them think pain is “funny” and they will turn into killers -___-

[thej0ry]

Yes unfortunately, look at what happened to my siblings after my mom would make them laugh and not cry after they ran into a door or tripped or something

-Sarah (now goes by THE MUTILATOR) -Terry (Versace) -Kyle (The Killer) -Allie (Blood-Drinker) -Allie 2 (Blood-Drinker 2 (She could have used the whole New Name thing to distance herself from the fact that our mom named her Allie 2 because she looks exactly like Allie, but she kinda just doubled down on it even though she hated the name Allie 2…. She’s just a uncreative killer now :(((((((   -Fred (I Am Going To Put My Hands In Your Guts And Play With Them But Not In A Fun Way For You, A Fun Way For Me - if you dont say his whole Killer Name he crys and kills you) -Derrick (Josh)

[b0hannon]

but what about you OP?

[thej0ry]

Me? Well since I was the youngest I was entirely forgotten about by my parents and a pack of feral street dogs home invaded us one night and stole me away to raise me the dog way.

this is me now

[pleasetrysomethingelse]

Talk about whiplash

[thej0ry]

Alright, well it’s a movie about a guy wanting to be a jazz drummer and the instructor he has is very cruel and abusive - but although his methods have driven a past student to kill himself, in the end the main guy is able to drum solo really fast so it all works out!

[ruinedchildhood]

[mayde-in-hell]

jesus this reminds me of my first day of 4th grade and how I went and sat amongst 5th graders and they were all in uniform and the teacher said why are u not wearing a uniform and I didn't say a word because I was so shoook and confused and just sat there until one of the seniors from my bus was like: miss I think she's in the wrong class

and then I broke down and was escorted to my classroom and showed up fashionably late to my own class

basically we really need to have proper numbers outside classrooms this bitch could not fuck with Roman numerals in 4th grade ok thank you

[inaminadikaaa]

[t3andcrumpets]

Jesus, this ain’t no fucking lie.

[hungwy]

i think we should breed rats to the size of horses. i think this is ethical and even necessary

[johnricharddeacy]

Brian May’s hands.

That’s it. That’s the post.

[vivalatinamerica-deactivated201]

can someone please explain how it’s possible that every single month this year ended as quickly as it started and yet this whole year has felt like an eternity

[cmonandhauntme]

[teaboot]

My old man once said to me, “your thoughts are so random and unconnected. We were just talking about the carnival- how did you get started on wasps?”

So, I told him, “they’re not unconnected- we were talking about going to the carnival, and the carnival is on the same fairgrounds they used to use for the rodeo, and one time at the rodeo my brother spilled sprite on himself and a bee went up his shirt and stung him, and bees die when they sting, but wasps don’t, and I was wondering why, so I asked you.”

And he said, “that makes no sense,” and for the life of me I can’t understand how anyone thinks of anything if not by this exact process