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There he is, Simon Riley💀 _________ PRINTS on my shop: link in bio 🫶🏻 MORE ARTWORKS [NSFW Stuff] and RENDERINGS on p@treon: link in my bio 🫶🏻
So I was thinking about Star Wars and The Untamed—as you do—and not to be like, “hot take,” but regardless of who went dark side in canon, Wei Wuxian would actually make a much, much better Jedi than Lan Wangji would.
hey OP these are some fantastically thought provoking tags please tell us more???
#actually he’d make a better jedi than most mdzs characters #lxc might be okay but other than that #and i mean i can’t think of a way to do a star wars au off the top of the head #partly because i would want wwx to end up using the dark side because canon #and uhhhhhhh bisexual disaster brain says yiling laozu hot #but that really doesn’t work #because genuinely in star wars canon he does not have the right personality to go to the dark side #and again #weirdly #lwj DOES #but i don’t tend to be that into role reversal aus so that’s not how i’d write it #anyway #JUST A THOUGHT #modao zushi
WITH PLEASURE, @moonbelowsea. I mean, that was a wild 4am brainwave, but I mostly stand by it anyway? SO LET’S TALK ABOUT JEDI.
(Also, this is gonna have spoilers by implication for anyone who hasn’t finished the show/book, so read with caution! And the spoiler will be for something that, from the bottom of my heart, I, someone who cares about spoilers not at all, would encourage you to remain unspoiled for.)
So first off, in the Star Wars universe, there is no way to recreate the circumstances that had Wei Wuxian inventing demonic cultivation in canon. You cannot take away someone’s access to the Force without also taking away their access to the Dark Side. In the immortal words of Han Solo, “That’s not how the Force works.” And if that’s true, then Wei Wuxian doesn’t end up in a situation where the only option available to him is his single-plank bridge, because either the Force is there or the Dark Side also isn’t. Yeah, sure, the Dark Side is dubiously more powerful than the Force, but I don’t think that matters much, because the Force is pretty damn powerful, and…
Wei Wuxian has never loved anything so much that he’s unwilling to lose it. He’s not ‘attached’ to anything. There’s a lot of stuff and people he loves very much, but never in a particularly possessive way, and never in a way that supplants his other goals. Wei Wuxian will fight to the ends of the earth and to his own destruction, but only for moral imperatives. Things he’s willing to give up: his golden core, his family, his home, his reputation, literally everything he has. He fights to save the Wens not because he doesn’t want to live without them, but because it’s the right thing to do. He doesn’t even know most of them. And when he does, he loses pretty much everything he has, which, so we’re clear, no one else is willing to do.
There’s no possessive side to his love, nothing that he clings to when the only other option is letting go of his moral absolutes. You can make an argument that his inventing demonic cultivation is this on its own—that his use of an ethically dubious method to preserve his life and save the cultivation world from the Wens is comparable to going to the Dark Side for similar reasons (save the galaxy from the Wens, etc)—but again, I don’t think that’s necessarily a useful comparison, because you can’t replicate it based on Star Wars canon.
LAN WANGJI, ON THE OTHER HAND. Lan Wangji’s love is deeply possessive (and not just in a kinky way, though, you know, that too). He’s incredibly attached to Wei Wuxian; he’s willing to go to incredible lengths to keep from losing him a second time. This turns out to be fine, because Wei Wuxian is, without a doubt, a good person and someone who deserves to be saved, but I don’t think that’s at the forefront of Lan Wangji’s mind—this is more explicit in book canon, but when they first (re)meet at Dafan Mountain and Jiang Cheng tries to hit Wei Wuxian with Zidian to force his soul out of the body he assumes Wei Wuxian is forcibly possessing, Lan Wangji blocks the strike. Zidian doesn’t work anyway because Wei Wuxian got resurrected via sacrifice, but Lan Wangji would have no reason to block it if he thought that—he assumes Wei Wuxian is forcibly possessing Mo Xuanyu (a Bad Thing) and therefore moves to prevent him being removed.
I’m not even a little bit saying this makes Lan Wangji a bad person (it’s actually a personality trait I’m extremely fond of in fictional characters), but I am saying that being willing to do morally dubious things to prevent the loss of people you love (another book thing, but saving Wei Wuxian after the massacre at the Nightless City is frankly another example of this) is literally exactly what turned Anakin into Darth Vader in canon. Lan Wangji has no interest in vengeance (except on a very petty and non-violent level), which is a point in his favor and definitely lessens the possibility of him turning to the Dark Side, and he’s got enough self-restraint that I’m not saying it’s a done deal, but.
Lan Wangji is the kind of character who would be an amazing Jedi, held up as a shining example to all, up until the point at which circumstances conspire to fuck Wei Wuxian over and he becomes a Sith Lord without warning, leaving people all around him going, “What? Him? Him???”
Wei Wuxian, on the other hand, is the kind of guy who spends days in the Jedi vaults inspecting Sith holocrons and having terrible ideas and being disapproved of for being too reckless and emotional (though he actually isn’t? Lan Wangji is way more likely to make a choice based on emotions than Wei Wuxian is—this is why Wei Wuxian is a better Jedi), but then when it comes right down to it, his interest is purely academic. The Dark Side can’t touch him.
I mean, to be fair, in Star Wars, your fellow Jedi can sense some of your feelings—so instead, Lan Wangji is always being reminded to chill and be more like Wei Wuxian, and other than Wei Wuxian’s distressing tendency to yeet himself out of speeders and go in without a plan, he’s the one the Council treats as the Perfect Jedi. And everyone around who isn’t a Jedi is just sitting there like, “What the fuck. What the actual fuck. How is this the dynamic. How does that guy need to calm down. THAT OTHER GUY JUST JUMPED OFF A BUILDING SCREAMING, ‘COME AT ME, WENS.’ What the fuck.”
WHY do you keep hiding delicious goodness in the tags, @attilarrific. why.
THE TAGS: #i have a lot of feelings about star wars and mdzs okay #and lwj isn’t like #inevitably going to become a sith lord #he’s a lot harder to manipulate than anakin for one thing #and he’s got more self-control #but he’s definitely the kind of jedi the council is always a little worried about #who always kind of has the dark side hovering at his edges #because he’s too emotional! #he can’t accept his feelings and release them into the force! #and under the right circumstances #yeah #between the two of them #he’s the one who’d become a sith lord #modao zushi #meta
THIS WAS ALL SO AMAZING. fascinating and well thought out and oh my god??? I loved reading it SO MUCH and it’s SUCH a wonderful and extremely well thought out look into their characterizations??? I want to print it out and carry it around with me for a while and see if a crossover comes fully formed out of the ether out of sheer obsessive will
although I’ll argue, for the sake of argument, that if we WANT to keep the original societal dynamic (aka LWJ considered to be shining paragon and WWX the Fall risk), we could take away the part where Jedi can feel each other tendencies and emotions (I don’t read a lot of Star Wars fic but I haven’t seen that used before in what I’ve read, so I’m pretty sure it’s optional, and actually where did you get it from?, it sounds super interesting!)
EITHER POSSIBILITY SOUNDS AMAZING AND HILARIOUS THOUGH. I now need 30 different crossovers with each exploring a different possible interpretation.
more things to say, um. did I already mention I am in awe of the characterization you’ve teased out when constructing the crossover possibilities? because I am. that was fantastic. thank you for writing it out.
Lan Wangji’s more morally dubious personality traits are something that are very very near and dear to my heart and which are actually fairly difficult to properly explore and it’s incredible to see them so clearly written out here. thank you.
finally, something that I shamefully refrained from saying to the original post but I definitely should have: Yiling Laozu is indeed smoking hot.
he shouldn’t be. he’s a disaster.
possibly that adds to the hotness tho.
@moonbelowsea: although I’ll argue, for the sake of argument, that if we WANT to keep the original societal dynamic (aka LWJ considered to be shining paragon and WWX the Fall risk), we could take away the part where Jedi can feel each other tendencies and emotions (I don’t read a lot of Star Wars fic but I haven’t seen that used before in what I’ve read, so I’m pretty sure it’s optional, and actually where did you get it from?, it sounds super interesting!)
Did I…did I make that up? *searches memory frantically* IS THAT NOT A THING? I have read a lot of Star Wars fic, but to be fair, it’s been a while; it hasn’t been a main fandom of mine in years. And now that I’m thinking about it…it might mostly be a thing in master/padawan bonds? (Either in canon or fanon, I regularly lose track of which is which with Star Wars.)
But if it’s only a master/padawan thing (or maybe I’m just making all of this up, damn, I’m going to have to go back and read more SW fic), that provides a THIRD FUNNY POSSIBILITY, which is:
The Jedi Council fucking loves Lan Wangji, clearly the perfect Jedi, so calm, so at peace, so one with the Force—except for his original Jedi Master, who’s just standing there going, “WHAT CALM. Can you guys not tell that that kid is three mean comments from Jin Zixun and a bad hair day for Wei Wuxian away from becoming Darth Wei-Ying-Protection-Squad???” And the Jedi Council is always saying to Wei Wuxian, you know, “Quit being like this, you must,” but his Jedi Master is like, “Nah, he’s good. We’ve got nothing to worry about. You keep doing you, kid. I mean, maybe stop jumping out of moving vehicles, that shit stresses me out, please don’t die, but don’t worry about your feelings, your feelings are solid.”
(I have no idea who their Jedi Masters are. MDZS canon suggests Lan Qiren and Jiang Fengmian as the most obvious options, but a) that gets into family dynamics we can’t have, and b) I’m actually very into the idea that an aged-up Lan Xichen is Lan Wangji’s Jedi Master, even though we’ve still got the family dynamic issue. But he’s the guy who Knows Lan Wangji.)
But yeah—Lan Wangji, dude who loves possessively and dwells on every little thing and has never let a single thing go in his Entire Life? Definitely on track to be corrupted by the Dark Side. Wei Wuxian, guy who’s always cheerful and gives stuff up whenever it’s required of him and can’t even remember Jin Zixun’s name? He’s gonna be fine.
(Also: Yiling Laozu thirst solidarity!!!)
red-eyed yiling laozu ↳ for @wuxian-vs-wangji ♡
Make a secret plot to avenge your dead brother:
Cliche
Boring
Overused
Revive your dead old school mate, reunite him with his boyfriend, and have them unknowingly do the revenge for your brother’s death:
Creative
Innovative
Win-win solution
Your sinking ship can sail again
#i love him #‘me? run around getting in swordfights? i think NOT’ #‘hmmm who would be better at this’ #‘oh he’s dead? there’s gotta be an app for that’ (via @starfieldcanvas)
this kid is like…..the only character who isn’t treating the protagonist like trash
good for you kid. Good for your parents
this show Played me and I thank it everyday
I’ve seen your face, I’ve seen the scars behind your eyes I’m gonna ask you tonight I won’t ask you why, I won’t ask you where You’ll always be the one, you’ll always be(с) SC
so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count
holy f uck jane
its a serious question
well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.
new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing
no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.
you gotta digest it.
so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?
huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?
Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”
“you what now”
i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic
now that u said it im really surprised as well
what the fuck did i just read
Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?
I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.
I’m not convinced by this, actually!
Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”
But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:
“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”
Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.
The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.
(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)
Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.
And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”
Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years.
Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like
“you wanna come over for the weekend?”
“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”
“you what now”
This is my favorite act of intellectual bugfuckery on this entire website, when I die I want someone to print this out and place it in my grave with me so I can cherish it forever.
Yes honestly I genuinely love the faerie blowjob discourse going on here. It’s splendid.
The Untamed | Ep 35 | Duet with Wei Ying and Lan Wangji
the INNUENDO
The Untamed || Locations of the Five Great Sects
I just read this very interesting analysis and wanted to share. The OP is at https://m.weibo.cn/status/4445020754933008.
There are only 3 people in Lan Zhan’s cohort/generation to whom he’s made a formal bow, and it’s all related to Wei Ying. There are even minute differences in how low he’s bent at the waist.
1. Jiang YanLi, for raising him. She gave Wei Ying love and warmth in his previous life. 2. Mianmian, for aiding him. She stood up for Wei Ying at Koi Tower when no one else would. 3. Nie HuaiSang, for resurrecting him. He set everything up for Wei Ying’s return, even if his intent was far from altruistic.
Astute commenters also pointed out that “all those who tried to harm Wei Ying had a hand chopped off by Lan Zhan, unless they’re family.” The guilty were: Xue Yang, Jin GuangYao, and Su She.
Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling were spared because they’re kin, but look at how he used Bichen to slice through the ropes on Wei Ying’s and Jiang Cheng’s wrists at the temple — *with the utmost care* VS *too bad if you happened to fidget*.
‘I Take Issue’ project- wrote my first graphic novelette! Not something I’d normally say, but I’m super proud of this.
(please excuse the weird layout, it’s formatted for printing rather than internet)
I had to reblog this. Because it’s not only beautifully painted, its idea is something that needs to be shared, again and again, so that more people will take their bloody buckets off.
Thank you for making this.
This is Very powerfull
incorrect witcher quotes 2/? (insp)
JJ SAID TRIO RIGHTS!