Milkshake-and-Chips ,

18, INTJ, Slytherin, my life is the emotional equivalent to watching paint dry. Which allowed me to flourish into a staright up bitch ;)

[a-yoda-a-day]

imagine being so bad at moderating your own website you decide to just kill half the user base and not fix any of the actual problems

[raptortooth]

Isn’t this the plot of Infinity War

[somewhereinjersey]

[weavemama]

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

[trip-usingizi-rp-blog]

This shit is wild.

[goodshinyhunter]

There should be an amber alert or something to warn us, hopefully. But if you’re so close to the blast that the entire outside flashes white your first priority is to get underneath the blastwave any way you can.

After that you have 2 options: drive away or protect yourself from the radiation.

Option one is tough because literally everybody else is going to want to do this, and you could get stuck right in the fallout. And lemme tell you, if you’re stuck out there when the ashes first fall for more than 15 minutes, you’re dead. Radiation poisoning.

Option two is harder, but has a better success rate. Get underground. Most houses have a crawlspace, but in this bad time just saw a fucking hole in your floor. Put table over hole. Pack some large containers (like tubs), with dirt, tight, and stack them on your table or wherever you’re going to be directly underneath. you need 36 inches if dirt to be protected from the radiation poisoning. You could preemptively buy lead and stick that in a container with a lot of serface area, i forget how many inches you need vertically.

How ever much serface area the dirt/metal/lead covers is how much you and your party will be able to move around. As long as there’s enough inches vertically you’ll be good so long as you stay under it.

You gotta stay under there for at least 2 weeks, 3 to be sure.

[galaxy-manticore]

Also, if you can see the mushroom cloud, stick your arm out as far as you can. Do a thumbs-up and close one eye. If your thumb is bigger than the cloud, you are safe. If the cloud is bigger or the same size as your thumb, then that means you are in the radiation zone and should evacuate immediately.

[transgirlpinup]

Fuck I cant believe this is something I need to reblog.

[trainerlyra-deactivated20170216]

[luckydreaming]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[onceuponakhaleesi]

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

[jamesbleach]

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

[usedtobehmc]

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

[coffeeandcursewords]

This post is immaculate

[mobians-and-chaos-blog]

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

[strampunch]

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

[pokemon-chick-1personalblog-blog]

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

[combthecombel]

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

[verityglasses]

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

[fairytail-angel]

This is one of my favourite things to look at

[strampunch]

holy shit this stuff is back

[livia-jones]

The Gravity Falls one though

[nightowlhowell]

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

[artfulhobbes]

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

[clolymoly-deactivated20190507]

IT GOT BETTER

[nukewolf]

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

[cm8x-insanity]

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

[roses-in-fire]

Never not reblog

[ryrobsessed]

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

[cate-geo]

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

[dvonmc]

Friggin, yis

[wildishmazz]

Always reblog.

[the-last-teabender]

IT HAS EVOLVED

[evilblackcat13]

The legend marches on…

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

[bittythemagpiedragon-blog]

JDNXHSBSBF

[hotshotriot]

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

[99-cent-arizona-tea]

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

[teeble-spoon]

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

[fandombandomrandom42]

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

[i-srsly-need-to-stop-deactivate]

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

[ofcosmicflux-deactivated2019013]

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

[saucy-majora-deactivated2021062]

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

[knowledgemimic]

Should…… should I…….

[breathingcolorsblog]

DO IT!

[knowledgemimic]

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

[thevaultbox]

IT GOT EVEN BETTER XD

[askbendygizmo]

THE HAT MEME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nuitarius]

HAHAHA, never seen that one, it’s extraordinary!

[bryantsupreme]

Bury me with an mp3 of this on a USB drive. 🔥🔥🙌🏾

[imsoshive]

[done]

[bijoux-et-mineraux]

Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo

[xekstrin]

*looks around*

Is

Is anyone gonna say it

[brambledboneyards]

malachite is a poisonous mineral. please do not fuck the malachite stalactite

[zdravomilla-deactivated20220114]

@lizaleigh do you know any rock people that can confirm/deny because I am very curious and really don’t feel like getting into a conversation with my geophysicist brother that MAY somehow get back to the fact I saw a malachite that looked like a weird dildo.

[lizaleigh]

…sadly, I am not on good enough terms with any of our partner geologists to just attach this to an email with the subject line: “EXPLAIN.” Although I think @mollisaurus is a mineral person. Thoughts?

[mollisaurus]

oh geeze, i’m kinda rusty on minerals but malachite is just copper carbonate and is really common in both antique and modern jewelry so i think like if you were really gun-ho about it you could go ahead and put it wherever you want?

[vulcanology-geology]

It’s really only a problem if you’re polishing or cutting it. The particles would be bad to breathe. It’s rather porous too, so I would worry about bacteria growing. Well, being literal anyway… Better to leave the poor thing alone. ._.

[thepioden]

I mean it kinda depends on where you stick it because malachite does not like acidic environments very much and the malachite will degrade and also might dye your bits blue-green as the copper dissolves out.

So use a condom when fucking rocks is the takeaway here.

[rosenagldky-deactivated20201223]

Oh my god guys it’s poisonous

It is super poisonous

There is a reason we do not use it in make up any more

Not even with a condom, do not fuck the rock

[nassadii]

Try this one instead. 

[naughtylittledragon]

malachite literally explodes in water does it not?

[rosenagldky-deactivated20201223]

I… no… I think you’re thinking of pure sodium?

Malachite is however water soluble, which really just means it will poison you quicker

[reclusiveandelusive]

This is both hilarious and cool as fuck because you’re getting all this information on minerals and rocks. You’re also watching people argue over wether or not you can fuck this rock

[bijoux-et-mineraux]

I go on hiatus for a week and come back to find tumblr molesting my post, but hey, at least we all learned something so yay tumblr, you just keep on  being you.

[aimee-b-loved]

I’m still not sure if I can fuck this rock.

[adulthoodisokay]

I’m looking into it.

[adulthoodisokay]

UPDATE:

[buzzfeed]

Today in “I’m so sorry, coworkers, it’s for Tumblr,” I brought this post to the attention of the science reporters at BuzzFeed. Dan Vergano did some research and weighed in on the question: “Can you use malachite as a dildo or is it toxic?”

The answer is “It’s probably fine, just wash it first and maybe use a bunch of lube.”

[laughterbynight]

When I first saw this post I NEVER thought it would go this far. 

[masayume85]

I think this is hands down my favorite “this is what Tumblr is” post to date.

[xekstrin]

look mom I’m famous

[milkshake-and-chips99]

Be very cautious my friends

I may have picked up a virus on my Tumblr, so if i spam anyone please ignore it. And avoid any spam messages asking you to go to this website -->  goo.gl/Jb8LH6, it will usually be a spam message saying they found a funny picture of you on that blog, but it is not a blog its a virus. If you accidentally click on it, change your password immediately. Stay safe my friends. 

[captain-narraboth]

peak DC homophobia: finally getting to bridal carry your boyfriend, but only when he’s dead

[awinchesterwithabox]

On a scale from 1 to 10 my excitement is literally 13

[harleyquinnsquad]

Once in a while someone comes along that deserves every single solitary damn thing they ask for. 

Harley Quinn Vol 3 #19

[theoldness]

[khanos-deactivated20170219]

it’s vegan 😍

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

cashier: sorry for your wait. we’re short-staffed today

millennial: oh that’s ok no worries :)

 baby boomer:

[tnerdbean]

But listen that’s the thing. 

We are short staffed almost 97% of the time at my retail job. Because corporate has figured out you can overwork 4 people at minimum wage instead of paying for the 8 people you should probably have to be on the clock.  

Baby boomers grew up with stores that were adequately staffed, with workers who most likely had weeks of training for their jobs as opposed to the 1-2 shadow shift training we get now. Also those workers most likely were able to be full time if they wanted. Now retail, except for management positions, is mostly made up of part time workers, because you don’t have to give them benefits. So you have a workforce of perpetually underpaid, overwhelmed, undertrained people trying to do their best all while dealing with an entire generation of people who refuse to acknowledge that the system has changed and the average retail worker has NO control over that change and is being taken advantage of.

Like we got our customer surveys back, and almost every single one mentioned that they couldn’t find someone to help them or we needed more people on register because it was TOO SLOW, but what did management tell us instead of scheduling more people? We need to be quicker on register and call for backup if necessary. Which makes no sense because we can’t call for backup THAT ISN’T THERE.

[linguisticparadox]

FUCKING GODDAMN THIS

[jumpingjacktrash]

i’m gen-x and this trend was just starting when i got into the workforce. my parents were constantly aghast at my descriptions of perfectly normal work days. they rolled to disbelieve every time. they made excuses for the situation. they just did not want to believe this was the world their child was facing. but eventually they had to accept it, because it just kept getting worse.

when i got my first job in 1988, there was still such a thing as full-time cashier and food service jobs that got benefits and earned enough to support children – or sick parents – and have the basics of life. you had to keep your head down and kiss ass for a while to get bumped to full time, but you could do it.

those pretty much don’t exist anymore. if you don’t work in an office or a unionized industry, forget it. you’re part time, and your boss is going to screw you as much as they possibly can. you’re gonna need at least two of those part time jobs, by the way, because in addition to bennies going bye-bye, the minimum wage has gone up one dollar but your rent has doubled. kiss sleep goodbye, and don’t even think about going back to school – even if you’re ok with being in debt for the rest of your life, a degree won’t necessarily get you a job these days.

so not only are those cashiers getting yelled at for the way their bosses are screwing them – some of them are phd’s.

the irony is getting stale by this point.

[yes-this-is-groot]

Fun Facts About The Nightmare Before Christmas Movie pt 1

[221bitssmallerontheoutside]

Reasons why this is still one of the coolest films ever.

[allieoftheyear]

This film is the reason I’m a filmmaker and Tim burton is my favorite director

[nudityandnerdery]

Also a fun fact:

Tim Burton did not direct The Nightmare Before Christmas

[kateordie]

Henry Selick never gets the credit he deserves for this movie, and Coraline (which he also directed) never gets the credit it deserves for being total genius.

[tastefullyoffensive]

If this isn’t art, I don’t know what is. 🔊 (via jbillinson)

[unniefclivis]

@excuse-me-while-i-british

[kainimuramonster]

THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU FORGET TO RINSE THE TUB OUT AFTER USING A LUSH INTERGALATIC BATHBOMB!

He’s fine. He got a bath.

Lush glitter is made of seaweed.

[ishkia]

I hope you don’t mind but I drew your cat

[moranion]

i mean, this is pretty much the pinnacle of all things good and bright. a glitter kitty. 

[randomfandomteacher]

@sarai92

[milkshake-and-chips99]

Sabo: So... what's it like being married to Trafalgar?

Luffy: Once, I asked Traffy for a glass of water while he was pissed at me, and he brought me a glass full of ice and said, "Wait".