That's a lie I'm really sweet...

Bipolar, bisexual biped. Love space, love science, hate the patriarchy and hate the Republicans.

[giajade]

Have you ever just randomly cried because you’ve been holding shit in for too long?

[aliilovely]

Every week

[trippietxxsh]

at least three times a week

[melanin-king]

I definitely read this wrong…I was gonna suggest more fiber in y'all diet

[pinkpeppermints]

Stripper culture is (thread, add on if you want)

Your parents thinking you’re a bartender

Not having a social life

Having the joints of an 85 year old woman

Being as disgusting as possible outside work because putting in effort is exhausting when you’re not getting paid

d i s s o c i a t i n g

Washing your planned outfit in the sink and blasting it with a hair dryer 30 minutes before you’re supposed to leave

Your therapist telling you that having a regular sleep schedule is good for your mental health and laughing in her face because what even is sleep?

Not being heterosexual

Crying into a bowl of ramen noodles at 4am

Being late for everything with a Starbucks in your hand

Destroyed libido

Messy ass apartment because you never have the energy to clean up

Body acne that you just can’t get rid of

[kathereal]

*ass clapping as an idling pose when you do your day to day activities (like standing in line at the grocery store)

*making fun of pole hobbyists and competitors and watching with disgust as they do THE LEG THING…yall know the thing

*counting expenses and wishlist items in units of lapdance or stage sets(“damn I would need to do day and night shift to cover this bill!”)

[hashtag-stripper-problems]

*“can I leave early?”

*not interacting with men for free

*collecting hundreds of work outfits but wearing 3

*not shaving unless absolutely necessary

*justifying new makeup and outfit purchases because it’ll “help your earning potential”

*leftover taco Bell is a perfectly acceptable breakfast at 3pm

*struggling to run errands because you’re asleep during “regular business hours”

[lapdanseuse]

- ALWAYS buying razors, baby wipes, gum, and junk food

- your phone contacts are like: Allen club, bald dj, Bambi (Elizabeth), Mike club, Mike club 2, Mike club 3 big tips, oil field guy, Robert club, VIP glasses guy

- having a giant envelope of receipts from victoria’s secret, yandy, and the adult store labeled “for taxes”

[odinsblog]

“I’m not going to the fucking White House. No.”

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[disimba]

[neoitalodance]

This is my favourite baroque painting

[cherrydanish]

[theoppositeofadults]

he snapped

[not-terezi-pyrope]

Fucking A+ right here

[longscarydream]

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

[zerofarad]

“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

[citrusgroves]

I’ve been doing this for years

It’s all on a google doc of mine (x)

[gaylor-moon]

Whomst trying to road trip

[babelady]

when that seasonal depression hit someone add a pic im on mobile

[winduppup]

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

Bandersnatch sounds like British slang for pussy

[potstickersandpizza]

and yet “family-friendly” disney still hired him to play doctor strange. what a disgrace

[dykebisclavret]

this post is like getting smacked in the face twice

[suffuse]

in case you haven’t noticed, im WEIRD. I’m a weirdo. i dont fit in. and i dont WANT to fit in.

have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? Thats weird.

[moniquill]

[jpechacek]

Nobody called me but I showed up anyway.

[we-are-guildmaster]

[sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2]

[probsjosh]

What the hell even is the this post

[goys2men]

It’s the sins of humanity crying out to be known

[mamoru]

I had a dream that unless the teacher told us class was over, we were forbidden from going out the door. Our teacher was very forgetful, and maybe even malicious. After being forced to stay past sunset many days, my class decided we were going to break out every night. Eventually our attempts led us to discovering rifts in space-time where we could warp. So we never used the door. Checkmate.

[turbro]

the window

[mamoru]

what? you going to critique my dreams? my subconscious creations, that I did by accident, while asleep? the chemicals in my brain? are you going to use your foul eyes and dissect all of the plotholes in my dreams? you going to critique the weather? harass the clouds? make fun of thunder for being off key? remind me to come to your house and shred your shoes

[lovesjustachemical]

That response is fucking Shakespearean.

[ruinedchildhood]

Or more accurately…

[feministism]

[1991series]

[crowisgone-deactivated20230422]

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”