[miss-mania]

I regularly have dreams I refer to as "Big Luca Dreams", wherein my dog Luca is very big. They are my favorite dreams.

This is how big Luca is in the Big Luca Dreams

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I'm telling you; the time allotted for rest and the time allotted for relaxation should not come out of the same bucket.

I would like to do a low key enjoyable activity for my own benefit, but god fucking damn it. I need to sleep. Eyes need to be shut. honk shu mimimi. I do not get to relax because I only ever get to rest.

[koobiie]

i feel strongly about this

[ailurinae]

[64mpg]

if i do something wrong they kill me

[64mpg]

[yellow-cat]

the small stinker spends time with me on the couch

[yellow-cat]

[yellow-cat]

the small stinker has a resting angry face

[swampthing07]

[swampthing07]

[depsidase]

[longseasons]

[gwydionmisha]

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[sasstricbypass]

[frogliftcertified]

what is it they put in the hardware store to make it smell so good

[frogliftcertified]

OK 👍 that is helps

[monster1994]

happy june everybody i hope you get fucked and/or sucked this month

[kazokuhouou]

what if we don't wanna be?

[monster1994]

then i hope for peace

[targetedknowledge]

[bethanythebogwitch]

You CREATE Miette? you drag her from peaceful nonexistance into loud reality? oh! oh! jail for demiurge! jail for demiurge for One Thousand Years!

[mtndewbajablast]

“i’m autistic” = 👍

“i’m a little autistic” = mark of the beast for annoying people

[mtndewbajablast]

“touch of the ‘tism” = punishable offense

[mtndewbajablast]

cartel style execution

[thebibliosphere]

I need to send a "per your last email" email because the person I'm dealing with gave me conflicting information and is now trying to make me the problem.

They even had the audacity to screenshot their own email, so I've screenshot their most recent email in the same email thread that counters that other email, and now I'm trying to find a professional way to say, "this you?"

Fun times.

[ms-demeanor]

"My apologies, I was under the impression that we were moving forward on the information here [include most recent screenshot] - is that incorrect? Please clarify which is most accurate."

[thebibliosphere]

God, thank you. I've been staring at an empty text box for 20 minutes. You're a gem.

[theweirdwideweb]

[marlinspirkhall]

Scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot, scoot scoot scoot scoot

edit: this post is a severely different experience with the sound on

[Video shows a snake crawling across the sofa cushions while music plays in the background: "you said: ain't nothing gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on moving, ain't nothing gonna break my stride- [end video]