A Mini Mamma Bear

I have too many itty bitty siblings who act like I'm their mom so I'll accidentally act like your mamma too(plus, I'm actually a mamma now anyway). The next ask I get with foul language gets deleted; no ifs, ands, or buts. Definitely not single. I don't post or sell nudes and if you ask you get blocked, no excuses. That is your only warning. I'm a Catholic, but don't expect too much of me, I'm bad at explaining things.

[woodlandwaters]

I know I've never posted anything like this before, but friend of mine is having a family crisis and I can't help on my own.

[minimammabear]

I JUST WANT TO BE USEFUL

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[minimammabear]

As soon as I saw this I thought 'How does Evander Holyfield feel about it?' But it's all good.

[unhinged-kitten-deactivated2023]

i’m “house phone” years old

[ohifonlyx33]

i'm "computer room" years old

[minimammabear]

I am "Hey! >:( Which one of you didn't rewind the movie!!!" years old

[minimammabear]

I wanna eat a sweet and spicy bento squid snack so bad rn 😭😭😭

[jupiterlandings]

Couldn’t find the Susie bday gif set so here’s this for all your SCI birthday meme needs✨

[dingdongyouarewrong]

do you ever form close relationships with people in your dreams and then feel a little sad when you wake up

[dingdongyouarewrong]

i had a son in one of my dreams, he was 3 or 4, i loved him so much, i don’t remember his name but i remember loving him so much, and then i woke up and he was gone

[alittlewomble]

Hey um what the FUCk

[mumblesplash]

tldr: boy have i ever

[minimammabear]

I had a dream once or twice a year when I was about 9-16. I was a man in a nomadic tribe who met the love of his life. She was trying to kill him and eventually he let her. I couldn't do anything or change anything, just watching through his eyes. I always woke up crying and stayed in bed for a while.

[chapeldean]

i think you have to romanticize autumn a little. what else are you supposed to do

[frogressive-rock]

Men be like “basic women love autumn and pumpkin spice” yeah and what of it

[minimammabear]

My boss called himself basic a couple weeks ago for enjoying spiced hummis.

[prolifeproliberty]

From PAAU’s Twitter

[ffcrazy15]

Damn straight.

Also, can we talk about babywearing please? I get that there’s some professions where it’d be too disruptive or dangerous for the kid, but I work at an office job. If my ancestors could churn butter and weed the fields with a baby on their backs, I can handle a damn spreadsheet!

[minimammabear]

Yeah, I mean, if I can work from home with my kid just FINE why can't I work in an office?

[quiet-doll]

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours

[minimammabear]

*erases weed friend's lungs from fridge prayer list after he recovered from COVID*

*Scishow posts video about EVALI*

*puts friend"s lungs back on the prayer list*

[marlinspirkhall]

A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

[taken-aurally]

It’s years before anyone explains it to him.

[thetimetostrikeislater]

People keep gifting him robes with long white birds on them.

[thetimetostrikeislater]

[whetstonefires]

The fun thing is he would understand why people were getting him outfits with storks on them. That's a word, it's his name, straightforward. All the humans get him the same gag gift, but like, they're putting effort in at least. This is a genuinely nice outfit. Stork will be a walking zero-effort pun sometimes, rather than waste a perfectly fine robe.

It's fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

Six years in he finds out about the stork bringing babies.

[thesaltofcarthage]

Stork has a good long meditation session about this myth, his name, his job, the outfits, the whole shebang (or whatever Vulcan concept is the equivalent).

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

There’s no downside. Stork wears his robes, pins, keychains, and other bird-related tchotchkes with genuine pride. 

[timemachineyeah]

I cannot believe my dash did this.

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

Wait... You're homeschooled?! Am I finally not the only one?!

DUDE YOU ME AND @cats-inthe-cradle ARE ALL HOMESCHOOLED-

[leias-left-hair-bun-again-deact]

*bursts through the door* @trashcanmando​ @winterinhimring​ MORE HOMESCHOOL FRIENDS

[books-andspace]

ME TOO

[thirteenmyspacegirl]

YO ME THREE

[accidental-spice]

ME FOUR!!!!!!!

[fairytalearista]

Me five! Homeschool peeps unite!

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

me too!!

[taleweaver-ramblings]

Same here!

[lady-merian]

YEAH!

[laurelindorenan]

Beginning to wonder if Tumblr is a native habitat for current and former homeschoolers.

[minimammabear]

[celestial-citrus-archive]

no more christian housewives in pretty dresses and w nice hair, only christian housegoblins in baggy hoodies and haphazard buns mopping the floor like a creechur

[thesmallbutknowingclown]

Me as a Christian housegoblin:

[mellifexfarm]

do u know if it's okay to use nail polish on chickie toes? i just got four bb buffs and theyre identical lol would polish be a good way to tell them apart? could i use tempera paint maybe instead? or rely on my brain to tell them apart lol

yes! its perfectly okay. you can also use a tiny bit of food coloring on their head too

[minimammabear]

If you're worried about the chemicals in nail polish, piggy polish is a good kid&pet-safe brand :)

[marypsue]

maybe this silly little coffee drink will equip me to face the unrelenting and unendurable horror of existence