a team of the most skilled writers in the country couldn’t achieve the same visceral reaction to anything that this clip got out of me the first time i saw it
DEAR READER

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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement

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@missessupper
a team of the most skilled writers in the country couldn’t achieve the same visceral reaction to anything that this clip got out of me the first time i saw it
This is why Mr. Fry will always have a seat at my table.
Amen.
I was having a conversation about religion with this guy and he asked me what I would do if I got into heaven and had to sit next to God. I told him I wouldn’t take the seat.
Thank you, Mr. Fry, for articulating why polytheism makes so much more sense to me.
that last fry panel, oh that’s exactly it, that’s the joy of my life in my atheism. my life is mine, it is simple, and it is happier. oh that’s the perfect articulation of it, thank you Mr. Fry.
and here I was, foolishly thinking I couldn't love this man even more. I was proven wrong.
The tone deafness is mind numbing
Okay, so is the point of these things to give cops an excuse to shoot unarmed black people for looking at their cell phones in public? Or is it to make mass shootings easier by slipping these guns past security in schools? This is cartoon villain levels of awful. Fuck the NRA.
Guys maybe youre also forgetting the possibility that this gives police a reason to murder ANYONE who could try to RECORD THEM IN THEIR CRIMINAL ACTS. In this day and age its vital to record the police, but with this being a thing they can reasonably say they were “afraid for their lives” that someone was gonna pull THIS on them and then shoot bystanders without question
This is heinous
Getting close to fifteen thousand notes and almost every single comment is outraged and disgusted, at least people can see the terrifying implications of this
Like… i feel this was made specifically for this reason…. Police needed a reason, the NRA (already deepthroating the boot) jumped up and said “Okay”!
Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck
this worked last night lets go for round two
I really need some good luck rn
Anti anxiety.
I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT CAT ONE FOREVER
This is amazing but I’m on mobile so the gifs keep freezing. So I’m just sitting here turning purple like a fool. Keep breathing everyone!
Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears
Follow for more 1800s nostalgia
#who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x)
So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on.
No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos!
“1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course
There was also an 1893
From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.
This is worse than the math post
Hi! Here's your random Italian word: scoiattolo (n.) -- squirrel
thanks! 🐿
Everyone who reblogs this before 20/2/2020 will get a random Italian word in their ask box
Wait, what is this secret twentieth month of the year, and what happens on the second of that month? Is it like the minus world in Super Mario Bro’s??? I have so many questions, how many months of the year are they hiding from us?
I’m sorry for y’all but some of us have date writing formats that actually make sense
It took me too long to understand what they were talking about and now I’m cackling, I cannot believe
Are straight white people okay????
What is this?!
People like this exist. Interesting.
this story has a part 2
THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are
I thought it was the same person ngl.
I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.
THERE’S AN UPDATE
Stephanie is a true hero.
my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet
LAST TIME I REBLOGGED THIS THE LAST COMPARISON WASNT ON THERE
This is the best thing I have ever seen
@klubbhead You used a cinnamon roll for Rey and not Leia?
Dam it it got better
S T O P
@klubbhead
Do Darth Maul next!
This is why I love Tumblr. Do Yoda next please or Boba Fett.
Oh god. I can’t even think of something for them lol
Yoda gotta be raisin bread.
ENOUGH
NO
😬
do grand moff tarkin.
The last one got me.
I CAN’T
B R E A T H E
XD
i was mildly amused until the last one, at which point i broke
The post of legend has come again
OH GOD IT GOT BETTER
If hating fat people is about hating an unhealthy lifestyle:
Why do fat people get harassed at the gym, while jogging, or while swimming?
Why are fat people expected to cover up more? Changing what they wear will not make them healthier.
Why are thin people allowed to get away with not exercising and with eating all the pizza and bacon they want? If the problem is the unhealthy lifestyle, why doesn’t that apply to everyone?
Never mind. I already know the answer.
Mm, it says here these are facts
I’ll repost time and time again. Y'all don’t give two fucks bout fat people’s health you just project your insecurities on to others and see that as you giving “helpful advice”. You’re not being helpful, you’re being hurtful. Leave fat people alone and practice minding your business
gayest sport on earth
somebody’s obviously never heard of turkish oil wrestling
OH MY GOD I AM CRYING
you have not LIVED until you’ve seen live Turkish oil wrestling.
why is he putting his hand in his pants
That’s how you win. By securing a grip on the “kisbet” (the special type of pants the wrestlers wear) and then pinning the opponent is how victory is achieved. The loser will then kiss the victor’s hand as a sign of respect and admiration.
that sport was so made up as an explanation for two guys getting caught going at it
guys they oil each other up im crying here
This post literally gets gayer each time it appears on my dash. What the fuck?!?! This is like the most elaborate act that ever required a constant “no homo” to be chimed.
Some guy, having stumbled upon 2 of his close friends locked in a heated embrace, covered in oil, with their hands in each other’s pants: Bro, what the fuck are you guys doing?!
Gay dude about to make up Turkish oil wrestling: Oh, haven’t you heard?
lmaooooooooo
This post needs to be shared in all the blogs.
The best comic of the year 2020
I found this on Facebook and it's actually super important:
your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks
wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”
stop reblogging this new year new me i havent spilled beans in bed ONCE this year
uh oh
It gets funnier the earlier in the year you reblog it
Banned German Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Commercial.
LMFAO nigga what 😂😂😂
It's January 1st and I've already had enough internet for the whole year I-