Go Stick Your Head in a Pig

[dragongirlsweetie]

boss makes a spider i make a slime. that's why i . thas why, tthats why i uhhh. t. thawhy

[dragongirlsweetie]

t.gats why i can't think up an end to the rhyme

[evilwizard]

GET BACK TO WORK

[itsjesscapade]

[milf--adjacent]

Nothing in the rule book says a dog can't play basketball. There are a couple rules against trans women, however, so she'll have to leave.

[exlibra]

fuck this piece of shit station i hope the dominion blows it up

[animentality]

[isotridecanol]

[radawaycunt]

What if we were two horrid little beasts in a medieval illuminated manuscript

[radawaycunt]

AND we kissed, also

[guerrillatech]

[blorbo-posting]

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

I've just found the single most homoerotic piece of LOTR art ever who wants to see

[outlaw-monarch]

Um, YES?

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

This is The Taming of Smeagol by Donato Giancola and by god they're gonna have a threeway with that wriggly guy

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

[proverbialphoenix]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[extrathicccarlwheezer]

the gif is even funnier

[badassdemonsword]

My dark confession is that i want to put moisturizer on a vulture's head

[frickomode]

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

[caudachroma]

cow triangles

[lumsel]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[unusual-pybro]

[m1dori-eyes]

Nobody has ever been capable of writing a scathingly harsh and well formulated satire about the perils of modern capitalism, that doesn't just get immediately one-upped by some random food service worker talking about their actual week.

[prokopetz]

Look, I understand that you're going through some shit, and you know I'll always support you, but I just had to fight your shadow-self in the kitchen. Yeah, I was getting breakfast and the enfleshed eidolon of your existential alienation was shooting, I don't know, some sort of beam.

[prokopetz]

It banished the Froot Loops to a far and sunless realm. I really wanted those.

[froxictog]

#also i recognise that the self that walks in darkness is not inherently any more true than the self that walks in the light#but i've gotta ask: is there something going on that i should know about#like#pronoun-wise?

[stantler]

[sacred-portal]

[justaslimyswamprock]

Tumblr what the absolute FUCK are you talking about

[himynameisemail]

[unionizedwizard]

[oujamon]